Adjustment

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
~James M. Barrie

The past couple of weeks have been a wild ride. As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I had a sudden shift in the work I was doing from very little to quite a bit in a matter of days. Not only did several freelance projects come up, but I started working part-time for the Hoffman Institute. At the same time, my mother was arriving from Connecticut last week and this weekend was the last of the long training walks for my upcoming Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. Today is the first day in almost two weeks that hasn't been absolutely chock full of activity. While I am definitely enjoying the respite, it also gives me an opportunity to review some ideas about adjustment periods that have been rattling around in my brain of late.

I used to have the idea that when there was a major change in my life, it was a good idea to extend it to include other changes as well. For example, when starting a new job, I would think it was a good time to start going to the gym or perhaps to make a shift in diet. What I've since learned is that the stresses combine almost exponentially, and often not only does the gym or diet fall by the wayside but it is replaced with equivalently unhealthy behaviors like eating whole pints of ice cream in one sitting. Instead, I've found that thinking in terms of moderation works much better, and from the place of relative relaxation I can be much more present throughout my day, enabling me to possibly park farther away from the office or make a healthier choice at lunch. Somewhat unintentionally I can begin to move closer to my goal because I've given myself the space I need to make the adjustment to the new job.

That idea of staying present is key to not just surviving an adjustment period but coming out of one completely on top. The change gives you an opportunity to pay attention in an easier, more natural way. Going back to the example of the new job, it isn't the same ol' commute, the same ol' coworkers, the same ol' lunch spots. There's an opportunity to see the world through new eyes precisely because things are new. It is significantly easier to create a habit of seeing the positive in, say, a commute before a part of you is convinced that the commute is miserable.

While I haven't been absolutely perfect at this the past couple of weeks, this idea of staying present, taking things as they come, has gone a long way toward enabling me to stay relatively productive, centered, and grounded even everything around me has felt like a whirlwind. And that doesn't mean I'm not tired, because I am. But I'm still excited about the work that I'm doing, still looking forward to seeing what evolves out of this new set of experiences that have come my way, and still here, being me, putting one foot in front of the other, living each day as fully as I can. Namaste.

Photo: "swirly game adjusted," originally uploaded by Robert Judge

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Don Miguel Ruiz, the third agreement

3rd Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Things that make you go hmmm...

So many very cool articles and videos have come my way this week. As one friend mentioned, you can actually FEEL the shift happening right now, in this very moment. Very cool stuff. I'd like to share just two of the many inbound messages I've received along with a poem that feels very appropriate to the times from my dear "friend" Hāfez.

One Minute Shift
The Institute of Noetic Sciences has a website with one-minute videos dedicated to the concept of "shift." It's part of their Shift In Action program, which I just happen to be a member of. I viewed a handful of these videos today -- you really can't go wrong, they're great little slices of inspiration -- and my favorite was one by Marianne Williamson talking about how you don't need a majority to change the world, you just need 11%.



Obama as Lightworker
I really never thought I'd see the day when a political candidate of any kind was called a lightworker, especially not a presidential candidate. And while yes, it's the San Francisco Chronicle, and yes, it's an editorial, it was still pretty amazing reading this article. What do you think, are you a believer?

Awake Awhile
by Hāfez, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Awake awhile.

It does not have to be
Forever,
Right now.

One step upon the Sky’s soft skirt
Would be enough.

Hafiz,
Awake awhile.
Just one True moment of Love
Will last for days.

Rest all your elaborate plans and tactics
For Knowing Him,
For they are all just frozen spring buds
Far,
So far from Summer’s Divine Gold.

Awake, my dear.
Be kind to your sleeping heart.
Take it out into the vast fields of Light
And let it breathe.

Say,
“Love,
give me back my wings.
Lift me,
lift me nearer.”

Say to the sun and moon,
say to our dear Friend,

"I will take You up now, Beloved,
On that wonderful Dance You promised!”

