Sunrise, Sunset

It is 4 o'clock in the afternoon and it feels like the sun just rose. We're in the midst of several days of stormy weather -- and I mean stormy, lots and lots of wind, rain and even thunder and lightening, unheard of around here -- and over the past hour the rain started to let up and the sky got lighter until finally the sun came out. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm reminded of the Ray Bradbury story "All Summer in a Day" where the sun comes out every seven years for one hour. A melodramatic comparison, I know, but it's amazing how much a little sun can turn my energy around. I've spent my day feeling blah with very little energy, not feeling motivated to do anything -- I played Civ this morning instead of meditating and doing my morning pages -- but now that the sun is out I feel like dancing around the living room in my underwear. Or something.

All in time for the sun to set. Okay, we've got about an hour, but it is kind of funny timing. I bet it will be a beautiful one with lots of pinks and purples reflected in the clouds that are still lingering, reminders of how recently we were granted a reprieve. It's easy to get spoiled by beautiful weather living in California. I choose to view days like this as gifts, enabling me to soak up the contrast created between the downpour and the sun and find the beauty in all of it. I'm so grateful for my sunrise this afternoon, and I anticipate a beautiful sunset to follow shortly. May you find beauty in this day as well. Namaste.

The shining

The new year did not get kicked off exactly as I planned. I ended up being waylaid by a stomach flu of some sort. While it was a very purging way to start the year, I would have preferred to do it my way, and definitely more gently. Isn't that always the way?

While I was caught up in the flu I found myself full of doubt, wondering if the choices I've made in my life these past few months were the right ones. Between jobs, focusing on my own personal growth instead of on making a buck, the lack of income has been a challenge. When I've gotten quiet and listened, I've been reassured that I am right on track, that the work I've been doing is exactly what I needed to be doing and that the income would sort itself out in time. But that voice was hard to find this week, and the voices of "logic" and "lack" loomed large instead.

The good news is that now that I've recovered my energy, I'm finding myself feeling very clear, very much on purpose, and very connected to that message of being in the right place. I feel very... full. Ironic considering how little I've eaten this week, but it makes a surprising amount of sense. I'm reminded of the movie Stardust -- Claire Danes plays a star who has fallen to earth. When she is happy, she begins to shine, filling with light that pours out all over. That's how I feel, like Who I Am is filling me up and pouring out, shining for all the world to see. It's no wonder really that I feel full.

Well, I should probably put a little food in my body as well to ensure that it isn't just lightheadedness I'm feeling. If you're in the Bay Area, stay dry and firmly planted to the earth during this storm. It's good to be back. Namaste.

Home again, home again

Dorothy was right -- there really is no place like home. The air is warm and clear, my cats are cuddling up with me, and perhaps most importantly, I have no obligations weighing on me. I am beautifully, gloriously not busy. I am so grateful to all the work I did before my trip that resulted in a smooth Connecticut experience, however I have absolutely no desire to do any further work myself right now. That earlier feeling of not wanting to take a vacation is completely gone, and I'm giving myself the rest of the year off -- a vacation to recuperate from my vacation. Some time to dabble in the age-old joy of doing nothing. My friend and mentor Caroline Reynolds is calling 2008 the Year of Power. Amen! And so I'm going to spend the next couple of days powering down -- for me, another form of healing, of rejuvenating -- so that I can power up successfully and hit the ground running in the new year.

So, enjoy the festivities, whatever you choose to participate in, and I will see you in the new year, ready to experience its unfoldment into the love and light that I know it is bringing. Namaste.

Dead Poets Society Quote

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And, the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless -- of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these O me, O life? Answer. That you are here -- that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.' That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

~John Keating in Dead Poets Society