Growing Pains

I've been struggling a bit lately. Nothing major, just feeling overwhelmed and having trouble getting caught back up again. Of course, being "caught up" is just a state of mind. Really, it is simply peace of mind. So what I've come to realize is that bringing myself back into alignment with my peace needs to be my top priority. Everything else can, and will, fall into place once that simple goal is realized. The best part? It can happen in a moment. Ah, I feel better already.

I read this gem from DailyOM last week when I was having an especially challenging day due to a couple of colliding illnesses. It made me want to be a little more gentle with myself, give myself a break, and remember that even on my trickiest day of the year, I have still grown so much and come so far since my best day of last year. I'm guessing that's true for you, too. So give yourself a big hug and a pat on the back, and remember to celebrate all that growth has to offer, even when it hurts a little bit. Namaste.


Growing Pains
Initiations For Growth

Life is about growth, which is wonderful, though not always easy. Indeed, many of life’s lessons can be painful or difficult. Yet, such challenges are often the ones that present the most opportunity for spiritual growth. Initiations for growth come in many forms. In fact, we can view every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. While these disruptions in life are not easy, they are necessary.

The challenges the universe sends us can seem unbearable at times: a job we don’t want to spend another day at, a broken heart that feels as if it will never heal, or a long and painful illness. And then, there are the challenges that can be just as scary because we are being called to step up to the plate in ways that we may think we are not yet ready for: overcoming our fears in order to realize a lifelong dream, leaving behind a situation or people in our life that we may have outgrown, or moving across the world for our dream job or life partner.

At such times, it can feel as if the world is testing us and that life is asking more of us than we think we can give. We may feel uncomfortable, frightened, and unsure of what to do. However, life isn’t so much going against us as it is encouraging us to grow. During these periods, we can grow stronger by putting one foot in front of the other, as we work through our challenges. We may be asked to let go of old safety measures, shift old patterns of behavior, or step into the abyss of the unknown. When we do rise to the occasion, we end up better off for having made that journey. Not only do we end up learning and growing, but we inevitably become more compassionate to the challenges of others and wiser in the ways of the world. Our faith in the universe also grows because, ultimately, we can’t help but realize how much we are supported and taken care of at all times. When we are in the midst of a growing period, it is not easy to see our reward, but it is there, waiting for us to grow big enough to reach it.

Photo: "plant growing on bricks," originally uploaded by e453753

Susan Griffin quote

We know ourselves to be made from this earth. We know this earth is made from our bodies. For we see ourselves. And we are nature. We are nature seeing nature. We are nature with a concept of nature. Nature weeping. Nature speaking of nature to nature.

The red-winged blackbird flies in us, in our inner sight. We see the arc of her flight. We measure the ellipse. We predict its climax. We are amazed. We are moved. We fly. We watch her wings negotiate the wind, the substance of the air, its elements and the elements of those elements, and count those elements found in other beings, the sea urchin's sting, ink, this paper, our bones, the flesh of our tongues with which we make the sound "blackbird," the ear with which we hear, the eye which travels the arc of her flight. And yet the blackbird does not fly in us but somewhere else free of our minds, and now even free of our sight, flying in the path of her own will.

~Susan Griffin

Happy Gratitude Day!

If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.
~Meister Eckhart

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday. I mean, a whole day dedicated to gratitude -- what could be better than that? I know not everyone remembers that aspect of this holiday, choosing instead to focus on football and turkey. And don't get me wrong, the holiday "trimmings" do play their part. But for me, it is always such a great opportunity to remember what all I am grateful for.

Today that gratitude begins with my family of choice, those friends who have been more than just friends, who have been such a deep support system that they've become family. My mom and I started celebrating Thanksgiving with friends of ours about 20 years ago. We've all moved around a lot during those 20 years, and managed to continue the holiday tradition in many different locations over the years, but now we find ourselves together again living within 40 miles of each other. I am truly grateful to be celebrating Thanksgiving "old school" this year, with this very important subset of my family of choice.

There are so many things I find myself grateful for today that I've put together an ABC's of gratitude. Not only was it fun, but it encouraged me to explore my gratitude in a different way, enabling me to enjoy the surface and yet go a little deeper with it. Give it a try yourself and see how it goes. Namaste.

Autumn beauty     Being peaceful, powerful, and playful     Connection with Source     Dancing and drumming     Expanding consciousness     Family and friends     Grounded     Having my mom and Bonnie & Clyde (her cats) nearby     Intuitive insight     Joyful noise     Knowledge and understanding     Love and laughter with my husband     Morgan and Gryphon (my cats)     Nature in all its glory     Opportunities on the horizon     Power animals     Quiet time to just be     Release of the past     Shamanic journeying circle     Trust in my inner wisdom     Urban Dog Walkers     Vision     Women helping me to connect to my divine feminine     eXcitement and passion for life     Year of exploration     Zeppelin in the sky (I want to take a ride!)

Photo: "Autumn orange," originally uploaded by Jurek Durczak

Aristotle quote

Change in all things is sweet.

~Aristotle

Seeking the Source

It's been an upside-down and inside-out kind of month. With Thanksgiving approaching, I'm choosing to follow the wisdom of Rumi and seek my Source, relaxing back into Who I Am and what is truly important to me. It's a time for reflection and for connection. Enjoy the process. Namaste.