Photo: "Glimpse," originally uploaded by Bev Sykes

The power of perspective

Byron Katie's "The Work" brings inquiry to your thoughts and enables you to free yourself of the stress and frustration and depression they bring. Eckhart Tolle calls our attention to the three levels of every situation: what is happening, your reaction to what is happening, and your awareness of both of these levels. Abraham talks about bringing awareness to your thoughts when you're not feeling great and choosing a thought that feels better. Lately, for me, I've been practicing my awareness by asking whether it's the situation itself or my thoughts about the situation that are making me feel the way I do.

It's such a simple way of looking at things, a small adjustment, really, in the larger mix of how we view the world, yet it holds such power. It is playing a huge role in how I am approaching my work this week. This time last week I had a single freelancing project I was working on, with the remainder of my time being invested into my own personal growth and various aspects of my Avon Walk training. By Thursday, I was working on a book project, had a fast-approaching deadline on a relatively large freelance project, and I was talking with the folks at the Hoffman Institute about working for them part-time. This weekend I walked over 30 miles and by the time Monday rolled around, I was exhausted and wondering how on earth I was going to fit all of these moving parts into a cohesive life.

This one awareness practice turned my energy around. I quickly realized that it wasn't the situation that was causing me stress, it was the way I was thinking about the situation. I've known for months now that I have more than enough time to get everything done yet I still feel time pressure. That isn't reality, that's just my perception of reality. So I called myself on my thoughts, noticed they were just thoughts, and stopped accepting those thoughts as the truth. And then I got to work. At the end of the day, I was able to get everything done I needed to, and then some, with time to spare. My stress was gone, replaced with a sense of peace and trust in the process, which felt MUCH better than the alternative!

So today, as I prepare to go work in an office for two days, I have a choice about how I look at this work. I can either see it as taking away from my precious time for myself, taking away from my time to get other work done, taking away from my time to train and all of the wonderful chores that go along with training, or I can realize that these thoughts cause stress, a stress that isn't necessary or useful in any way. Instead, I am choosing to see this work as an opportunity for me to get out into the world and interact with people, using what I've learned over the past few months and applying it to a more traditional style of work. With this perspective, I am looking forward to my day today, looking forward spending time with people engaged in a different sort of activity.

This is the power of a single practice. What thoughts are causing you stress today? Can you see a way to look at the situation from a different perspective, one that doesn't cause you stress? Have some fun playing with this concept today and see what you learn about yourself and how your thoughts affect your day. Namaste.

Photo: "Peaceful," originally uploaded by Tony Lam

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Don Miguel Ruiz, the second agreement

2nd Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

A life worth living

"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
~Charles Kingsley

What an absolutely amazing week. As I mentioned yesterday, it's like the clouds parted and the light came through, shifting my energy from hazy, listless, chaotic to clear, enthusiastic, on purpose. There are many aspects to that breakthrough in energy, but I would have to put people at the top of my list. This week has been chock full of incredible conversation with a variety of people. The common theme? How to live life more fully.

Whether you're spiritually oriented or not, you have probably become aware of the energy shift happening around "work." A friend I was speaking with this morning considers it a generational shift -- although I have seen it happening with people of all ages, there is definitely a higher concentration within the late 20's to early 30's age bracket. It seems as though more and more people are shifting away from the more traditional perspective where work was something that took up the vast majority of your time, wasn't necessarily something you enjoyed but it paid the bills and felt secure, and someday you would get to retire and do all the things you've always wanted to do.

The new concept of work has more to do with creating a life worth living. People are beginning to recognize the value of building a life that includes doing what you're passionate about, placing the priority on living and not working. It doesn't mean that work isn't valuable, but work for these people often isn't just a job. They're doing what they love and getting paid to do it. If it doesn't pay very much then they might pick up a side job to help make ends meet, but not at the sacrifice of living their lives. It may seem as though the mid-life crisis is just starting younger and younger, but interestingly enough, it doesn't hit crisis point for most of these people. When you wake up at 50 and ask yourself what you've done with your life, discovering that you haven't been really living is a true crisis. When you have that realization at 28, the transition is a lot more painless.

