Notes from Jenn's World

Just a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

Only 40 days to go! I am absolutely loving participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this year. Of course, I did just have a short training weekend -- only 9 miles on Saturday and 4 on Sunday. Ask me again next weekend after I've walked 20 miles on Saturday and 9 on Sunday -- it might be a different story! Actually, it's been a wonderful experience, even on the long and hot days. It's a testament to the fact that you can do anything, truly anything, especially when you have the love and support of those around you. My team, the Urban Dog Walkers, have been amazing, so much fun to train with and just an incredible support system. They make this look easy! The fundraising appears to have slowed down, so I lowered my personal goal to $2,200. As of this writing, I'm 77% of the way to my goal, 94% of the way to my requirement. I've raised $1,689 of the $1,800 I need in order to walk. Do you want to be the angel who kicks me up over $1,800?

Looking for work

As much as I have been loving watching things unfold these past few months, my income has not yet grown to the level that I can afford to live off of. So I am expanding my net, looking for work of all types. While I would still prefer a part-time gig or more freelance work, I am open to full-time work for the right organization. If I can work from home, the office could be literally anywhere in the world. Otherwise, it would need to be fairly close to home, i.e. the peninsula south of San Francisco. If you know of anyone looking for a project manager, writer, jack-of-all-trades, or really any interesting position they're willing to train for, please holler. I am certain that the right work is out there, and I'd bet they're looking for me right now, too!

Tarot readings

One of my favorite things that has come up out of this self-discovery process are my tarot cards. As explained on osho.com, the Osho Zen Tarot is not about deepening your understanding of the past or seeing into the future, it's about gaining clarity about the present moment. Based on Zen wisdom, these cards provide insight into what is happening in your life right now and seeing whether or not that is in alignment with your goals. I've found that while I can receive messages through many mediums, these cards speak to me with a clarity and consistency that I haven't found anywhere else. While I've mostly used them to do readings for myself, I've started branching out into readings for friends. Interested in receiving a reading yourself? I'm offering complimentary readings right now as part of my practice. I'm able to do long-distance readings for those I know well; otherwise, it would need to be in person. Let me know if you're interested!

So what's going on with you? What goals are you working towards these days? What new things are you exploring? I'd love to hear about all the flow and synchronicity that is happening for you as your life's journey continues to unfold. Namaste.

Don Miguel Ruiz, the first agreement

1st Agreement: Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip with others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Do nothing

"What I call “doing the dishes” is the practice of loving the task in front of you. Your inner voice guides you all day long to do simple things such as brush your teeth, drive to work, call your friend, or do the dishes. Even though it’s just another story, it’s a very short story, and when you follow the direction of the voice, the story ends. We are really alive when we live as simply as that—open, waiting, trusting, and loving to do what appears in front of us now . . . What we need to do unfolds before us, always—doing the dishes, paying the bills, picking up the children’s socks, brushing our teeth. We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do. Whether you have ten dollars or ten million dollars, life never gets more difficult than that."
~Byron Katie

My left brain, intellect, masculine side is still stir crazy this week. All it wants is to do do do do do. Yet the messages I'm getting from the Universe are: There's nothing to do. There's only being. Something wonderful is being born from this stillness. All you have to do is to sit still and allow it to come.

One would think this would be a wonderful message, something to rejoice at. Don't we spend most of our lives wishing we had more time to relax, to be at peace? But my body and mind are just itching to be active. I've felt listless, uncomfortable, even lost. Why is that, I wonder? Where is the fear in just being? I don't have any answers today. Really, I think even the questions are just my mind trying another tactic to get me to be active.

Instead, my practice today is simple: breathe, and be aware that I am breathing; eat, and be aware that I am eating; listen, and be aware that I am listening; live, and be aware that I am alive; see the world around me, enjoying it through each of my senses; don't do anything. Namaste.

Photo: "PEACE," originally uploaded by Alex

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The Sonnets to Orpheus

The Sonnets to Orpheus, Part Two, XII

by Ranier Maria Rilke

Want the change. Be inspired by the flame
where everything shines as it disappears.
The artist, when sketching, loves nothing so much
as the curve of the body as it turns away.

What locks itself in sameness has congealed.
Is it safer to be gray and numb?
What turns hard becomes rigid
and is easily shattered.

Pour yourself out like a fountain.
Flow into the knowledge that what you are seeking
finishes often at the start, and, with ending, begins.

Every happiness is the child of a separation
it did not think it could survive. And Daphne, becoming a laurel,
dares you to become the wind.

Reconnecting

"When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."
~Will Rogers

We all have those moments, days, weeks where it feels like we can't keep up, we aren't centered or grounded, we're separated from Source. I don't know about you, but when it happens to me, I have this sense that it will require a grand gesture to turn it around. Missed a few days of meditation? Then I must need an hour-long meditation plus two more hours of spiritual practice to catch back up. And then when I don't have the time or make the time for such a long practice, I judge myself as lacking and sink deeper into the darkness.

The thing is, of course, we're never completely closed off from Source and no matter how disconnected we feel, reconnection is literally only a breath away. Once the awakening has begun, once you've had a taste of the experience of your deep connection to Source, it doesn't take much to bring you back there. Here are a few simple tools you can use throughout your day to either help you remain connected or reconnect you as needed:

Breathing. We are constantly breathing, in and out, all day long, each and every day. It is something we are generally unconscious of, but try bringing your consciousness to this natural process, recognizing with each breath that you are alive in this moment, right now. Do this for a few moments or a few minutes, depending on where you are and how much time you have. It's amazing how this simple technique can bring you quickly back to yourself, to you as observer, as awareness, to the now.