Seeking the Source
by Jelaluddin Rumi

a voice out of this world
calls on our souls
not to wait any more
get ready to move
to the original home

your real home
your real birth place
is up here with the heavens
let your soul take a flight
like a happy phoenix

you've been tied up
your feet in the mud
your body roped to a log
break loose your ties
get ready for the final flight

make your last journey
from this strange world
soar for the heights
where there is no more
separation of you and your home

God has created
your wings not to be dormant
as long as you are alive
you must try more and more
to use your wings to show you're alive

these wings of yours
are filled with quests and hopes
if they are not used
they will wither away
they will soon decay

you may not like
what i'm going to tell you
you are stuck
now you must seek
nothing but the source

Photo: "Let go," originally uploaded by Nataly

Annie Dillard quote

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be too cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

~Annie Dillard

Shifting gears

Since everything is but an apparition perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may as well burst out in laughter.
~Long Chen Pa

I kind of got lost the last few weeks, and I'm guessing I'm not alone. I can certainly point to all of the wonderful things I've been doing and the sense of urgency around them as the unbalancing factor, however I suspect that underlying drumbeat that you can practically feel and hear around you everywhere you go would have permeated even my best attempts at staying centered and grounded.

Yes, tomorrow is Election Day. I'm guessing you would have to live in an unplugged bomb shelter somewhere to have missed what promises to be the largest election in America's history. What started out as an optimistic, hope-filled embrace, however, has turned into a conversation steeped in fear. When I'm not careful, I can feel the country's anxiety and negativity seeping through into my own consciousness, and don't fool yourself into thinking it's all the other side. No matter which candidate you are supporting, in the desperate final days prior to the election the national conversation seems to be centered around all the terrible things that would happen if the other guy won. It's hardly surprising considering the culture of fear we've been living in for at least the last eight years, but my challenge to myself and to the world today is to rise above this fear-based thinking and focus instead on your intention.

What got me excited about this election in the first place was that it represented an opportunity for another voice to be heard -- the voice of the optimistic, the spiritual but not religious, those who recognize that every moment represents a choice about how we're going to live today. In other words, my voice. I want for my country what I want for myself -- the opportunity to spread your wings and fly, to live life to its fullest, to experience expansion and freedom. And I recognize for my country what I recognize for myself -- the best way to encourage change in another is to begin with yourself.

And so when I got dressed this morning, I pulled out my LIVE MINDFULLY shirt as a reminder to myself to truly stay present and be mindful this week. Because no matter what happens tomorrow, it's all going to be okay. I'm not going to kid myself and say I won't be disappointed if my candidate doesn't win, but I have to remember that life is an unfoldment and an evolution, always moving me in the direction of my highest good. I set my intention, I make my choices, I get out there and do what I can do, but I also allow the unexpected to come in and show me possibilities I might not have thought of on my own. And most of all, what I want to remember is not what I am against, but instead that I am FOR change, I am FOR hope, I am FOR living life fully. Namaste.

Photo: "blown open," originally uploaded by sookie

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Rita Mae Brown quote

I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

~Rita Mae Brown

I want to free what waits within me

Once again, life is good. My shamanism workshop this weekend was even better than I could have imagined, I'm (mostly) caught up with my work, and I'm off to Connecticut tomorrow to help with the final stage of my mother's move to California. I don't know how much time I'll have over the next couple of weeks to post anything, but let me leave you with these beautiful words of Rilke's in the interim. Namaste.

from Rilke's Book of Hours
by Rainer Maria Rilke; translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy

I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for

may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing you as no one ever has,

streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.

Photo: "Welsh stream," originally uploaded by Mark Robinson

SARK quote

You are enough. You have enough. You do enough.

~SARK

What is it you would let go of today?

In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?
~Mary Manin Morrissey

Today, I am letting go of stress and worry and agita. I am remembering that being busy has its own rhythm, its own flow, and that I just need to surrender to it. Life is good, full of good friends, new experiences, and exploration. There is always plenty of time, more than enough to do both what is necessary and what is fun. So today I choose to relax into that energy and see where it takes me.

An email was going around a few weeks back that is a lovely way of looking at surrender (amongst other things), and I wanted to share it with you today. Whatever your idea of the Oneness or a higher power may be, it is a good reminder that we don't have to do everything. In fact, when we try to, we tend to just get in our own way. When we can truly let go of something, we give it some breathing room, allowing it to get solved on its own. So let go of what concerns you today, surrender it to this One Power, and then just show up and see where spirit leads you. Namaste.


Ten Guidelines from Swami
Satya Sai Baba
Source: Nava Sarathy – April 2007

1. Quit Worrying:
Life has dealt you a blow, and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over little things that comes your way?

2. Put it on the List:
Something needs to be done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not your list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to ME. And although MY to-do-list is long, I am after all . . . God. I can take care of anything you put into MY hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. Trust ME:
Once you have given your burdens to ME, quit trying to take them back. Trust in ME. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on MY list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. Leave it Alone:
Don't wake up in morning and say, "Well, I am feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It is simple. You gave Me your burdens and I am taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in My peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. Talk to Me:
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I am in control. But there is one thing I pray you never forget. Please don't forget to talk to Me – OFTEN! I LOVE YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply that you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. Have Faith:
I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I am doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing this simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. Share:
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joys with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who have not heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. Be Patient:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.

9. Be Kind:
Be kind to others for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be so boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. Love Yourself:
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by Me for one reason only – to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to Me.

Photo: "Letting Go..," originally uploaded by Capture Queen

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Spiritual Leaders Vote for Obama

A global consciousness shift is upon us, and we can make an active difference in what is taking place in our world. Many people believe that spirituality and politics don't mix. I would certainly say that getting caught up in the mass consciousness does not serve you or the world. However, for the first time in my lifetime, and possibly in our country's history, we are facing an opportunity for the critical mass of consciousness shift that has been building up to the tangible place it is today to influence our political arena.

Spiritual leaders from a wide variety of backgrounds have come together to throw their voice into the political conversation, reminding us of Mahatma Gandhi's words: "We must be the change we wish to see in the world." I for one am committed to bringing this consciousness shift to Washington, always remembering that Yes We Can.

The text of their message is below, but please also visit their website at http://www.spiritualleadersforobama.org.