To me, it's just so exciting to have people popping up all over my life who have recognized they have a choice about how they live and are exercising that choice to bring them greater joy. How about you -- what choices are you making in your life today? Do you feel as though you're living your life or are you on a roller coaster spiraling completely out of control? What small changes can you make today to shift that energy and make living more of a priority? The first step may be challenging, but once you begin to shift that energy, you'll be amazed at where it can lead you. Namaste.

Photo: "Light Wave...," originally uploaded by Kıvanç

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When Death Comes

I feel like the clouds parted and let the light shine brightly into my life today. I had been feeling untethered, but today I am full of newfound purpose. Thinking about the Anais Nin quote, "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom," I felt drawn to my lovely book, Risking Everything. The first poem speaks to today's enthusiasm for living life to its fullest. Namaste.

When Death Comes
by Mary Oliver

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measles-pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

Photo: "Daisy Refraction," originally uploaded by Audrey

Notes from Jenn's World

Just a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

Only 40 days to go! I am absolutely loving participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this year. Of course, I did just have a short training weekend -- only 9 miles on Saturday and 4 on Sunday. Ask me again next weekend after I've walked 20 miles on Saturday and 9 on Sunday -- it might be a different story! Actually, it's been a wonderful experience, even on the long and hot days. It's a testament to the fact that you can do anything, truly anything, especially when you have the love and support of those around you. My team, the Urban Dog Walkers, have been amazing, so much fun to train with and just an incredible support system. They make this look easy! The fundraising appears to have slowed down, so I lowered my personal goal to $2,200. As of this writing, I'm 77% of the way to my goal, 94% of the way to my requirement. I've raised $1,689 of the $1,800 I need in order to walk. Do you want to be the angel who kicks me up over $1,800?

Looking for work

As much as I have been loving watching things unfold these past few months, my income has not yet grown to the level that I can afford to live off of. So I am expanding my net, looking for work of all types. While I would still prefer a part-time gig or more freelance work, I am open to full-time work for the right organization. If I can work from home, the office could be literally anywhere in the world. Otherwise, it would need to be fairly close to home, i.e. the peninsula south of San Francisco. If you know of anyone looking for a project manager, writer, jack-of-all-trades, or really any interesting position they're willing to train for, please holler. I am certain that the right work is out there, and I'd bet they're looking for me right now, too!

Tarot readings

One of my favorite things that has come up out of this self-discovery process are my tarot cards. As explained on osho.com, the Osho Zen Tarot is not about deepening your understanding of the past or seeing into the future, it's about gaining clarity about the present moment. Based on Zen wisdom, these cards provide insight into what is happening in your life right now and seeing whether or not that is in alignment with your goals. I've found that while I can receive messages through many mediums, these cards speak to me with a clarity and consistency that I haven't found anywhere else. While I've mostly used them to do readings for myself, I've started branching out into readings for friends. Interested in receiving a reading yourself? I'm offering complimentary readings right now as part of my practice. I'm able to do long-distance readings for those I know well; otherwise, it would need to be in person. Let me know if you're interested!

So what's going on with you? What goals are you working towards these days? What new things are you exploring? I'd love to hear about all the flow and synchronicity that is happening for you as your life's journey continues to unfold. Namaste.

Don Miguel Ruiz, the first agreement

1st Agreement: Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip with others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Do nothing

"What I call “doing the dishes” is the practice of loving the task in front of you. Your inner voice guides you all day long to do simple things such as brush your teeth, drive to work, call your friend, or do the dishes. Even though it’s just another story, it’s a very short story, and when you follow the direction of the voice, the story ends. We are really alive when we live as simply as that—open, waiting, trusting, and loving to do what appears in front of us now . . . What we need to do unfolds before us, always—doing the dishes, paying the bills, picking up the children’s socks, brushing our teeth. We never receive more than we can handle, and there is always just one thing to do. Whether you have ten dollars or ten million dollars, life never gets more difficult than that."
~Byron Katie

My left brain, intellect, masculine side is still stir crazy this week. All it wants is to do do do do do. Yet the messages I'm getting from the Universe are: There's nothing to do. There's only being. Something wonderful is being born from this stillness. All you have to do is to sit still and allow it to come.

