Notes from Jenn's World

I'm sorry for going a week without posting anything. There was definitely a lot going on--one of these days I'll find that balance where I can be busy and active and still write blog posts. But in the meantime, let's catch back up with a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Reiki
I was very excited to receive my first degree Reiki attunement last weekend. I've been loving playing with the Divine in a new way through the Reiki healing energies. After learning how to give a table session, it occurred to me that I've been using a form of Reiki energy on myself and loved ones for a while now, I just didn't know that's what it was. But it was wonderful to learn how to channel the energy in new and more concrete ways, and I'm having fun practicing with both the standard forms and following my intuition.

Rock Band
Have you felt the pull of the game Rock Band? It's a game sort of in the same vein as Guitar Hero, where you wield a guitar-shaped controller and play a Simon-like game of hitting the right button and strumming at the right time to make the right note play on the screen. Rock Band takes this genre one step farther by introducing the drums and a vocal track. I have a "band" with my husband and two friends of ours (I'm the singer), so Saturday we tackled the Endless Set List--58 songs in a row. It was an absolute blast--exhausting, but the kind of serious fun that could be bottled and sold for big bucks. I suspect it's because it appeals to several aspects of you at once: my inner child loves it because it's playing, my creative self loves it because it feels like creative expression even as you're mimicking the original song, my body loves it because it can dance a little as I go. Fun for the whole family. Next up--a real band. It may take us a while to get it together, but we plan to start pulling out real instruments and seeing if we can't make some music together. Or at the very least, continue to just have a really good time.

Chihuly exhibit
After spending the day in San Francisco yesterday exploring the Chihuly exhibit at the deYoung Museum and enjoying hanging out with a new friend I met while training for the Avon Walk, I feel absolutely full. Chihuly's work is so full of joy and creative expression that it makes me feel like I am full of joy and creative expression. I totally want to learn how to do what I'm thinking of now as "fire art," i.e. anything that uses fire in order to come into being, like blowing glass or making pottery or what have you. I've always loved to draw and paint, but I like the idea of having a 3-D, very tangible presence at the end of your creative expression. I'll let you know if anything come of this urge.

Guinea pigs
So I am currently looking for "guinea pigs," people I can practice energy work on (or with). I am opening myself up to do more and more with energy, both on the giving end, like with Reiki, and on the reading end, like with the way I do tarot readings. I'm learning a new way of doing energy readings related to the chakras and suspect that about the time I'm getting a handle on that, a new way of reading energy will be given to me. So please do let me know if you'd be willing to let me practice and experiment by giving you an energy reading. At this moment in time, I am looking for Bay Area guinea pigs only, but I will definitely let you know when I am ready to expand to long-distance!

So what's new in your world? How have you been entertaining yourself? Are all of your different aspects feeling involved in your life? What kinds of new and exciting things have you been learning? I'd love to hear all about the growth and fun happening in your life right now. Namaste.

Photo: "Chihuly glass at the Bellagio," originally uploaded by Joe Flood

On Being Happy

Do you remember how much fun it was to play as a kid? Just throw yourself whole hog into an activity, just about any activity, and see where it takes you. When I look back, I have to laugh at how many of my games were based somehow in tasks I would consider work today, like playing school, making mud pies, heck, I even ran my own imaginary hotel. I loved this page out of Chellie Campbell's The Wealthy Spirit reminding me of the simple fun of playing in the ooze. Reaching the goal was never half as fun as the creation process, yet as grownups the end is just about the only thing we focus our energy on. Just think about how much fun we're missing out on!

On Being Happy
Day 95 of The Wealthy Spirit by Chellie Campbell

"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."
~Marcus Aurelius

As human beings are creatures of endless desire and hunger for betterment, it is our nature to always want to improve ourselves and our circumstances. This can be a positive force, motivating us onward to greater glorious goods for ourselves and for others. However, one can become lost in the constant search and craving for the next best thing, so trapped in future imaginings that we discount and ignore the accomplishments of the past evidenced in our present.

The art of happiness is an act of balance. We need to appreciate the process while we work within its creative ooze, the end results as yet unformed, like elements banging against each other in search of becoming sentient. As children playing with mud pies, the fun is in the making: baking in the golden sun, fingers sticky with mud-paint, grass-stained knees, brow wrinkled with concentration, searching for the perfect fine-grained dark earth to fashion into visionary pie. Day's end will come soon enough, no need to hurry to completion, for then the fun is over. Rejoice in the dreaming, glory in the doing, and let the dirt clods fall where they may.

Now, today, with your own mud-luscious imagined inventions, play with the ooze and be happy.

Today's Affirmation: "I am a rich child playing happily in Life's rich playground."

Photo: "A Boy's Work is Never Done," originally uploaded by KellyB.

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yes is a world

I was all set to write about the power of action today, but as I was swapping out my "Quote of the Week" this morning, it occurred to me that as much as I love e.e. cummings poem that was there, I haven't necessarily been LIVING it.

love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places

yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds

Reading this poem, even if it's my hundredth time reading it, gives me chills. It speaks to that part of me that has spent most of my life asleep, that part of me that yearns for me to stand up and truly say YES that all of life has to offer. It speaks to me in the language of my soul, answering a call that my spirit has been crying for a long, long time.

I'm still at a point where I'm not sure I know what living a life of YES would truly look like, but I think I can work backwards from what it would not look like. It would not look like settling--it would be making choices that serve me and my goals. It would not look like accepting table scraps and saying thank you, can I have some more please--it would be recognizing my power and strength and the gifts that I bring to the world, knowing my value and expecting it to be seen. It would not be gray and flat and lifeless--it would be full of color, fully fleshed out, vibrant, animate, alive.