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Deepak Chopra, Pema Chödrön, Jack Canfield, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Gay & Katie Hendricks, Roshi Joan Halifax, Barbara De Angelis, Pir Elias Amidon, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Alex & Allyson Grey, Richard Moss, Rabbi Michael Lerner, Ed & Deb Shapiro, Eli Jaxson-Bear, Stephan Rechtschaffen, Oscar & Cindy Miro-Quesada, Corinne McLaughlin, Sister Jenna, Swami Beyondananda, Gordon Davidson, Lama Drolma Palden, Peter Fenner, Reb Zalman Shachter-Shalomi, Dean Ornish MD, Robert Thurman, Sharon Salzberg, Reggie Ray, Jai Uttal, Gangaji, Krishna Das, H.H. Sai Maa Lakshmi Devi, Joan Borysenko, Sylvia Boorstein, Lama Surya Das, Judith Ansara & Robert Gass, Jean Houston, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Julia Butterfly Hill . . . and more every day!

As spiritual leaders signing this letter we are stepping forward to say: “We can make a difference.” As our spiritual practice empties, opens and strengthens us, we are naturally moved to engage in the world with compassion, equanimity, and the dedication to live our values.

We know many of you are already both concerned and involved in this year’s Presidential election. Yet, in the past weeks, many of us have heard friends in the spiritual community expressing ambivalence about voting. When asked why they wouldn't vote we heard things like: “It doesn’t make any difference”; “I’m more interested in spiritual practice than politics”.

Humanity is at a crossroads. We can no-longer afford to sit on the sidelines. We are asking you to get engaged.

Learn more about Barack Obama's movement for change.

The 2000 presidential election was decided by just 500 votes and this November appears to be just as close. Every vote matters. Your vote and the votes in your community could make the difference.

Please make a heart-felt inquiry and look at the candidates. Ask yourself who best reflects the values you want to live by – those of spirituality in action.

• Who do you believe will lead this country and the world in the direction you would like to see it move?

• Which candidate will foster security through international cooperation rather than wars of aggression?

• Which candidate will move policy most quickly toward a sustainable habitable planet for future generations?

• Which candidate will most support our commitment to human rights and equal opportunity for all people?

...and then Vote. Let your voice be heard.

Together there is nothing we cannot do.

TAKE ACTION NOW

1. REGISTER TO VOTE & Detailed Voter Information

2. VOLUNTEER
Find out how you can help!

3. FORWARD THIS MESSAGE

Visit our site for fliers, email resources (optimized for forwarding) and more information on how to get the message out.

Let’s bring the benefits of our practice into our lives. The world needs us.

People Look Around

When it rains, it pours. It isn't a belief I typical espouse, however it has manifested in my life over the past couple of weeks. It's all good stuff--a few examples: my mother is finally moving to the Bay Area after two years of planning, and we found her a lovely new home last week; I'm interviewing for a position that would get me out in the world, interacting with people in a way that utilizes my excellent project management skills in combination with my life's desire to help people live their lives as fully as possible; and I'm embarking on a journey into the world of the shaman, realizing a dream I've had since I first discovered the Navajo's Beauty Way when I was a teenager. It's keeping me busy, but I must say, Life Is Good.

While I was working today, I was listening to Catie Curtis's most recent two albums: Long Night Moon (2006) and Sweet Life (2008). I talked about one of her songs back in January when I had a similar experience of reconnecting with her music and falling in love all over again. This time, I was especially struck by two songs . . .

"People Look Around," from Long Night Moon, is a timely look at where the political discussion in America has gotten derailed to. Written post-Katrina, it is just as applicable today as the conversation is turning yet again from global considerations (i.e. economics and climate change) back to things that have no business being mixed up with politics (i.e. religion). Of course, if we really wanted to bring religion into the discussion, I'm with Catie: "Jesus said, 'Feed the hungry,' Jesus said, 'Help the poor,' / 'Take care of each other, love one another.'" Not bad advice.

The other song that jumped out at me today was "Are You Ready to Fly?" from Sweet Life. Yes, I do have an obsession with the idea of learning to fly, but what a wonderful look at the sweetness of childhood, and how change really is an opportunity to fly.

So I hope you enjoy a little Catie Curtis distraction here this afternoon. And if it turns out you like her even half as much as I do, she'll be at the Freight and Salvage in Berkeley this Sunday and Monday. Wanna go?

Artist: Catie Curtis
Website: http://catiecurtis.com/
More information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catie_Curtis

Song: People Look Around
Album: Long Night Moon
Video: http://catiecurtis.com/index.php?page=video&display=797

The Mississippi River divides this land in two
Like the way tend to think of things, black and white, red and blue
If they can keep us fighting about marriage and god
They'll be no one left to notice if our leaders do their jobs

The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling in the ocean
Falling

When the water is rising and there is no higher ground
You can wave your hands up on the roof but you might be left to drown
In the streets of New Orleans, a makeshift funeral pall
"Here Lies Vera, God Help Us All"

The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling in the ocean
Falling

Jesus said "feed the hungry," Jesus said "help the poor"
"Take care of each other, love one another"
People look around, we let them down

The Mississippi River flooded New Orleans
And we stared in disbelief at our TV screens
If they can keep us fighting another endless war
How many tears before the truth cannot be ignored?

The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling in Lake Ponchartrain
Falling in the ocean
Falling

Written by Catie Curtis and Mark Erelli

Song: Are You Ready to Fly?
Albums: Sweet Life

Teenagers jumping off a railroad bridge
They’ve known each other since they were kids
It’s the end of the summer, good friends ready to fly
They do the cannonball in to the creek
They do the cannonball one more week
At the end of the summer, good friends saying goodbye

They were riding double on bicycles
Buying bubble gum and vying for the sun
And the summer was so long,
‘Til the summer was so gone

Your sister went to college in the fall
She took her posters off the bedroom wall
And the family drove all night from the university
And in the morning looking down the hall
She left her trophies and a couple dolls
But your family would be alright ‘cause you had to be

You were riding double on bicycles
Buying bubble gum and vying for the sun
And the summer was so long,
‘Til the summer was so gone

On we go down crooked roads alone to who knows where
Burning in this moment like a sparkler in mid-air

When you are jumping off a railroad bridge
No one can tell you what living is
At the end of the summer are you ready to fly?