One would think this would be a wonderful message, something to rejoice at. Don't we spend most of our lives wishing we had more time to relax, to be at peace? But my body and mind are just itching to be active. I've felt listless, uncomfortable, even lost. Why is that, I wonder? Where is the fear in just being? I don't have any answers today. Really, I think even the questions are just my mind trying another tactic to get me to be active.

Instead, my practice today is simple: breathe, and be aware that I am breathing; eat, and be aware that I am eating; listen, and be aware that I am listening; live, and be aware that I am alive; see the world around me, enjoying it through each of my senses; don't do anything. Namaste.

Photo: "PEACE," originally uploaded by Alex

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The Sonnets to Orpheus

The Sonnets to Orpheus, Part Two, XII

by Ranier Maria Rilke

Want the change. Be inspired by the flame
where everything shines as it disappears.
The artist, when sketching, loves nothing so much
as the curve of the body as it turns away.

What locks itself in sameness has congealed.
Is it safer to be gray and numb?
What turns hard becomes rigid
and is easily shattered.

Pour yourself out like a fountain.
Flow into the knowledge that what you are seeking
finishes often at the start, and, with ending, begins.

Every happiness is the child of a separation
it did not think it could survive. And Daphne, becoming a laurel,
dares you to become the wind.

Reconnecting

"When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."
~Will Rogers

We all have those moments, days, weeks where it feels like we can't keep up, we aren't centered or grounded, we're separated from Source. I don't know about you, but when it happens to me, I have this sense that it will require a grand gesture to turn it around. Missed a few days of meditation? Then I must need an hour-long meditation plus two more hours of spiritual practice to catch back up. And then when I don't have the time or make the time for such a long practice, I judge myself as lacking and sink deeper into the darkness.

The thing is, of course, we're never completely closed off from Source and no matter how disconnected we feel, reconnection is literally only a breath away. Once the awakening has begun, once you've had a taste of the experience of your deep connection to Source, it doesn't take much to bring you back there. Here are a few simple tools you can use throughout your day to either help you remain connected or reconnect you as needed:

Breathing. We are constantly breathing, in and out, all day long, each and every day. It is something we are generally unconscious of, but try bringing your consciousness to this natural process, recognizing with each breath that you are alive in this moment, right now. Do this for a few moments or a few minutes, depending on where you are and how much time you have. It's amazing how this simple technique can bring you quickly back to yourself, to you as observer, as awareness, to the now.

Be Here Now. The key to happiness is to stay present in this moment. I find that a simple mantra can work wonders in helping me remain present when I find my mind wandering into past and future events. I've been using "Be Here Now" recently, although any mantra will work. I've also been playing with the idea that whatever I am doing right now, it is my life's purpose to be doing it, and so I remind myself of that as I work. It is a great way to turn any activity into a meditation and almost always brings me up out of whatever dark thoughts were trying to take hold in my mind into the space of light and peace that is always available in the now.

Music. Listening to music can be a quick and easy way to reconnect. Our bodies are energy and we are all vibrating. Music is also a vibration, and when the two vibrations meet, we can experience a deep harmony. I know for me there are a few tracks that from the first note I feel myself transported. If you don't already know what works for you in this way, I recommend exploring the many examples that are available these days developed with the intention of positively affecting people's vibration. My current favorite is Jonathan Goldman's Waves of Light, although I also enjoy the Brainwave Suite and the second track of Kelly Howell's Retrieve Your Destiny. The Globe Institute for Sound Therapy & Healing is a great resource as well. They have a collection of CDs available in their store with demos for you to sample. When you visit their website, they have a selection playing, "Awakening," that instantly transports me, and I often leave the page open in the background while I'm working so that I can stay in that sense of the divine no matter what I'm doing.