Be Here Now. The key to happiness is to stay present in this moment. I find that a simple mantra can work wonders in helping me remain present when I find my mind wandering into past and future events. I've been using "Be Here Now" recently, although any mantra will work. I've also been playing with the idea that whatever I am doing right now, it is my life's purpose to be doing it, and so I remind myself of that as I work. It is a great way to turn any activity into a meditation and almost always brings me up out of whatever dark thoughts were trying to take hold in my mind into the space of light and peace that is always available in the now.

Music. Listening to music can be a quick and easy way to reconnect. Our bodies are energy and we are all vibrating. Music is also a vibration, and when the two vibrations meet, we can experience a deep harmony. I know for me there are a few tracks that from the first note I feel myself transported. If you don't already know what works for you in this way, I recommend exploring the many examples that are available these days developed with the intention of positively affecting people's vibration. My current favorite is Jonathan Goldman's Waves of Light, although I also enjoy the Brainwave Suite and the second track of Kelly Howell's Retrieve Your Destiny. The Globe Institute for Sound Therapy & Healing is a great resource as well. They have a collection of CDs available in their store with demos for you to sample. When you visit their website, they have a selection playing, "Awakening," that instantly transports me, and I often leave the page open in the background while I'm working so that I can stay in that sense of the divine no matter what I'm doing.

Nature. If you have a wee bit more time, try connecting with the natural world. If there's a park or a forest nearby, go for a short walk. Try taking off your shoes, feeling the grass or dirt beneath your feet. Connecting with the earth directly is a quick and easy way to literally ground yourself through the earth's energy. When you don't have nature readily at hand, try observing the flora and fauna around you. Flowers in a vase, a house plant, a pet, a bird outside your window -- take a few moments to really experience these examples of life that can be found just about everywhere, using each of your senses. You may feel how they radiate energy just like you do. Or you may just notice their simple beauty. Whatever comes up for you, the natural world provides so many examples of the essence of life that it can become a great way for you to reconnect with your own sense of that essence within you.

The key here is really it only takes a moment to remember what it is we already know--that we are one with the Source of all life and that the only moment that truly is is this one. When we come into that awareness, we are in contact with the power of the universe, with the divine. Try playing with a few of these tools this week, maybe by setting up a reminder alarm to go off a few times throughout the day or by using them when you start to feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness. I think you'll find it only takes a moment to turn your day around. Good luck, have fun, and let me know how it goes! Namaste.

Photo: "That my life would depend on the morning sun," originally uploaded by ThunderChild the Magnificent

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A New Earth -- A New Earth

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the tenth and final week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through--listen to this music."
~Hafiz, as translated by Daniel Ladinsky

For whatever reason--resistance, the timing of the Universe is perfect, etc.--it has taken me over a week (two, if you count my trying to watch it on the plane to Georgia) to watch the final week of the A New Earth web event. And I'm kind of glad it did. It's given me time to really soak this one up, to savor it, linger over it, which seems appropriate for a finale. Eckhart was his usual jovial self but Oprah seemed a little sad to have it all come to an end. I look forward to watching her continue to grow and unfold, to see where life continues to lead her.

My favorite part
I loved the way Oprah put the "what to call God" problem. She said something to the effect of, Spirit doesn't have an ego so it doesn't get hung up on what it's called. Yes!

How to stay present
At one point Oprah shared that her mantra (my word, not hers) is, "Be here, be now." She repeats it to herself as a reminder to be present. Mine is very similar, "Be Here Now." I'm not sure why it needs to be capitalized, but that is how it shows up in my head. It's almost like the words get dropped into my mind one by one, each word their own reminder. Be. Here. Now.

Growing older, growing wiser
One of the most striking concepts in this chapter for me was how all of this applies to growing old. As I'm sure we all do, I know many people who have so identified with what they DO that growing old has been a tragedy for them. Each responsibility they can no longer manage, each task they can no longer perform, is like an arrow through their heart. The process is nothing but pain, nothing but regret, and they spend their time either complaining, focusing solely on what's wrong, or lost in nostalgia. However for others, they begin to recognize that there is so much more to life than just the doing. It is through having the doing reduced in their life that they recognize the presence and importance of being. They grow lighter, freer, and end up with a luminescent quality. These individuals have been rarer in my life, but are such lights when you come across them. I know which way I'd rather be, but I don't want to wait until I'm old--I want to start today! (See the poem I posted this morning for further exploration of this subject.)

What you do is always secondary
There was just something about the way this concept was reiterated in this webcast that got me. What you do is always secondary; how you do it is primary. You want to know how to fulfill your destiny? Do whatever it is you are doing, no matter how seemingly large or small, completely and utterly consciously, full of presence. No what where you are, whether you're mailing a package at the post office, waiting tables at a restaurant, washing up after breakfast, bring your Presence with you. That's what showing up and fulfilling your destiny looks like. Placing the plate down on the table in front of your customer with full awareness, consciousness, presence, affects everyone around you. It doesn't matter what it is you are doing--if you are doing it consciously, you are bringing more Presence into the world and playing your role in the greater awakening of the planet.