We were riding double on bicycles
Buying bubble gum and vying for the sun
And the summer was so long,
‘Til the summer was so gone

Photo: Tony Baker

Benjamin Franklin quote

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

~Benjamin Franklin

Happy Autumnal Equinox!

I have mixed feelings about today. On the up side, fall is my absolutely favorite time of year. I love the change of weather, when the temperature begins to cool and evenings take on a crispness that encourages sweaters and jackets. I love when the leaves begin to change, exchanging their gorgeous greens for majestic reds, yellows, oranges and browns. I love school supplies filling the drugstores, with the clean, blank notebooks begging to be filled with fresh ideas. But it's a mournful time too, as day and night share equal time today, signaling the beginning of our descent into darkness for the winter. It's time to turn within, to connect to the wise Self and eternal Source within, staying quiet and leaving the boisterous extroversion of spring and summer behind for a spell.

Even living in a place where it stays warm so late in the year that leaves are still changing around Thanksgiving, fall is fall, and I always associate this time of year with new beginnings, with learning new things, with positive change. This year has felt sort of like fall has arrived every month, bringing regular change and inducing an ongoing sense of wonder at the world and my place in it. One of those changes is that for the first time, I am embracing the darkness, exploring the quiet stillness, the appearance of things coming to end, connecting with pieces of me that usual go unnoticed or ignored. I am not terribly interested in defining myself in concrete terms, perhaps because my self-definition is utterly fluid right now. What is much more up my alley right now is just being in the moment, seeing what shows up in it, and truly responding to it from the center of my being. What happens next is so much more powerful than what would have happened if I'd simply reacted or allowed my Intellect to interfere.

Life is an ongoing process, an experiment in becoming more -- more of Who I Am, more of who I came here to be. It's such a wild ride, unexpected and joyous and thought-provoking and vital. I'm simply excited to be here, excited that it's fall, that it's another season in the cycle of this crazy and incredible year, excited to see what I get to learn and be and do next, and excited to share bits and pieces of my journey with you. Namaste.

Photo: "Forever autumn," originally uploaded by Josep Mª Rosell

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Zen saying

Paths cannot be taught, they can only be taken.

Notes from Jenn's World

I'm sorry for going a week without posting anything. There was definitely a lot going on--one of these days I'll find that balance where I can be busy and active and still write blog posts. But in the meantime, let's catch back up with a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Reiki
I was very excited to receive my first degree Reiki attunement last weekend. I've been loving playing with the Divine in a new way through the Reiki healing energies. After learning how to give a table session, it occurred to me that I've been using a form of Reiki energy on myself and loved ones for a while now, I just didn't know that's what it was. But it was wonderful to learn how to channel the energy in new and more concrete ways, and I'm having fun practicing with both the standard forms and following my intuition.

Rock Band
Have you felt the pull of the game Rock Band? It's a game sort of in the same vein as Guitar Hero, where you wield a guitar-shaped controller and play a Simon-like game of hitting the right button and strumming at the right time to make the right note play on the screen. Rock Band takes this genre one step farther by introducing the drums and a vocal track. I have a "band" with my husband and two friends of ours (I'm the singer), so Saturday we tackled the Endless Set List--58 songs in a row. It was an absolute blast--exhausting, but the kind of serious fun that could be bottled and sold for big bucks. I suspect it's because it appeals to several aspects of you at once: my inner child loves it because it's playing, my creative self loves it because it feels like creative expression even as you're mimicking the original song, my body loves it because it can dance a little as I go. Fun for the whole family. Next up--a real band. It may take us a while to get it together, but we plan to start pulling out real instruments and seeing if we can't make some music together. Or at the very least, continue to just have a really good time.

Chihuly exhibit
After spending the day in San Francisco yesterday exploring the Chihuly exhibit at the deYoung Museum and enjoying hanging out with a new friend I met while training for the Avon Walk, I feel absolutely full. Chihuly's work is so full of joy and creative expression that it makes me feel like I am full of joy and creative expression. I totally want to learn how to do what I'm thinking of now as "fire art," i.e. anything that uses fire in order to come into being, like blowing glass or making pottery or what have you. I've always loved to draw and paint, but I like the idea of having a 3-D, very tangible presence at the end of your creative expression. I'll let you know if anything come of this urge.

Guinea pigs
So I am currently looking for "guinea pigs," people I can practice energy work on (or with). I am opening myself up to do more and more with energy, both on the giving end, like with Reiki, and on the reading end, like with the way I do tarot readings. I'm learning a new way of doing energy readings related to the chakras and suspect that about the time I'm getting a handle on that, a new way of reading energy will be given to me. So please do let me know if you'd be willing to let me practice and experiment by giving you an energy reading. At this moment in time, I am looking for Bay Area guinea pigs only, but I will definitely let you know when I am ready to expand to long-distance!

So what's new in your world? How have you been entertaining yourself? Are all of your different aspects feeling involved in your life? What kinds of new and exciting things have you been learning? I'd love to hear all about the growth and fun happening in your life right now. Namaste.

Photo: "Chihuly glass at the Bellagio," originally uploaded by Joe Flood

Jim Rohn quote

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

~Jim Rohn

Returning to myself

The best things in life are nearest: breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties in your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

So I took my own advice from yesterday--not that I realized I was giving advice--and went for a walk at the beach today. "Happily I recover. . . . / Happily I go forth. . . . / With lovely feelings may I walk. / As it used to be long ago, may I walk." I had woken up this morning feeling off my game. After a week of being a bit under the weather, I was finally feeling better . . . so my Intellect gifted me with a flurry of thoughts that supposedly needed urgent attention. I realized that this tension I've been feeling in my neck and shoulders is a direct result of stress, which always surprises me. A year ago, I was working a crazy schedule plus a hellish commute for a job that I hated. What do I have to be stressed out about now?, I ask myself.