Nature. If you have a wee bit more time, try connecting with the natural world. If there's a park or a forest nearby, go for a short walk. Try taking off your shoes, feeling the grass or dirt beneath your feet. Connecting with the earth directly is a quick and easy way to literally ground yourself through the earth's energy. When you don't have nature readily at hand, try observing the flora and fauna around you. Flowers in a vase, a house plant, a pet, a bird outside your window -- take a few moments to really experience these examples of life that can be found just about everywhere, using each of your senses. You may feel how they radiate energy just like you do. Or you may just notice their simple beauty. Whatever comes up for you, the natural world provides so many examples of the essence of life that it can become a great way for you to reconnect with your own sense of that essence within you.

The key here is really it only takes a moment to remember what it is we already know--that we are one with the Source of all life and that the only moment that truly is is this one. When we come into that awareness, we are in contact with the power of the universe, with the divine. Try playing with a few of these tools this week, maybe by setting up a reminder alarm to go off a few times throughout the day or by using them when you start to feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness. I think you'll find it only takes a moment to turn your day around. Good luck, have fun, and let me know how it goes! Namaste.

Photo: "That my life would depend on the morning sun," originally uploaded by ThunderChild the Magnificent

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A New Earth -- A New Earth

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the tenth and final week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through--listen to this music."
~Hafiz, as translated by Daniel Ladinsky

For whatever reason--resistance, the timing of the Universe is perfect, etc.--it has taken me over a week (two, if you count my trying to watch it on the plane to Georgia) to watch the final week of the A New Earth web event. And I'm kind of glad it did. It's given me time to really soak this one up, to savor it, linger over it, which seems appropriate for a finale. Eckhart was his usual jovial self but Oprah seemed a little sad to have it all come to an end. I look forward to watching her continue to grow and unfold, to see where life continues to lead her.

My favorite part
I loved the way Oprah put the "what to call God" problem. She said something to the effect of, Spirit doesn't have an ego so it doesn't get hung up on what it's called. Yes!

How to stay present
At one point Oprah shared that her mantra (my word, not hers) is, "Be here, be now." She repeats it to herself as a reminder to be present. Mine is very similar, "Be Here Now." I'm not sure why it needs to be capitalized, but that is how it shows up in my head. It's almost like the words get dropped into my mind one by one, each word their own reminder. Be. Here. Now.

Growing older, growing wiser
One of the most striking concepts in this chapter for me was how all of this applies to growing old. As I'm sure we all do, I know many people who have so identified with what they DO that growing old has been a tragedy for them. Each responsibility they can no longer manage, each task they can no longer perform, is like an arrow through their heart. The process is nothing but pain, nothing but regret, and they spend their time either complaining, focusing solely on what's wrong, or lost in nostalgia. However for others, they begin to recognize that there is so much more to life than just the doing. It is through having the doing reduced in their life that they recognize the presence and importance of being. They grow lighter, freer, and end up with a luminescent quality. These individuals have been rarer in my life, but are such lights when you come across them. I know which way I'd rather be, but I don't want to wait until I'm old--I want to start today! (See the poem I posted this morning for further exploration of this subject.)

What you do is always secondary
There was just something about the way this concept was reiterated in this webcast that got me. What you do is always secondary; how you do it is primary. You want to know how to fulfill your destiny? Do whatever it is you are doing, no matter how seemingly large or small, completely and utterly consciously, full of presence. No what where you are, whether you're mailing a package at the post office, waiting tables at a restaurant, washing up after breakfast, bring your Presence with you. That's what showing up and fulfilling your destiny looks like. Placing the plate down on the table in front of your customer with full awareness, consciousness, presence, affects everyone around you. It doesn't matter what it is you are doing--if you are doing it consciously, you are bringing more Presence into the world and playing your role in the greater awakening of the planet.