Goals and visions
This is one of those concepts I've been working with for over 15 years, but I feel like it was presented to me brand new. Your goal, your vision, is not something "out there" that is in the future. It lives within you as if it were already a reality, because on some level it already is. It isn't a goal you are projecting yourself into, something you will reach someday. It isn't something coming from a place of neediness or scarcity, it is coming from a place of fullness, the way it would feel if you already had it. Because it is something that already exists within you, ready to be born into form in your life. Eckhart talked about writing The Power of Now in this fashion. He sensed that there was a book within him that had already been written. His job, then, was just to allow this already completed construct to come out of him, to manifest itself. This is where true power lies, because all power exists in the present moment. It is about always focusing on this step, just this step. Whatever this moment is, it is a step on the journey.

Acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm
The key point to this chapter (to me, anyway) is that it is time to choose to do everything with acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm. If you cannot operate from one of these three modalities, you are not in alignment with the present moment, with yourself, with life, and you are causing yourself and/or those around you suffering. So the question to always ask yourself is, what is my relationship with the present moment? Am I okay with this moment, friendly with it? If yes, then you are empowered. If no, then ask yourself what you can do to move towards acceptance. It may be that you need to stop doing whatever it is you're doing, step aside and into something that you can accept. Or you may be able to find acceptance just through becoming aware of where you are, consciously shifting your attention towards recognizing that this moment is what it is. You don't have to enjoy changing a tire, but when you accept that the tire is flat and changing it is what needs to be done, as opposed to resisting it, cursing it, getting upset with it, etc., then you will be able to find peace in the experience.

I loved what Eckhart had to say about enjoyment, that it will replace wanting. Wanting comes from a place of lack, and when you get whatever it is you were wanting, you feel empty and unfulfilled. Enjoyment, however, leaves you feeling full. It brings empowerment to what you do, flowing through you and allowing creativity to be born in what you are doing. Joy does not come from what you do, from another person, from outside of you in any way--it comes from within, flowing out of you into the world around you.

So my exercise for this week, and yours too, if you so choose, is to pay attention to where I am and see if I can shift the energy. If I feel like I'm in resistance, fighting the moment, then it is time for me to move into acceptance. If it's something I'm already able to accept, then I can make a game out of it, find a way to turn that acceptance into enjoyment. And if it's something I'm already able to enjoy, then I can look for that extra something that reminds me this moment is a step towards manifesting my vision and allow enthusiasm to come into play. The new earth already exists within us. Our job now is to allow it to come through us, to be made manifest in form in our lives. Namaste.

Photo: "Dream," originally uploaded by Jan McLaughlin

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When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

I was reminded of this wonderful poem this morning, one I had the pleasure of being introduced to as a teenager and, when I've remembered, one I've taken to heart.

Warning
by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Photo: "embrace the purple," originally uploaded by Claudia A. De La Garza

Bodhidharma quote

When mortals are alive, they worry about death. When they're full, they worry about hunger. Theirs is the Great Uncertainty. But sages don't consider the past. And they don't worry about the future. Nor do they cling to the present. And from moment to moment they follow the Way.

~Bodhidharma

Living with uncertainty

This past week has been such a good reminder for me that life is what happens when you're making other plans. My overdeveloped intellectual, masculine, left-brain side of me has been absolutely writhing with impatience as I've essentially accomplished nothing that I set out to accomplish. I had all these plans for how I was going to get back on track, or even better, how I wasn't going to get thrown off track in the first place by my trip to Georgia. My intellect was already expressing disappointment with me that I hadn't been blogging regularly and so I downloaded the 10th A New Earth webinar to watch on the plane with the intention that I would even post my comments from Georgia without missing a beat. The universe must have been laughing at me, for when I turned on my laptop at 30,000 feet the file was gone. All attempts to watch the webinar since I've been home have been derailed by everything from computer failure to 100 degree heat.

I've had similar experiences with most of the rest of my too long to-do list to the point where I just have to relax, laugh, and say, Okay, what do you want from me? When I sit still and listen, I receive a gentle response that comes from the spiritual, feminine, right-brain side of me reminding me just to be, to let go, to take care of myself, to be myself, and all the rest of it will fall into place. I'm reminded that now is the time for me to relax into the mystery of life, to learn to live with uncertainty, to focus on BEING instead of doing. This is my gift both to myself and to the world, because through being I can become what I came here to be, which really is just simply ME.

My life has always been fairly well planned. I didn't have a sense of what I'd be doing 5 or 10 or 30 years from now, but I had a feel for the rhythm of it, for the texture of it. My ambitions would take me far in my work and I would be very successful. I believed in the common wisdom of climbing the corporate ladder, using my current job to get a better job, working hard so that I would be well rewarded. This was my DOINGness, my masculine energy, my left-brain intellect at play. But I was never happy in my work, never happy with the rewards, never happy with the success. It all felt empty and without purpose. I knew there was more to life than what I came to think of as "making other people rich." I knew that my true purpose lay in a different direction, but this energy was so strong in me that I couldn't escape it.

I left that world a little over 7 months ago, and it feels like I've been in a retraining mode all these months. It's almost like I've been in physical therapy, strengthening my right-brain so that it can at least find a balance with my left-brain. In some ways, I've had to swing the pendulum pretty far in the opposite direction to get the energy shaken up enough that a balance can occur, and I may need to live from a place of BEING for a while yet before a balance is possible. I'm learning how to live my life without a plan. That doesn't mean I don't have a vision--in fact if anything my vision is much clearer, much stronger than it ever was before. But I'm not caught up in "how" I'm going to get there. My focus is on allowing a little bit more of the mystery to unfold each day, enjoying the ride, having fun with the process, finding peace in the present moment.