But that's not really how it works. Whatever is going on your life is always the largest thing you've ever had to deal with. Not true, I know, but especially as time passes and you adjust to life as it has become, the things that happened in the past lose their full color and whatever is up for you right now feels HUGE. You can hear about starving children and domestic violence and rights abuses and whatever else makes the news today and think, how do my worries compare to that? Well, they don't. But not because your challenges are inherently less important--it's really that life isn't relative. Sure, you can always do more for those other folks you're hearing about it, and they may or may not receive relief from it or appreciate it. But none of that will make what's going on for you go away. You are living your life in this moment, the present moment, the only moment there is, and therefore this moment is the most important moment in your life, in your world.

Which is how I came to be at the beach today. I realized that I'd allowed all the relativity, the shoulds, the external stresses to become more important that this moment. None of it really matters. Sure, I could use a larger income. Sure, very little would make me happier right now than being able to move. Sure, I have work to do around my house, for my clients, for myself. But when I stop experiencing the present moment, stop recognizing its importance, stop taking care of myself in this moment, then I have completely missed the point of living.

Now that I am back home again, those issues that felt oh-so-important this morning are still there, lingering in the back of my mind, but they no longer feel urgent, no longer feel larger than life. Because now I remember the smell of the ocean, the majesty of the seagulls and the pelicans, the feel of cypress bark on my skin. The work flows easily now, the stresses roll off me like water, and I am grounded, present, centered, and truly alive. Order has been restored to my small corner of the Universe, and all is well again. Life truly is good. Namaste.

Photo: "Old tree branch on a sandy beach, " originally uploaded by René Ehrhardt

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Annie Dillard quote

Every day is a god, each day is a god,
and holiness holds forth in time.
I worship each god,
I praise each day splintered down,
and wrapped in time like a husk,
a husk of many colors spreading,
at dawn fast over the mountains split.

~Annie Dillard

Happily may I walk

I've been a bit under the weather this past week. One part lots of pollen in the air, one part working more than usual, one part socializing during the time that I'm accustomed to taking for myself, and it adds up to exhaustion. Unfortunately, my body is still operating on old patterns--assuming I won't take care of things myself, it stirs things up with the occasional illness to force me to take it easy for a time. I've been trying to convince it that times have changed, dialing things way back this weekend and even canceling my Saturday plans to ensure I had plenty of time to recoup. But no luck--the run-down, allergetic feeling I've been struggling with all week has finally turned into a full-blown cold.

So this week my plan is to return to the basics, focus on taking care of myself, staying present with what's going on with me, and just take things one at a time. I pulled out my old standby (best friend, really) Earth Prayers this morning and was struck by this Navajo chant. I loved the sense of balance, of bringing things back into alignment, that it conveyed. Hope it appeals to you as much as it is appealing to me today. Namaste.


House made of dawn.
House made of evening light.
House made of the dark cloud.
House made of male rain.
House made of female rain.
House made of pollen.
House made of grasshoppers.

Dark cloud is at the door.
The trail out of it is dark cloud.
The zigzag lightning stands high upon it.
An offering I make.
Restore my feet for me.
Restore my legs for me.
Restore my body for me.
Restore my mind for me.
Restore my voice for me.
This very day take out your spell for me.

Happily I recover.
Happily my interior becomes cool.
Happily I go forth.
My interior feeling cool, may I walk.
No longer sore, may I walk.
Impervious to pain, may I walk.
With lovely feelings may I walk.
As it used to be long ago, may I walk.

Happily may I walk.
Happily, with abundant dark clouds, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant showers, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant plants, may I walk.
Happily, on a trail of pollen, may I walk.
Happily may I walk.
Being as it used to be long ago, may I walk.

May it be beautiful before me.
May it be beautiful behind me.
May it be beautiful below me.
May it be beautiful above me.
May it be beautiful all around me.
In beauty it is finished.
In beauty it is finished.

Photo: "after the storm," originally uploaded by alex de carvalho

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Ghosts

I've been feeling ghosts all around me lately. Not the ghosts of those who have left this world--I know that in a way because they have moved on they are always with me--but the ghosts of old friends who used to be a large part of my life but due to geography or priorities or whatnot are no longer around. I see them in old pictures, hear them in classic songs, even have them cropping up in restless dreams. Suddenly, I'm missing people I haven't thought of in months or seen in years and I feel sad.

My mom calls me a pack rat, and that applies to people as well as to things. I hate to let people go, even when it is obviously time, when we've grown apart or aren't helping each other to grow any longer. It's true, I have this dream of being able to gather everyone I've ever loved into one community so that they may continue to be a part of my life even if it's only to run into each other at Town Hall meetings. There's a piece of me that hungers for that small town feel where it's a rare person that moves into the town and an even rarer one that leaves, where everybody knows everybody and their business, for good or for bad.

And yet, no one is aware more than I am that it is precisely because I've led the somewhat transient life I've led, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and moving into new areas with new people, that I've been able to grow and change as much as I have. The old friends, while still dear to me, could not have helped me to get to where I am today. They've had their own paths to explore, and I've needed fresh ideas, fresh motivations to nudge me along my own. There was a time and a place for us to be together, and the time may come where we'll meet again. But in the meantime, I'm always being pushed out of my nest out in the wide world, where no one is really a stranger, they're just friends I haven't collected yet.

And so, I am writing this to honor my ghosts, to let them know I will never forget them. I will be here when the time is right for us to be in community again. In the meantime, best of luck on the journey. Namaste.

