Sunday, March 9, 2008

Concussion

So, you know the expression, "I got hit over the head with it," usually referring to an idea or message or something? Well, Saturday, in the wee hours of the morning, I literally experienced what being hit over the head feels like. My husband and I collided heads when he came to bed, and his being the larger and heavier of the two, mine absorbed most of the impact. The result? A concussion, leaving my brain less than what I normally think of as functional. Reading is difficult for me, partially because I'm having trouble with focus and partially because it makes my head feel funny to hang forward like this. Playing any form of video game, even something as simple as solitaire, makes me feel completed nauseated. I kind of feel like I'm experiencing all of the sensation of my ecstatic trance of last week . . . except without the ecstatic trance. The whole experience has been fascinating, and while I am aware of at least part of the message--always, always, always follow your intuition!--I suspect there's another piece looming in the background, waiting for me to become aware of its presence. I will keep you posted on what I discover.

Today, mostly I feel a surge of gratitude. I am grateful for the little improvement I already feel in my mental functionality. I am grateful not to be at the hospital, bored and lonely, but with my husband and cats, soaking up the beauty and colors and vibrancy of life. I am grateful for my ability to find humor in just about anything--apparently protective headgear is recommended for concussion prevention, so now I'm looking for a sleeping helmet. And I am grateful that honestly, my "getting hit over the head" kind of messages are getting gentler--in the past I've had things like car accidents come up with much more intense injuries and longer lasting ramifications. Thank god for increasing awareness!

I picked up one of my favorite books last night, Earth Prayers, as I was going to bed, looking for some inspiration to set the tone for my sleep. I thumbed through its many poems and prayers, old friends that provide equal parts comfort and inspiration. Plus, they're often short, so I could read them successfully! I wanted to share with you one of my many favorites, a poem by Harriet Kofalk . . .

Awakening
in a moment of peace
I give thanks
to the source of all peace

as I set forth
into the day
the birds sing
with new voices
and I listen
with new ears
and give thanks

nearby
the flower called Angel's Trumpet
blows
in the breeze
and I give thanks

my feet touch the grass
still wet with dew
and I give thanks
both to my mother earth
for sustaining my steps
and to the seas
cycling once again
to bring forth new life

the dewdrops
become jewelled
with the morning's sun-fire
and I give thanks

you can see forever
when the vision is clear
in this moment
each moment
I give thanks

Photo: "Angel's trumpet," originally uploaded by Jack French

3 comments:

Jennifer Carden said...
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Jenn Sheridan said...
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Fran said...

My teacher, August Gold, says that Life is always speaking to us and that everything that happens TO us, happens FOR us. Since you are already looking at this experience in this way, it will be fun to watch what unfolds for you!