Are you at peace with the mystery? Can you find peace in the uncertainty? No matter how much we plan, how little uncertainty we think there is in our lives, life really is what happens when we are making other plans. Just like the present moment is the only one that is, life is nothing but uncertainty. We do not know what the next minute or hour or day or month will bring. When we learn to be at peace with this truth, we can truly appreciate where we are in this moment, and we can make room for BEING in our lives and begin to pave the way for what is truly important in our lives, begin to live our lives as fully and richly as possible, begin to be Who We Really Are. Namaste.

Photo: "What does this picture mean to you?," originally uploaded by chema.foces

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I am Life's Anchor

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are powerful beyond measure, and as Marianne Williamson says, it is our greatest fear. There is safety and comfort in conformity, in staying small, however there is no truth, no passion, no divinity. To find these things we must expand into Who We Really Are, stand up and be seen for the unique, individualized expressions of Life that each of us is at the core of our being.

This morning I was told of an exercise that August Gold has been using lately in her classes at Sacred Center New York. I've been playing with it today and I love how powerful it is and yet how playful it is. The truth I've recently come to know about myself is that I am Peaceful, Powerful, and Playful, so it isn't surprising that this exercise speaks to me. I find that it connects me with that larger truth of my being that I am only just beginning to let myself see, let alone the rest of the world. There is no place to hide within this exercise, but because it is fun, I am able to get out of my own way and let it flow. Here's how it works:

You take the alphabet and create an affirmation around each of the 26 letters. Begin each affirmation with "I am Life's . . ." and then insert a word the begins with that letter of the alphabet. You can use any word that feels good in place of Life--Source, God, the Universe, Divine Intelligence, etc. If something unusual comes up that doesn't instantly make sense, play with it for a bit and see where it leads you. For example, "I am Life's Dandelion," might not be immediately clear, but if you let it unfold you might get, "I am Life's Dandelion, spreading the seeds of truth wherever I go."

You might be surprised at what comes up for you, which concepts make you uncomfortable and which ones resonate immediately. But remember, the truth of Who You Are is powerful beyond measure. Let go, have a little fun with it, and see where it leads you. Namaste.

My first set:

I am Life's Anchor, connecting the divine to the earth.
I am Life's Basin, collecting all wisdom that flows my way.
I am Life's Caterpillar, about to become a beautiful butterfly.
I am Life's Dancing Queen.
I am Life's Expanding consciousness.
I am Life's Friend, opening my heart to all who cross my path.
I am Life's Guide, sharing what I've learned through my life's exploration.
I am Life's Hymn, expressing my joy through song.
I am Life's Imagination.
I am Life's Jenny Boo Boo, bringing joy and playfulness wherever I go.
I am Life's Kick-ass Slickrock Woman, capable of doing anything or going anywhere I so choose.
I am Life's Looking glass, reflecting Love and Light back into the world.
I am Life's Magic carpet ride, transporting myself and others into the magic of the world around us.
I am Life's Nowhere (now here).
I am Life's Open book, showing up as 100% myself with nothing to hide.
I am Life's Piecrust, ready to be filled with all the yummy goodness life has to offer.
I am Life's Qi, allowing the energy of the universe to flow through me.
I am Life's Revealer, healing through revealing the truth of the divinity within.
I am Life's Superball, always bouncing back.
I am Life's Tulip, blossoming beautifully.
I am Life's Umbrella, finding joy even in the hardest rain.
I am Life's Vibrant vitality.
I am Life's Well-being.
I am Life's X ray, seeing through the appearances to find the gift in every situation.
I am Life's Yin and yang, balancing my masculine and feminine energies.
I am Life's Zigzag--my path may not always be straight, but I know that life's a journey not a destination.

Photo: "joy," originally uploaded by Martin Talbot

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Heat wave

It's hot. There's really no other word for it. I'm sure people who live in Texas and Vegas would find this comfortable, but I am a fully acclimated San Franciscan and it is hot. It never dropped below 80 degrees in my apartment last night and we're supposed to have highs near 100 today. I've been trying to catch back up this week, but it's been tough. When the temperature soars, my energy plummets. So new plan--today I'm using my morning hours to be active and I'll spend my afternoon in air conditioning, exploring places like the library and the mall to their best advantage. One of these days I'll get back on track, but in the meantime, I'm using being off-routine to help bring any resurfacing old thought patterns off their normal routines as well. I'm practicing what I preach, recognizing that any situation can be turned around and found to be positive. Wish me luck!

I'd like to leave you with a little inspiration that came to me this week via email. It's a geeky self-improvement message--right up my alley and hopefully yours as well. Namaste.

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let' s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge andResentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error: Program not running on internal components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don' t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Photo: "Stay cool," originally uploaded by Alexander Kaiser

Tibetan Book of the Dead quote

Remember the clear light, the pure clear white light from which everything in the universe comes, to which everything in the universe returns; the original nature of your own mind. The natural state of the universe unmanifest. Let go into the clear light, trust it, merge with it. It is your own true nature, it is home.

~Tibetan Book of the Dead

Coming home

I know it's been said before (and I'm sure more eloquently), but the best thing about traveling is coming home. I just returned from 5 days in Georgia visiting family in Atlanta, Rome, and Marietta. As wonderful as it was to see everybody, it is so very good to be back home again. It was absolutely beautiful in Georgia--green and lush and really perfect temperatures mostly in the 70s--and I wondered how my tan hills would compare. But not to worry, California is still very much my home, and my first glimpse of the Bay Area through the airplane window this morning brought a huge smile to my face. My husband, Sean, picked me up at the airport and I was so grateful to get to spend some brief time with him before he had to head back to the office. And while my grandparents' new kitten, Sweetie, completely stole my heart, my girls, Gryphon and Morgan, were waiting for me here and haven't left my side even for a second since I walked in the front door. Travel brings newness, curiosity, reunion, but home brings a comfortable bliss that just can't be beat. Namaste.