Goals and visions
This is one of those concepts I've been working with for over 15 years, but I feel like it was presented to me brand new. Your goal, your vision, is not something "out there" that is in the future. It lives within you as if it were already a reality, because on some level it already is. It isn't a goal you are projecting yourself into, something you will reach someday. It isn't something coming from a place of neediness or scarcity, it is coming from a place of fullness, the way it would feel if you already had it. Because it is something that already exists within you, ready to be born into form in your life. Eckhart talked about writing The Power of Now in this fashion. He sensed that there was a book within him that had already been written. His job, then, was just to allow this already completed construct to come out of him, to manifest itself. This is where true power lies, because all power exists in the present moment. It is about always focusing on this step, just this step. Whatever this moment is, it is a step on the journey.

Acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm
The key point to this chapter (to me, anyway) is that it is time to choose to do everything with acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm. If you cannot operate from one of these three modalities, you are not in alignment with the present moment, with yourself, with life, and you are causing yourself and/or those around you suffering. So the question to always ask yourself is, what is my relationship with the present moment? Am I okay with this moment, friendly with it? If yes, then you are empowered. If no, then ask yourself what you can do to move towards acceptance. It may be that you need to stop doing whatever it is you're doing, step aside and into something that you can accept. Or you may be able to find acceptance just through becoming aware of where you are, consciously shifting your attention towards recognizing that this moment is what it is. You don't have to enjoy changing a tire, but when you accept that the tire is flat and changing it is what needs to be done, as opposed to resisting it, cursing it, getting upset with it, etc., then you will be able to find peace in the experience.

I loved what Eckhart had to say about enjoyment, that it will replace wanting. Wanting comes from a place of lack, and when you get whatever it is you were wanting, you feel empty and unfulfilled. Enjoyment, however, leaves you feeling full. It brings empowerment to what you do, flowing through you and allowing creativity to be born in what you are doing. Joy does not come from what you do, from another person, from outside of you in any way--it comes from within, flowing out of you into the world around you.

So my exercise for this week, and yours too, if you so choose, is to pay attention to where I am and see if I can shift the energy. If I feel like I'm in resistance, fighting the moment, then it is time for me to move into acceptance. If it's something I'm already able to accept, then I can make a game out of it, find a way to turn that acceptance into enjoyment. And if it's something I'm already able to enjoy, then I can look for that extra something that reminds me this moment is a step towards manifesting my vision and allow enthusiasm to come into play. The new earth already exists within us. Our job now is to allow it to come through us, to be made manifest in form in our lives. Namaste.

Photo: "Dream," originally uploaded by Jan McLaughlin

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When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

I was reminded of this wonderful poem this morning, one I had the pleasure of being introduced to as a teenager and, when I've remembered, one I've taken to heart.

Warning
by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Photo: "embrace the purple," originally uploaded by Claudia A. De La Garza

Bodhidharma quote

When mortals are alive, they worry about death. When they're full, they worry about hunger. Theirs is the Great Uncertainty. But sages don't consider the past. And they don't worry about the future. Nor do they cling to the present. And from moment to moment they follow the Way.

~Bodhidharma

Living with uncertainty

This past week has been such a good reminder for me that life is what happens when you're making other plans. My overdeveloped intellectual, masculine, left-brain side of me has been absolutely writhing with impatience as I've essentially accomplished nothing that I set out to accomplish. I had all these plans for how I was going to get back on track, or even better, how I wasn't going to get thrown off track in the first place by my trip to Georgia. My intellect was already expressing disappointment with me that I hadn't been blogging regularly and so I downloaded the 10th A New Earth webinar to watch on the plane with the intention that I would even post my comments from Georgia without missing a beat. The universe must have been laughing at me, for when I turned on my laptop at 30,000 feet the file was gone. All attempts to watch the webinar since I've been home have been derailed by everything from computer failure to 100 degree heat.