Sometimes I'm blown away by how difficult it is for me to speak my truth, to stand in my power and tell the world that I'm here, that I'm a force for good in this universe, that I am a voice of wisdom and understanding, that I am a conduit for God or Infinite Intelligence or Source or whatever you want to call that all-powerful, all-encompassing ONENESS that is the creative source of our universe. The DailyOM this morning struck such a chord with me, talking about that feeling of spinning our wheels, possibly even feeling like we're going backwards, but needing to remember that each step is a step forward. Forward progress, it's all forward progress. That can be so difficult for me to recognize some days, when I find myself stuck in a pattern that I thought I'd caught and eliminated 10, 15, 20 years ago. How long am I going to allow myself to be stuck under the mantle of "I'm not good enough"?

But this is when I have to take a deep breath, let all that tension in my shoulders and my stomach dissipate and remember that the "I'm not good enough" of 2008 is a mere shadow of its former self. The truth of my forward progress really is self-evident--when I let go my perfectionism and judgment, I can see it clear as day. And this past year has been about moving what I know from my head to my heart, into my body, so that I can FEEL it. I suppose this next year is going to be about moving it out of my head and body into the world, really putting my money where my mouth is and living the life that I truly want, that I know I deserve, and that I truly was born to live. This year is going to be about shifting my self-definition, how I perceive myself internally and how I describe myself to the world.

I am a writer. I am a coach. I am a spiritual intuitive. I have unique gifts to share with the world. This is who I am. Do you know who you are? How do you want to define yourself moving forward? Are you ready to share that definition of yourself? I cannot promise you that this kind of shift will be easy, but I know that, for me at least, it is necessary. And I hope to even have some fun with it along the way. Namaste.

Creative urges

I was fiddling around on Google this morning and stumbled across this image that just struck a deep chord with me. God, do I ever wish I were artistically talented. I'm in complete awe of people who CREATE. I have trouble thinking of myself as a creative person, even when I'm doing things that are inherently creative, but it's something I've always yearned for. Kind of like when I was little and I just loved my cousins' Southern accents and I wanted to be Southern so bad it hurt. I didn't realize that it was what was on the inside that mattered, I could only see the external stuff. Now I don't identify myself with just one part of the country -- I honor my Southern roots and Yankee upbringing just as much as I honor my Californian home. But I digress.

I think that the creative urge is one we all share, that it runs deep within the parts of us that make us human. It's related to the urge to procreate for sure, but I think it's more than just that. Our conscious minds might yearn for remembrance, to leave a little piece of ourselves behind when we pass on to the next realm. But our souls yearn for an opportunity to express Who We Are, to get deep into the heart of the matter, of whatever matters, and connect with it, feel it, shine a light on it, and show it off to the rest of the world, whatever it is. When I was cleaning out my linen closet last week -- and boy, am I ever still reveling in that -- I stumbled across a bag of painting supplies. Damn, I've had those a long time. Some of those oils paints and brushes are from a painting class I took in college. I have to say, I was one of the least skilled people in that class, but I had so much FUN it just didn't matter. One of my favorite classes in high school was drawing. Now that I was good at, I admit. I even had one of my ink drawings submitted for a state art show. Sadly, I never got it back, but I remember how good that felt, and also a little scary, that something I had made was being shown off to so many people.

These days, most of my creative urges get channeled into making mixes for friends. Ah yes, I still do love those old mixed tapes I got from boyfriends and made for myself back in high school and college. So now I burn CDs, sad that they have to be so much shorter, but still enjoying the whole process, from song selection and arrangement right down to cover art and typeface choices. But of course by now, we all know about my love affair with music. What I really crave is a creative outlet that is 100% me, where I'm not just sharing other peoples' talents with the world, but my own. Writing, painting, sculpting, collaging -- whatever moves me for the day -- I need to find that outlet, find that way to express myself in a creative fashion, let out some of this pent up creativity that has been seeking a place to go. Who knows, I might just surprise myself and be an artist after all. Or I could just have a whole heck of a lot of fun. The outcome is not what's important here, it's all about enjoying the ride. Namaste.

Music makes the world go round

I've spent a substantial part of the day today working. Shocking, I know. I'm really enjoying freelancing because it gives me something a little different to sink my teeth into each day. Today, however, what I enjoyed the most was the opportunity to sit in one place for most of the day listening to music. I have such strong associations with the concept of "work" not being fun -- even though I always laughed a lot and made having fun at the office a priority -- that I felt a little guilty having enjoyed this background aspect of my workday. Yes, something for me to eradicate before I create my next work experience, because I genuinely believe that when your work is play, you are more productive and happier to boot.

Not really surprising after my giddy post last night, I'm enamored with Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. I made myself a "Falling Slowly" station on Pandora and have been listening to it for the past few hours. It's given me additional joy by reminding me of songs I love by Damien Rice (Cold Water), Rosie Thomas (Kite Song), Blue October (Into the Ocean), and Colin Hay (Overkill). Across the universe, Ellis, who has the honor of being the most recent musical love of my life, sent out an email update and included a music video she made for one of her new songs. While it is silly and obviously low budget, I absolutely love the song and played it a few times and danced around my office for a bit.

I swear, music makes the world go round. It is one of the primary ways that I connect emotionally with the rest of the world. Each song has its own little universe contained in it full of love and heartbreak and passion and life. A good song fills up me, makes me FEEL in such a way that my heart wants to burst with its emotion. I'll laugh, and cry, and laugh and cry some more, and then replay the song and do it all over again. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would pick a handful of really talented but mostly unknown singer-songwriters and fund their music careers so that they could share their powerful magic with more of the world.

Who do you love right now? Who knocks you out and makes you want to dance and fills you with passion? Help me in my eternal quest to expand my musical horizons, and thereby my heart and soul. Namaste.

P.S. Happy Birthday, Don!