Unvacation

Being between jobs gives me a new perspective on things. For instance, I don't think so much in terms of M-F and weekends so much as I think in terms of when my husband will and won't be home. Or, I think in terms of what things I'm better at during the morning vs. the afternoon or evening. Today has been an interesting day in that I keep having to remind myself for many people it's the eve of a vacation, whether it is just 4 days long or they don't go back to work until the 2nd of January. My physical therapist's office was mostly empty and there was a spirit of camaraderie in the air, a sense of, "we're all experiencing this together," and I felt a little out of place in it. Sure, I'm leaving for a week myself tomorrow -- my husband and I are heading to Connecticut to spend the week with family -- but I'm not on "vacation" from anything. Then again, I've been working incredibly hard the past few weeks. Not in a traditional sense, sure, but does that make me any less deserving of a vacation?

The interesting thing is, I don't really want a vacation. I've been trying to figure out how I can keep doing my work -- my meditation, my writing, my exercises -- while I'm on this trip. My days will be full of last-minute shopping, gift wrapping, and visits with family and friends, which makes me wonder if I should adopt a schedule more like I'm working a full-time job, where I'm up at 5:30 to ensure I have time do what I need to do and still get out the door by 7:30 or 8:00. In the past traveling was an excuse for me to blow everything off, from my diet and exercise to meditation -- I even read a different caliber book when I travel. But I feel called to do the opposite this time, to challenge myself to truly incorporate this work I'm doing into my life in such a way that it sticks even when I am on the road. This may be easier said than done, seeing as how things slipped this week due to time-sensitive holiday tasks and I haven't even left California yet, but I like the idea of shifting my expectations for this journey, inside and out. I'd like to be centered and strong in my sense of self, able to go with the flow and relax and have fun while still being productive. My work enables this -- it may take up time itself, but it makes up for it in spades throughout the day.

So, wish me luck in my endeavors and with my trip. I'll bring back a snowball for you. Namaste.