I've had similar experiences with most of the rest of my too long to-do list to the point where I just have to relax, laugh, and say, Okay, what do you want from me? When I sit still and listen, I receive a gentle response that comes from the spiritual, feminine, right-brain side of me reminding me just to be, to let go, to take care of myself, to be myself, and all the rest of it will fall into place. I'm reminded that now is the time for me to relax into the mystery of life, to learn to live with uncertainty, to focus on BEING instead of doing. This is my gift both to myself and to the world, because through being I can become what I came here to be, which really is just simply ME.

My life has always been fairly well planned. I didn't have a sense of what I'd be doing 5 or 10 or 30 years from now, but I had a feel for the rhythm of it, for the texture of it. My ambitions would take me far in my work and I would be very successful. I believed in the common wisdom of climbing the corporate ladder, using my current job to get a better job, working hard so that I would be well rewarded. This was my DOINGness, my masculine energy, my left-brain intellect at play. But I was never happy in my work, never happy with the rewards, never happy with the success. It all felt empty and without purpose. I knew there was more to life than what I came to think of as "making other people rich." I knew that my true purpose lay in a different direction, but this energy was so strong in me that I couldn't escape it.

I left that world a little over 7 months ago, and it feels like I've been in a retraining mode all these months. It's almost like I've been in physical therapy, strengthening my right-brain so that it can at least find a balance with my left-brain. In some ways, I've had to swing the pendulum pretty far in the opposite direction to get the energy shaken up enough that a balance can occur, and I may need to live from a place of BEING for a while yet before a balance is possible. I'm learning how to live my life without a plan. That doesn't mean I don't have a vision--in fact if anything my vision is much clearer, much stronger than it ever was before. But I'm not caught up in "how" I'm going to get there. My focus is on allowing a little bit more of the mystery to unfold each day, enjoying the ride, having fun with the process, finding peace in the present moment.

Are you at peace with the mystery? Can you find peace in the uncertainty? No matter how much we plan, how little uncertainty we think there is in our lives, life really is what happens when we are making other plans. Just like the present moment is the only one that is, life is nothing but uncertainty. We do not know what the next minute or hour or day or month will bring. When we learn to be at peace with this truth, we can truly appreciate where we are in this moment, and we can make room for BEING in our lives and begin to pave the way for what is truly important in our lives, begin to live our lives as fully and richly as possible, begin to be Who We Really Are. Namaste.

Photo: "What does this picture mean to you?," originally uploaded by chema.foces

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I am Life's Anchor

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are powerful beyond measure, and as Marianne Williamson says, it is our greatest fear. There is safety and comfort in conformity, in staying small, however there is no truth, no passion, no divinity. To find these things we must expand into Who We Really Are, stand up and be seen for the unique, individualized expressions of Life that each of us is at the core of our being.

This morning I was told of an exercise that August Gold has been using lately in her classes at Sacred Center New York. I've been playing with it today and I love how powerful it is and yet how playful it is. The truth I've recently come to know about myself is that I am Peaceful, Powerful, and Playful, so it isn't surprising that this exercise speaks to me. I find that it connects me with that larger truth of my being that I am only just beginning to let myself see, let alone the rest of the world. There is no place to hide within this exercise, but because it is fun, I am able to get out of my own way and let it flow. Here's how it works:

You take the alphabet and create an affirmation around each of the 26 letters. Begin each affirmation with "I am Life's . . ." and then insert a word the begins with that letter of the alphabet. You can use any word that feels good in place of Life--Source, God, the Universe, Divine Intelligence, etc. If something unusual comes up that doesn't instantly make sense, play with it for a bit and see where it leads you. For example, "I am Life's Dandelion," might not be immediately clear, but if you let it unfold you might get, "I am Life's Dandelion, spreading the seeds of truth wherever I go."

You might be surprised at what comes up for you, which concepts make you uncomfortable and which ones resonate immediately. But remember, the truth of Who You Are is powerful beyond measure. Let go, have a little fun with it, and see where it leads you. Namaste.