Photo: "California Poppies," originally uploaded by docentjoyce

A New Earth -- Your Inner Purpose

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the ninth week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

"There is always only this one step, and so you give it your fullest attention. This doesn't mean you don't know where you are going; it just means this step is primary, the destination secondary. And what you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step."
~Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

This chapter, Your Inner Purpose, was by far my favorite in A New Earth. Don't get me wrong, the whole book, this whole web event series, has been wonderful, but this one spoke to a deep place in my soul. My apologies for continuing to be a week behind the live class, but I really wanted to give this chapter the time and attention it deserved.

I think this whole chapter can be summed up by my favorite expression: "Life's a journey, not a destination." I love how Eckhart talks about this concept, gives it his own spin and increases my own understanding of it. He speaks of inner purpose and outer purpose. Your inner purpose is about BEING, is about awakening, and is always primary. Your outer purpose is about DOING, and is always secondary. When we usually talk about our life's purpose, we are talking about the doing, and almost without fail we have placed this doing in the future. True purpose is in the present moment, whether it comes from being or doing. Its focus is not on the destination--its focus is on this one step, whatever it is that is occurring right now, in this moment.

I've found myself this week becoming aware of what I'm doing in the moment and saying, "My life's purpose is to be doing this." So right now, my life's purpose is to be writing my blog post. Just saying that immediately makes me expand, makes me more aware, enables me to feel my aliveness and allow the words to flow through me and into my fingers. I am one with life and my inner purpose--I am awakening.

I could probably end right there--that AHA! has carried me through the week and I expect I'll be playing with it for weeks to come. That one concept opens up my field of awareness and makes me feel so energized, so alive, so fully present, and allows me to distance myself from what has been my goal these past few months, which is to uncover my outer purpose. But the thing is, living from the inner purpose IS the path to the outer purpose. As Eckhart says, once you realize that the primary purpose of your life is the inner purpose, to awaken, then the secondary purpose, the outer purpose, falls into place. By being true to life, being true to this moment, the now, life will become helpful, bringing to you whatever is most appropriate in terms of aligning your inner and outer purpose. This is when the synchronicity associated with following your bliss begins to occur and the world shows up for you, supporting you and providing for you.

There may be a period of uncertainty while your inner and outer purpose come into alignment, but that's the whole thing about life being a journey and not a destination--life is an adventure, full of the unknown and therefore full of possibility. When you embrace the uncertainty, you open the door for opportunities to arise. When you resist the uncertainty, you block the flow from making itself manifest in your experience. I loved when Oprah was talking about letting the light shine through you. An image came to me, that we are here to become translucent and in so doing, we let the light of consciousness or awareness or presence, whatever you choose to call it, shine through. When this light shines through us, then the light becomes fuel for whatever it is we are doing. That's when we have the full power of the universe available to us.

Eckhart spoke of his writing practice, and it's one that I want to take into my week and try out for myself. He said that it was never about the end result. If he'd been trying to write a great book whose purpose was to bring awakening to the planet, he would have been getting in his own way. Instead, he was coming from the place of inner stillness. He listened to the voice that told him it was time to write, and sat down with a pen, a notebook, and the stillness. When a thought came to him he would utilize his intellect to review this thought for its truth, for its quality. If it made sense, then he would write it down. If it didn't, then he would let it go and return to the stillness, allowing the next thought to come. It's a small moment, focused on the inner purpose, but when those moments stack, what unfolds leads to greatness. Take this attitude, this approach into everything you do this week and watch how it changes the work you are doing. Namaste.

Photo: "Autumn Stream," originally uploaded by Kimberly

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Tools for the journey

Nothing can stop the man with right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
~Thomas Jefferson

I've been focusing these past few months on the internal tools we have at our disposal to connect to Source and our inner wisdom, enabling us to embrace the guidance that is always available to us as we go through our life journey. Meditation, following your intuition, using a mantra, forgiveness, staying present--these are all powerful tools to help us on our path. And while nothing can replace that internal work and desire, you definitely don't have to go it alone. There's a whole world of external resources that can be very useful in providing guidance and confirmation that what we're receiving intuitively really is coming from our inner wisdom.

Community. Perhaps the most obvious, ubiquitous, and useful place to look is in other people. Whether it be an individual or a community, the people we encounter in our lives are gifts from the divine. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of supportive spiritual centers out there. My personal favorite is Sacred Center New York. August Gold is perhaps the most transformational teacher you will ever have the privilege to encounter, or at the very least, that I have discovered so far on my own journey. This Center has an energy that is lighting up the whole of New York City, expanding its reach further and further each year. Not close to New York? That's okay, there are many spiritual communities available to you. Religious Science International, United Centers for Spiritual Living, Unity, and Unitarian Universalist have churches all over the country that might appeal to you. There are also many independent churches, Zen centers, study groups, book clubs, even groups and workshops meeting at metaphysical bookstores. I trust you won't have to look very far before you find a spiritual group within your community that would welcome your participation and provide you with loving support for your journey.