Photo: "Lighthouse in sepia," originally uploaded by eva

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Einsten quote

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.

~Albert Einstein

On Being Happy

Do you remember how much fun it was to play as a kid? Just throw yourself whole hog into an activity, just about any activity, and see where it takes you. When I look back, I have to laugh at how many of my games were based somehow in tasks I would consider work today, like playing school, making mud pies, heck, I even ran my own imaginary hotel. I loved this page out of Chellie Campbell's The Wealthy Spirit reminding me of the simple fun of playing in the ooze. Reaching the goal was never half as fun as the creation process, yet as grownups the end is just about the only thing we focus our energy on. Just think about how much fun we're missing out on!

On Being Happy
Day 95 of The Wealthy Spirit by Chellie Campbell

"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."
~Marcus Aurelius

As human beings are creatures of endless desire and hunger for betterment, it is our nature to always want to improve ourselves and our circumstances. This can be a positive force, motivating us onward to greater glorious goods for ourselves and for others. However, one can become lost in the constant search and craving for the next best thing, so trapped in future imaginings that we discount and ignore the accomplishments of the past evidenced in our present.

The art of happiness is an act of balance. We need to appreciate the process while we work within its creative ooze, the end results as yet unformed, like elements banging against each other in search of becoming sentient. As children playing with mud pies, the fun is in the making: baking in the golden sun, fingers sticky with mud-paint, grass-stained knees, brow wrinkled with concentration, searching for the perfect fine-grained dark earth to fashion into visionary pie. Day's end will come soon enough, no need to hurry to completion, for then the fun is over. Rejoice in the dreaming, glory in the doing, and let the dirt clods fall where they may.

Now, today, with your own mud-luscious imagined inventions, play with the ooze and be happy.

Today's Affirmation: "I am a rich child playing happily in Life's rich playground."

Photo: "A Boy's Work is Never Done," originally uploaded by KellyB.

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Joseph Campbell quote

A bit of advice given to a young Native American at the time of his initiation: “As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It’s not as wide as you think.”

~Joseph Campbell

Waiting

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
~John Lubbock

I did my morning practice out on my deck this morning. We finally did our "spring cleaning" on it this weekend and it's finally user-friendly again. It felt so good to be experiencing my little world from a slightly different perspective, breathing in the cool, crisp air as the morning fog burned off, feeling the sun warm the back of my neck as it broke through. You know, it's funny, when I do visioning about what I want my life to look like, there's always a little sun room or something where I do my morning practice with a cup of hot tea at my elbow. But today was the first day, perhaps ever, that I actually had a cup of hot tea at my elbow while I did my practice. I suppose that's a gesture of taking it one step at a time. No sun room yet, but I do have a lovely deck and I can always make myself a cup of tea wherever I am.

The past week or so it's like I've been in a waiting mode. I'm sure there's a better way to describe it--waiting sounds so angsty. But it's like there's something coming and all I have to do is make room for its arrival. Doing anything else could be potentially counterproductive. And so here I've been, waiting. Of course, I probably could have found better ways to do so--I'm pretty sure playing The Sims is not a critical step along my journey. Then again, it did exactly what I needed it to do--it occupied my Intellect, giving it something to feed off of, someone else's life to try to control down to the smallest degree, and stopped worrying itself over my life. It's left me feeling light, free, and ready.

I do not know what my next step is, nor do I know the when and how of the arrival of my knowing. But for today, it's enough for me to let go of my expectations of what I should be doing and just allow myself to be, and in the meantime, I can soak up all the wonderful energy provided by sitting on my deck with a cup of tea at my elbow. Namaste.

Photo: "Lotus bud 2," originally uploaded by tanakawho

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Growing pains

A mentor of mine recently reminded me that just because the road looks like it is dipping, does not mean you've gotten off course. The path of spiritual and personal growth can look bumpy from time to time, but think of it as driving on a mountain road--it may go up for a little while, it may go down for a little while, but the whole way you are moving in the direction of your destination. This very simple piece of wisdom helped me shift from beating myself up for not always living in the light to accepting that every step takes me forward along my path with plenty to be learned from the experience.

I loved this recent DailyOM posting that had some additional insight on what might look like a challenging time. I know that I, for one, am looking forward to a slightly less bumpy road, but I also know that when it comes I will be all the stronger for what I am going through today. Namaste.

Growing Pains
Difficult Times

It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.

This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.

At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can’t, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.

Photo: "Sapa - Mountain Road," originally uploaded by j.fisher

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The freedom of forgiveness

I had such a thought-provoking comment on my Forgiveness post from last week that I felt drawn to write a follow-up post on the subject. I'm re-posting the comment here as this blog lives in two places so not everyone would have had a chance to view the original. James said:

Forgiveness is an interesting concept. Such an easy word, but so difficult to master. I have recently turned to Taoism to find my way. In my readings, I have found that sometimes forgiveness is a selfish act. I had a friend do something very low down to me. I forgave him. We aren’t friends, we won’t hang out anytime soon, but the forgiveness was a selfish act, it was to make me feel better. It was to let the bad energy leave me. But recently, my wife and I have come under a lot of stress, which has turned into arguments. It is tough to forgive, because that kind of forgiveness can’t be selfish, it has to be giving. I have a hard time with that…hence the Taoist way. Hopefully I will be enlightened and learn.

James raises such a good point, that we can think of forgiveness as selfish because it makes us feel better. But forgiveness does far more than make you feel better--it creates healing (or at least an opening for healing) for both parties concerned. Forgiveness really isn't about the other person--it is your reaction to what occurred that created you being upset in the first place, and so really it is all about you clearing up your own energy around the situation and/or the person and releasing any negative buildup. However, that doesn't mean that the other person isn't affected by it. As Catherine Ponder says, "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." That link is a two-way street, usually with negative energy circulating between the two people involved even if they aren't interacting with each other. The more we hold on to our negative thoughts about what happened, the more negativity flows back and forth along that link. Once it has been dissolved, however, no matter who does the dissolving, both parties will reap the benefits of the forgiveness by no longer being caught in an endless loop of anger.