My first set:

I am Life's Anchor, connecting the divine to the earth.
I am Life's Basin, collecting all wisdom that flows my way.
I am Life's Caterpillar, about to become a beautiful butterfly.
I am Life's Dancing Queen.
I am Life's Expanding consciousness.
I am Life's Friend, opening my heart to all who cross my path.
I am Life's Guide, sharing what I've learned through my life's exploration.
I am Life's Hymn, expressing my joy through song.
I am Life's Imagination.
I am Life's Jenny Boo Boo, bringing joy and playfulness wherever I go.
I am Life's Kick-ass Slickrock Woman, capable of doing anything or going anywhere I so choose.
I am Life's Looking glass, reflecting Love and Light back into the world.
I am Life's Magic carpet ride, transporting myself and others into the magic of the world around us.
I am Life's Nowhere (now here).
I am Life's Open book, showing up as 100% myself with nothing to hide.
I am Life's Piecrust, ready to be filled with all the yummy goodness life has to offer.
I am Life's Qi, allowing the energy of the universe to flow through me.
I am Life's Revealer, healing through revealing the truth of the divinity within.
I am Life's Superball, always bouncing back.
I am Life's Tulip, blossoming beautifully.
I am Life's Umbrella, finding joy even in the hardest rain.
I am Life's Vibrant vitality.
I am Life's Well-being.
I am Life's X ray, seeing through the appearances to find the gift in every situation.
I am Life's Yin and yang, balancing my masculine and feminine energies.
I am Life's Zigzag--my path may not always be straight, but I know that life's a journey not a destination.

Photo: "joy," originally uploaded by Martin Talbot

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Heat wave

It's hot. There's really no other word for it. I'm sure people who live in Texas and Vegas would find this comfortable, but I am a fully acclimated San Franciscan and it is hot. It never dropped below 80 degrees in my apartment last night and we're supposed to have highs near 100 today. I've been trying to catch back up this week, but it's been tough. When the temperature soars, my energy plummets. So new plan--today I'm using my morning hours to be active and I'll spend my afternoon in air conditioning, exploring places like the library and the mall to their best advantage. One of these days I'll get back on track, but in the meantime, I'm using being off-routine to help bring any resurfacing old thought patterns off their normal routines as well. I'm practicing what I preach, recognizing that any situation can be turned around and found to be positive. Wish me luck!

I'd like to leave you with a little inspiration that came to me this week via email. It's a geeky self-improvement message--right up my alley and hopefully yours as well. Namaste.

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let' s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge andResentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error: Program not running on internal components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don' t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Photo: "Stay cool," originally uploaded by Alexander Kaiser

Tibetan Book of the Dead quote

Remember the clear light, the pure clear white light from which everything in the universe comes, to which everything in the universe returns; the original nature of your own mind. The natural state of the universe unmanifest. Let go into the clear light, trust it, merge with it. It is your own true nature, it is home.

~Tibetan Book of the Dead

Coming home

I know it's been said before (and I'm sure more eloquently), but the best thing about traveling is coming home. I just returned from 5 days in Georgia visiting family in Atlanta, Rome, and Marietta. As wonderful as it was to see everybody, it is so very good to be back home again. It was absolutely beautiful in Georgia--green and lush and really perfect temperatures mostly in the 70s--and I wondered how my tan hills would compare. But not to worry, California is still very much my home, and my first glimpse of the Bay Area through the airplane window this morning brought a huge smile to my face. My husband, Sean, picked me up at the airport and I was so grateful to get to spend some brief time with him before he had to head back to the office. And while my grandparents' new kitten, Sweetie, completely stole my heart, my girls, Gryphon and Morgan, were waiting for me here and haven't left my side even for a second since I walked in the front door. Travel brings newness, curiosity, reunion, but home brings a comfortable bliss that just can't be beat. Namaste.

Photo: "California Poppies," originally uploaded by docentjoyce