Readers. I am relatively new to the concept of receiving a "reading." I never used to take the concept very seriously, possibly because I felt you needed to do it all on your own and possibly because I discounted the quality of the information that could be gleaned through this process. About a year ago, however, my ideas on this subject shifted, about the time that my ideas on most subjects were shifting. I heard a description of the readings that Caroline Reynolds does, talking about how she uses reading your chakras to help give you clarity and point you in a direction that will ultimately bring you a sense of fulfillment, and knew this was something I needed to do. Working with Caroline has provided not only guidance, but a sense of progress as my life begins to blossom in new and unexpected ways. She helps me to see how things are interconnected and where my blocks are so I can better focus the work I'm doing where it will have the most effect. Others I have worked with less extensively are Genevieve Vulser, an angel mediator, hypnotherapist, Reiki master, and spiritual teacher, and Belle Star, whose aura photography and readings guide her life coach practice.

I recommend working with someone whose work you are familiar with or who has helped a friend you trust. If this isn't an option, check your local metaphysical bookstore to see who they would recommend. Make sure that the type of reading they provide resonates with you, is in alignment with the kind of guidance you are looking for. The thing to keep in mind with any reader is that they can only speak to where you are today. Anyone who is claiming to be able to see the future is really picking up on where your energy is now and looking at the natural evolution of that energy if it were to continue unfolding exactly as it is today. However, the future is always malleable, we can always set new intentions and make new choices that alter the path we are on. The information they provide is just a tool to help you steer your journey in the direction you choose. Think of it as a compass, showing you where you are headed in relation to your true north, and use it accordingly.

Movement. Connecting to the life force energy through movement can be very powerful and rejuvenating. Yoga is a wonderful option, especially if you go with one of the more spirit-oriented schools of thought, as opposed to those who look at Yoga purely for its exercise benefits. I personally prefer Hatha Yoga, as it feels like a holistic approach to the mind-body connection. While I haven't yet had the pleasure of taking a class from him, the description I've heard of Ned Grant's classes is exactly the kind of yoga I would enjoy participating in. From his website: "Yoga can be considered to be a two-step process, in which the first step is the focus of the mind, and the second is the release of energy that emerges as a result of that focus. In Hatha Yoga, the focus begins with what we do with the breath and the body." Until I find a yogi like that in my neighborhood, I'm diving into my new love, Qigong. I get so much energy from this practice that I barely notice it is also exercise. I feel revitalized within the first few minutes of getting my Qi moving and its effects last throughout the day. If you're interested in an introduction to Qigong, I would recommend picking up one of Lee Holden's DVDs.

Cards. Cards are a great tool for receiving messages or gaining clarity on what is coming to you intuitively. I am loving my tarot cards these days and find this tool to be a great asset to my daily guidance. Once you learn to read tarot cards you can do readings for yourself or for others, or if you'd prefer you can find a reader to look at the cards for you. Also handy are message cards like angel cards or daily affirmation cards. Ask the universe for what you need to know today and allow your intuition to pick a card--the message you receive is usually a great reminder of where you need to place your attention today for best results.

Pendulums and Crystals. A recent (re)discovery for me is the power of stones and crystals. All products of the earth have energy, and many crystals amplify your own energy in different ways depending on the crystal. I've found a handful of different stones and crystals that I meditate with, each with their own energy. If I need a boost to my intuition, I use one, but if I'm looking to open my heart I use another. Crystals make great pendulums as well, which are excellent tools for refining intuitive messages. Start by asking your pendulum simple questions so you can begin to see how it responds with its yes, no, and maybe or don't know responses. Once you begin to develop a relationship with it, you can ask it questions you need clarity on and see which way it swings. It can take time for your confidence in this tool to grow, but the more confident you are, the more you can rely on its answers.

Sound. Having just spent a few days exploring the Globe Sound Healing Conference, I am especially aware of the ability of sound to open you up to a deeper connection to Source and a greater connection with your own inner wisdom. I had the pleasure of experiencing an alignment by a "crystal alchemist" my first morning at the conference. If you're ever in Mount Shasta, you will definitely want to look up Crystal Tones at Mount Shasta--their crystal bowls are amazing, producing vibration that sings to your soul. Another pleasure was exploring the "percussive sculpture" of Bruce Gray, whose drums and rattles feel like they are alive. These are true pieces of art as well as powerful ways to connect to that primeval rhythm within. Music of all shapes and sizes provides a way for me to experience the divine, regardless of how I'm feeling or where my thoughts are running. Experiment with different musical forms, both participating and listening, and see what works for you.

These are really just a handful of the tools that are available to you at any given time. The takeaway here for me is that the world has so much to offer you, so much support to give you, so many avenues for you to explore. Your job is not to walk down every path or try on every tool for size, but to explore enough so that you've found a few tools that work for you and be open to new tools as they show up for you. Whether its a new person coming into your life or guitar lessons or a beautiful deck of angel cards, these tools are here for our enrichment. They don't replace the guidance we receive from within, but they enhance it, providing us with the support of the universe's loving arms. Relax, surrender, and enjoy the ride. Namaste.

Photo: "Daimonji path," originally uploaded by Chris Gladis

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Throwing out the list

You know that feeling when you're aware of what you probably should be doing but you seem to be incapable of doing it? Suddenly anything and everything else feels super important, whether it's unloading the dishwasher or picking a piece of lint off your sweater. I suspect that's something we've all experienced at one time or another. For me, anyway, it manifests as a form of beating myself up, as even the presence of the word "should" suggests in my first sentence.