Now, sometimes it is easier to forgive when you think of it as being selfish. The other person hurt you and while you know you need to let the anger go so that you are no longer continuing to hurt yourself after the fact, you don't necessarily want to help the other person either. I think this might be a good time to point out that no matter what happens between two people, there are always two sides, two ways of perceiving what took place. Usually, our feelings of hurt don't come from the facts of the situation themselves, they come from the way we choose to interpret the facts. In the heat of strong emotion it may be difficult to recognize you have a choice about the interpretation, but the recognition of that choice is perhaps the most freeing realization you can ever have.

But no matter how you think about it, forgiveness is both selfish and giving. Whether you choose to forgive for your own energetic benefit or because your relationship with another requires you to be as loving and as giving as you can be, the best thing you can do for everyone involved is to forgive. Forgive yourself, forgive the other person, forgive the situation, forgive the person, just keep on forgiving until you genuinely feel like all of the roots of the anger have dissipated. Forgiveness is the quickest road to freedom there is. Namaste.

Photo: "A Brand New Day," originally uploaded by Hendra Saputra

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Emerson quote

Nothing is secure but life, transition, the energizing spirit. . . . People wish to be settled; but only so far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Forgiveness

When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.
~La Rochefoucauld

Inspired by Catherine Ponder, I've been doing some great work around forgiveness this week. I found this ritual by Rev. Peggy Ray online and wanted to share it with you. I've found it really useful and recommend spending some time with it once a day for at least a week. Don't feel like you're harboring any resentments? Dig a little deeper, or perhaps start with yourself. Where there's even a smidgen of hard feelings, spending a few minutes in forgiveness can create healing you weren't even aware you needed. Namaste.

Healing Relationships Ritual

Sit comfortably in a chair, with your back upright, and your feet flat on the floor. Breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically for at least five minutes. There is no need to hurry through this exercise. Let your body and breath slow to a peaceful, comfortable rhythm before going further.

Now imagine yourself surrounded by a beautiful cocoon of golden light. Let it settle softly about you, comforting and protecting you within its soothing glow. Feel yourself snuggling into it, feeling safe and warmed by its light. This is the healing light of God's love and tender concern for you.

Say the Unity prayer aloud to yourself:

The Light of God surrounds me The love of God enfolds me The power of God protects me The presence of God watches over me Wherever I am, God is And all is well.

Now focus again on the golden light all around you. Begin to draw this healing cocoon of God's love into your heart. Breathe in, inhaling slowly, drawing it deeply deeply deeply into your body. Let this wonderful healing light fill your heart with warmth and love. Feel it expanding throughout your body, healing any hurt areas within your emotions or heart. Circulate this golden energy all through your body, breathing deeply and easily as you do so. Take as long as you need to allow this energy to flow wherever it needs to.

Now visualize that the person that you are having difficulty with is sitting across from you. They are not allowed to speak to you or touch you without your permission or an invitation to do so. As clearly as you can, tell them your truth. Tell them about your anger, your pain, the hurt that you feel. Try not to blame them or to make them wrong, but to offer them the gift of your truth. Stay as centered on your own feelings and pain as you can. Say everything you need to say, leaving nothing back. Then recite the following prayer, beginning with their full name:

________, I forgive you for any pain that you have ever brought to me in this life or in any other life, whether real or imagined, deliberate or unintentional.

I ask that you, _______, forgive me for any hurt that I have ever brought to you, in this life or in any other life, whether real or imagined, deliberate or unintentional.

I bless you, I release you to God's care and keeping, and I set us both free.

Now imagine two enormous hands of light, with palms cupped directly in front of you. Visualize them as huge, tender, loving hands - God's hands, and they are as big as the room. Release the person and the situation into these beautiful tender hands of light. Just lay it all down into these loving hands. Surrender the other person, and the entire situation into God's care and keeping. See yourself being set free as you release this heavy burden. It has taken a tremendous amount of energy to carry this pain. Take a moment to forgive yourself for having had angry or fearful thoughts about the other person.

Draw in another deep breath from your golden cocoon of light, and let the love slowly circulate all through your body, filling the areas that were full of hate just a few moments ago. Breathe deeply and slowly, and notice how light you feel. If you wish, crawl into those loving caring hands and lay your other burdens down as well. Feel these beautiful tender hands gently cradling you, rocking you, comforting you. Stay and rest in this healing peace as long as you need to.

End with this prayer:

Mother-Father-God, I thank you with joy and with gratitude for allowing me to shift, to grow, to heal. I know now that I am not doomed to endlessly hate and hurt. Through your love and tender care I am set free. Thank you for the light of your love as it illuminates my life and heals the wounds within. Amen.

Do this as often as you feel necessary until the situation is resolved. On a soul level we are all connected, so this healing energy will reach the other person, whether they are still on the Earth or have already passed on. No healing is ever lost.

Photo: "my balcony," originally uploaded by shikeroku

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Reaping what you sow

Lavish [love] on others, receive it gratefully when it come to you. Cultivate friendship like a garden. It is the best love of all.
~Sister Helen Prejean

As I emerge from my first hot shower since Friday, I have a renewed sense that all is well in my world. I feel like I imagine my cats feel when waking up from a long nap--contented, cozy, comfortable. I just want to stretch and sigh and wiggle my toes and relax. Life truly is good.