One of the challenges of having the appearance of so much free time in my life is that all of those things that I always wanted to do have now moved to the level of "things I should be doing" in my head. I have a list of "daily goals," which is really more like a daily task list. I swear, even if all I did was finish off this list everyday I'd probably feel overwhelmed. My morning practice alone has bloomed to the point where it takes a minimum of two hours to finish everything. Then there's three meals a day to cook and clean up after. I'm training for my Avon Walk, so there's walking or cross-training to be done, plus stretching and icing. I have a category for "coursework" that includes things like the Prosperity Game from Ask and It Is Given, the Attracting Genuine Abundance course I signed up for from DailyOM, and finishing up my A New Earth reading, watching, and writing. As I mentioned in my last post, I've started a Chinese medicine regimen, so I need to make sure I allow time to prepare the herbs in the morning and then remember to drink them after each meal, not to mention carving out time for my acupuncture and massage appointments. There is, of course, writing my daily blog post. And oh yeah, I'm also freelancing, so somewhere in there I should find time to both do my work and drum up new business. Phew.

While these are all worthy objectives for any given day, the problem lies in my being overwhelmed from the start. I'm practically already behind schedule when my feet hit the floor in the morning, and there's a voice at the back of my head that is telling me that if I'm not going to get it all done anyway, I might as well take my time. So instead of having a purposeful, flowing day filled with joy at the prospect of getting to live my life the way I always wanted to, I can end up experiencing a day full of stress, with never enough time to get anything done, and overflowing with distractions that I allow to take up my time instead of recognizing them as the unnecessary derailment that they really are.

So my goal for this week is to throw out the list, but perhaps more importantly to also throw out the distractions. I've shut all of my browser windows, streamlined my "to do list" to just those things I need reminders to complete, and shifted my focus to the present moment. Right now is the only moment that matters. And when I live this moment to its fullest, there is always plenty of time to get everything done. Care to join me in this adventure this week? Choose a new practice with me whereby you allow the universe to find its flow in your life, bringing your attention to where it is needed in each moment, allowing those daily tasks to unfold effortlessly. Experience what it is like to live from the place of awareness that is your true self, being truly present where you are, starting right here, right now, in this very moment. Namaste.

Photo: "let's dance!," originally uploaded by Tinou Bao

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Best laid plans

This week has left me wondering if it's possible to have jet lag without getting on a plane or traveling from one time zone to another. My return from vacation has left me a wee bit disoriented this week and I'm having to completely let go of the idea that I am "on top of" just about anything. Ultimately, this is a very good thing for me, releasing me from my sea of "shoulds" and allowing me to just be. However it does mean that my idea of returning to our regularly scheduled programming this week was a little premature.

The good news is, I've got a lot of fun and exciting stuff going on...

Chinese Medicine. A lot of my time this week has been taken up with the basics of getting started with a Chinese medicine regimen. I've gone to the clinic twice this week for acupuncture and massage and I'm on day two of my yummy and delicious (yes, that was sarcastic) herbs. It's all a lot more involved than I realized it was going to be when I signed on, but I really appreciate the holistic approach to wellness they take and feel like it dovetails nicely with my spirit-based approach. It feels like a way to release old patterns and behaviors and their effects on my body as I do the same with my mind.

Training Walks. As my walks get longer, more and more of my time is invested into my Avon Walk training. This weekend, I'm squeezing in a 14-miler on Sunday and a 7-miler on Monday. Even my weekday training is expanding, moving from 3 miles on Tuesdays and Thursdays to 4 miles. I'm still loving the process and just going with the flow, enjoying the ride, and trying not to focus too much on the time aspect.

Globe Sound Healing Conference. I was recently introduced to sound healing and discovered there's an institute in San Francisco that specializes in this concept. They have an annual conference that happens to be this weekend, and I managed to get myself on their mailing list in time to volunteer to work the conference in exchange for free admission. I am especially interested in anything having to do with voice and music, but really I find it all fascinating. I'm sure to learn a lot from this experience and I'll have much to share with you all next week.

Family Visit. Next Thursday I head to Georgia to experience some true jet lag, traveling to visit my family there. I don't know how much internet access I'll have while I'm gone, but I am sure I will have plenty of stories when I return. Spending time with my family is wonderful on many levels, and provides me ample opportunities to practice what I'm learning. Wish me luck.

And, as always, I have a lot of things I want to share, but I will limit myself to just one today. CNN recently published a great article of Martha Beck's from a back issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, entitled, "How to feast on joy every day." In a world where dieting is ubiquitous, it was wonderful to read this article about truly feasting. Let me leave you with the thought that concludes this article:

"If you have a choice between a feast of love and any other option, go with love. Compared with other activities, love-feasts will mess up your life, complicate your career, wear you out, make you crazy. But I guarantee that when you look back over the time you've spent on earth, the feasts of love will be the events you'll remember most joyfully, the experiences that will make you glad you have lived."

Photo: "Distilled Moment," originally uploaded by Angelo Juan Ramos

A New Earth -- The Discovery of Inner Space

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the eighth week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

I have to say, while I enjoyed taking a week off from my usual routine, I really did miss diving deeper with Eckhart and Oprah and A New Earth. It's good to be back!

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
I was so excited that they were talking about Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor! Apparently Oprah is having her on the Soul Series radio show after A New Earth is all over. If you haven't yet seen the video that's been going around, take a few minutes to treat yourself to a viewing. Really inspirational stuff. Apparently, she thinks that your right brain IS the consciousness, the awareness, the presence that Eckhart talks about. It's all connected!