I've been reading the past few days from a classic new thought book, Catherine Ponder's The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity. Like many classic prosperity texts, it is full of stories of how people changed their thinking and changed their lives. It's a wonderful reminder of how the most basic law of the universe works. The bottom line? You reap what you sow. What does that mean exactly? That what you give is what you receive. You want love? Give love. You want respect? Give respect. You want riches? Give of yourself richly. Everything you give out into the universe, whether it's the energy you radiate or donations of time and money or the way you treat your co-workers, it all comes back to you. When you're giving generously, positively, then it comes back to you generously and positively, but it works the other way around too--when you're miserly or angry, that comes back to you as lack and negativity.

It sounds oh, so simple . . . and it is. But practicing it positively isn't always easy. If it were then everybody would be doing it. I'm looking at it as my challenge for the week. Whenever I can, I remind myself of my Truth. It might be with an affirmation (God is the Source of my infinite supply) or I might take it a step farther and do a little visualization with an affirmation (I am open to receive ALL of life's riches) or I might take a moment to be grateful for whatever is right in front of me.

There's a lot of power in gratitude, and I've been playing around with blessing whatever I have on hand. For instance, I am incredibly grateful that the hot water heater did not die during my Avon Walk training when I was taking lots of Epsom salt baths to help heal my sore, aching muscles. I say a little blessing for the food that I prepare for my husband and myself, or for the person who prepares my food when I eat out. I am also grateful both for the paycheck I'll be picking up tomorrow and for money that is no longer due, like a $15 reduction on a monthly medication that just went into effect this weekend. Hallelujah!

Finally, I'm looking for ways that I can give. While money is definitely a part of the universal flow, the sky is the limit when it comes to things that we may give. It may be as simple as sharing a little piece of myself in my writing or brightening a friend's day with an authentic compliment. Or it might be a volunteer opportunity--I'm looking forward to manning a rest stop at a cycling event this weekend, giving back to some folks who supported me during my Avon Walk training. One of my favorite examples from the book was a woman with flowers in her garden who took a few to an elderly shut-in across the street.

So what are you interesting in sowing this week? It doesn't take a huge shift in your thinking for you to begin to see results. Take up the challenge with me and remember that the Universe is the Source of your infinite supply, be grateful for what you already have, and find ways to begin giving of yourself to the world around you. Then pay attention to what surprises come up for you, perhaps an unexpected check in the mail or maybe friends offering to take you out for dinner. The world is your oyster--enjoy the benefits! Namaste.

Photo: "harvest," originally uploaded by Kerri 2008

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The agony and the ecstasy

You have been thinking about your future long enough. You may be sick and tired of going around on the same mental loops as you attempt to create something different from the life you currently have. Instead of fighting against the resistance you feel, try letting go of the attachment that you have to any long-term goals. You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens when your mind is freed from previous expectations.
~Rick Levine, Scorpio horoscope for August 3, 2008

This past week I had a glimpse into the life of a manic depressive, with amazing highs followed closely by horrifying lows. It was a 7-day roller coaster ride, and while the highs were magnificent and I definitely would have rather not had the lows, I can see how both ends of the spectrum are part of the fabric of living life fully.

Our summer adventure was an absolute blast. We had a wonderful road trip up and back, listening to recordings of Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman and Paulo Coelho's wonderful journey The Alchemist. Crater Lake was breathtakingly beautiful, even for a second visit. We had a lovely "it's a small world" experience by running into a former co-worker of mine shortly after our arrival at the rim. Our campsite was somewhat exposed, but we ended up not having many neighbors so it felt very private. We were captivated by the geology of the mountain and even ended up going to my first ever campfire circle to learn as much as we could about how the lake was formed. We absolutely fell in love with Ashland and can't wait to go back when we have plenty of time to dawdle. Our B&B, Morical House Garden Inn, was gorgeous and comfortable with a wonderfully welcoming innkeeper and yummy-smelling breakfast included. We didn't end up tasting said breakfast as we opted to revisit a wonderful little restaurant we discovered driving home from our honeymoon two years ago, Morning Glory. In addition to having some of the best food I've ever eaten in my life, it's a cozy, comfortable, homey spot that just makes you feel good from the inside out. All in all, a fabulous vacation.

The trouble began when we arrived back home. Normally I'm thrilled to be home, and I was looking forward to an evening with just my cats as my husband had plans to go out that night. But I was antsy, feeling like I'd rather still be on vacation. I fell into some old patterns, which I later recognized was me looking for a way to make myself feel better that felt familiar instead of doing something centering and grounding. The next couple of days were a downward spiral of a pretty severe funk, aggravated by discovering a cockroach in one of our kitchen cabinets and having the hot water heater go kaput. Every time I'd start to think I was pulling out of the funk, something else would happen to send me back down again.

What I recognize now is that my sense of where I was (too small, now dirty-feeling apartment, not enough money coming in, not getting paid to do the work I was born to do, not liking my body or my wardrobe, etc.) compared to my sense of where I want to be (work that enables me to share my gifts with the world, spacious and comfortable home with plenty of room to grow into, large income that supports all of our needs and desires with plenty to share with others, active lifestyle that keeps me lean and full of energy, etc.) was extremely out of alignment. My energy was all stuck in judgment and resistance, the result of which was several days of misery.

Thankfully, today was the day when I got to turn it all around. I'd just had the opportunity to tell a coaching client last weekend that the great thing about a spiritual practice is that you're building a foundation for your life. While the analogy of building muscles can be useful, the good news here is that unlike your muscles, stopping the spiritual workout does not mean you have to start over from scratch--the muscles don't deteriorate in your absence. It doesn't take much--a five minute meditation, a repetition of your mantra, singing a verse of a chant--to get you reconnected to your Source. Pulling a couple of tools out of my toolbox this morning, I was able to move myself into a place of peace and acceptance. Not only to I no longer feel stuck, I feel like I am soaring and free. I'm calling today my New Year's Day because I feel like I just hit the reset button. It's a new year, clean and open and full of possibilities. And I'm thrilled to get to live each of its days as fully as I know how. Namaste.

Photo: A shot of our breakfast table at Morning Glory in Ashland, OR

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