This, too, shall pass
One of my favorite expressions that you run into on the spiritual path just about everywhere, really, is "This too shall pass." It's an incredibly powerful concept that allows you to let go of the outcome of any experience. Most people find it soothing it times of stress or sorrow, a reminder that tomorrow is another day full of new possibilities, but don't like to apply it to the happy times, seeing it as a reminder that the joy can't last and feeling like it's a bit of a buzz kill. The thing is, nothing lasts, and once you truly come to understand this, you can truly accept the present moment without judgment, without expectation. It is an expression of true freedom, allowing you to enjoy this moment and not think about what is going to come next, relieving you of any sense of dread or worry, enhancing the joy and pleasure.

Spiritual does not mean passive
A young man was asking about how one stays present and follows one's true purpose but still manages to pay the bills on time and take care of the mechanics of life on this planet. Oprah really got into this one, I think because it's a fairly common misunderstanding, this idea that somehow being spiritual means we're supposed to be passive. It's akin to the misconstrued idea that if we all followed our bliss then everyone would want to be an artist and no one would be a garbage collector. Truly, it's about aligning yourself with what resonates with you and allowing things to flow from that place. Oprah is a perfect example of how it works--she is someone who has shown up completely as herself and the universe has said, yes, please, more of that! She did not sit on top of a mountain and meditate and expect things to come to her, however. She took action, showed up, and allowed the universe to flow from that point. The same is true for everybody. You go to work, staying fully present to Who You Are and aligning your action with what resonates for you and things will flow for you. In Religious Science there's a saying, "Treat and move your feet." It essentially means pray, set your intention, and then get out there and stir things up and see what falls out. Try it out yourself--take steps in the direction of your dreams, stay present and connected to your true self, and see what happens.

Everything is amazing
Towards the end of the webinar, one of the callers was talking about how present she's felt being on vacation but that she's worried when she returns home she'll fall back into her old patterns. Oprah's response really stuck with me. She was basically saying you just have to be really conscious about bringing this work into your daily life, making sure you take the time to practice awareness. But then she said, when you really put this into practice, EVERYTHING is amazing. It's not just that nature is beautiful and the sound of a child laughing is joyful and whatnot, it's that even just the act of breathing in and breathing out takes on a whole new level of consciousness and presence that just simply BEING is amazing. Wow. When she said that, I really got it, really felt it for that moment. What a way to live, to truly live your life. And you don't have to go anywhere to find it--it is always available to you, within you, right here, right now.

Homework
So my assignment to myself and to anyone else who is interested in giving it a try is to practice Active TV watching. Eckhart talks about this in the book as well as on the webinar. The idea is to not allow watching TV to make you unconscious. Pick and choose when and what you're going to watch--don't watch TV for TV's sake, but make sure that what you're watching is something you truly want to watch. While you sit there, practice staying conscious throughout, feeling the aliveness within your body, staying aware of what is passing through your mind. Don't allow yourself to glaze over--move your body periodically and look away from the television from time to time, allowing your gaze to fall on something tangible within the room. Use this time to practice staying present instead of using it as a time to escape. Good luck, let me know how it goes! Namaste.

Photo: "inner space," originally uploaded by Wendy

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Aldous Huxley quote

The spiritual journey does not consist in arriving at a new destination where a person gains what he did not have, or becomes what he is not. It consists in the dissipation of one's own ignorance concerning one's self and life, and the gradual growth of that understanding which begins the spiritual awakening. The finding of God is a coming to one's self.

~Aldous Huxley

Notes from Jenn's World

Just a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Happy Anniversary!

Sean and I are celebrating our second anniversary this weekend with a mini escape to Point Reyes. We have a little cottage on Tomales Bay--it's wee, but so peaceful and beautiful. We had dinner at a wonderful spot in Point Reyes Station last night, The Station House Cafe, which I would highly recommend the next time you're in the area. This morning, I woke up early and went for a walk on the little beach off of our deck, watching the sun rise up over the hills across the bay. While I was out there I meditated and did a little Qigong, experiencing such a deep feeling of connection and sense that all is right with the world. Today, we'll probably head over to Point Reyes National Seashore and do a little exploring on their trails. We spent a weekend up here back in 2000, but it was during the rainy season, gray and damp and cold. It feels good to see it in a different light this time.

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

I feel so blessed to be participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this year. Yesterday I did my first "official" Training Walk, joining the Urban Dog Walkers team for one of their two 9-mile loops through Redwood City. I parked a mile and a half away from the starting point so I would completely my full 12 miles in one fell swoop. The energy of that training walk was so motivating--a large group of friendly, welcoming, and kind people, joining together to support each other and the cause. There was pink everywhere you looked, and I realized it's time for me to start unfurling my inner pink! While I will continue to savor my 3- and 4-mile walks by myself, I am looking forward to continuing to train with people for these longer walks. In the meantime, I continue to be blown away by everyone's generosity--I am up to 41% of my personal goal and 82% of my required donations with 11 weeks to go. Thank you!

Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

We return home tomorrow afternoon. For Sean, that means going back to work on Tuesday after a much needed 2-day break. Working weekends has been taking its toll, so it's especially good that we've been able to unwind for a few days. For me, it means that I will return to my regular blogging schedule. Look for me to post on weeks 8 & 9 of A New Earth this week. I am also looking forward to a busy freelancing week. I've had to postpone the Spiritual Fitness class, but I know that just means the timing wasn't right. I'm shifting my focus now towards a monthly Abraham / Law of Attraction group as well as fleshing out a book idea that I'm working on with a friend. I already feel rejuvenated and look forward to getting to work!

So what's going on with you? What are you working on these days? How are you taking time to unwind and reconnect? I'd love to hear about all the flow and synchronicity that is happening for you. Namaste.