Inspiration: One Day My Soul Just Opened Up

Evocative words full of emotion and power create new favorites, even upon first readings. This poem by Gemmia Vanzant was one of those. Introduced to me relatively recently, I could feel my heart opening up on its first reading, taking me to a deep place within me, awakening me to my own sense of freedom.


One Day My Soul Just Opened Up
by Gemmia L. Vanzant

One day my soul just opened up
and things started happenin'
things I can't quite explain
I mean
I cried and cried like never before
I cried tears of ten thousand mothers
I couldn't even feel anything because
I cried 'til I was numb.

One day my soul just opened up
I felt this overwhelming pride
what I was proud of
only God knows!
Like the pride of a hundred thousand fathers
basking in the glory of their newborn sons
I was grinnin' from ear to ear!

One day my soul just opened up
I started laughing
and I laughed for what seemed like forever
wasn't nothin' particularly funny goin' on
but I laughed anyhow
I laughed the joy of a million children playin'
in the mud
I laughed 'til my sides ached
Oh God! It felt so good!

One day, my soul just opened up
There were revelations, annihilations, and resolutions
feelings of doubt and betrayal, vengeance and forgive-
ness, memories of things I'd seen and done before
of places I'd been, although I don't know when
there were lives I'd lived
people I'd loved
battles I'd fought
victories I'd won
and wars I'd lost.

One day my soul just opened up
and out poured all the things
I'd been hiding
and denying
and living through
that had just happened moments before.

One day, my soul just opened up
and I decided
I was good and ready!
I was good and ready
to surrender
my life to God.

So, with my soul wide open,
I sat down
wrote Her a note
and told her so.

Photo: "Woohoooo for fall!!!!!!!!," originally uploaded by Eden Keller

Inspiration: My Sweet, Crushed Angel

I took a class on mystics a few years back, the idea being that we all have access to connect with the divine but that a mystic is one who lives in that connection most of the time. I wrote my paper for that class on Hāfez, predominantly because of the way this particularly poem of his moved me. While not as famous as his fellow Sufi poet, Rumi, I've always loved the passion and imagery in Hāfez's words.

My Sweet, Crushed Angel
by Hāfez

You have not danced so badly, my dear,
Trying to hold hands with the Beautiful One.

You have waltzed with great style,
My sweet, crushed angel,
To have ever neared God's heart at all.

Our Partner is notoriously difficult to follow,
And even His best musicians are not always easy
To hear.

So what if the music has stopped for a while.

So what
If the price of admission to the Divine
Is out of reach tonight.

So what, my dear,
If you do not have the ante to gamble for Real Love.

The mind and the body are famous
For holding the heart ransom,

But Hafiz knows the Beloved's eternal habits.

Have patience,

For He will not be able to resist your longing
For Long.

You have not danced so badly, my dear,
Trying to kiss the Beautiful One.

You have actually waltzed with tremendous style,
O my sweet,
O my sweet crushed angel.

Photo: "Angel," originally uploaded by Jessica

Inspiration: Keeping Quiet

One of the joys of sharing some of my favorite inspiration with you this week is that they are truly favorites, comfortable old friends who bring me such joy to revisit them. I've seen several different translations of this simple Neruda poem, each with a slightly different meaning. This one is soft and gentle yet intense and powerful, evocative, I feel, of the message Neruda was trying to convey. All I know is that whenever I hear it, I just want to be still and sink into the quiet and peace that is always present within me.

Keeping Quiet
by Pablo Neruda

And now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth
let’s not speak in any language,
let’s stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines,
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.

Fisherman in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would not look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas,
wars with fire,
victory with no survivors, would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
(Life is what it is about,
I want no truck with death.)

If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.

Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.

Now I’ll count up to twelve,
and you keep quiet and I will go.

Photo: "Stillness," originally uploaded by Diana Andreea Mărgărit

Inspiration: The Invitation

I remember when Oriah Mountain Dreamer's The Invitation was just an email being forwarded from friend to friend. It was relatively early in the friend-spamming-friend era, but you still got more of those emails than "real" emails and it was tough to pick and choose which ones were worth your time. I know that I usually just skimmed those emails and deleted them, barely absorbing the messages within. This email was different, however. I remember doing my usual skim and then stopping, returning to the first line to read each word and allow it to truly sink in. To this day, I still get "Spirit bumps" when I read her words. I feel my whole body tingle with aliveness and I yearn to "dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of [my] fingers and toes." This is definitely a message about living life to its fullest, celebrating life in all its glory, and learning to fly.

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon . . .
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Photo: "Big Range Austin Dance Festival," originally uploaded by Andrew Baron

Inspiration: Wild Geese

I am in a place right now where I just want to soak up all the beauty and joy and love that is in the world. And so, with that in mind, this week I'd like to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to share some truly beautiful and moving words with you, the kind of words that inspire me to want both to write and to spread my wings and fly.

When I got out Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation this afternoon, the book fell open to a poem that brings tears to my eyes almost every time I hear its first line. Mary Oliver's words move me tangibly--I can feel them more than I can hear them even, vibrating within my being. I hope you find them inspirational too.

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Photo: "Wild Geese," originally uploaded by John Wigham

David Elkins quote

Authentic spirituality awakens the soul, reconnects us with the sacred, and fills us with the passion of life. Spiritual development is not about religious rituals and practices; it is about waking up to the wonder of life.

~David N. Elkins

Friday funny

An engineer's guide to cats--appropriate for "normal" people too. I find that laughing out loud clears my system like nothing else. Enjoy!

Living from the right brain

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
~The Dalai Lama

This video of neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor describing her experience while having a stroke has come to me from several different sources lately. I was finally able to download and watch it yesterday and wow, now I know why. If you haven't heard about this video or had time to watch it yet, I cannot recommend enough taking the time to watch it now. I would not be surprised if you found it the best spent 18 minutes of your day today.



This idea of right brain vs. left brain has been coming up all over the place recently. It is definitely related to the divine dichotomy--we are all One, yet we are each of us unique individuals--and is related to our balance of feminine and masculine energies. This video really helped clarify how it is all connected, and also gave me a way of looking at it whereby I can begin choosing to live from my right brain.

Now don't worry, I have no intention of throwing the baby out with the bathwater and disassociating myself from the left brain, mind-based, masculine energy side of me. It's just that it has been in the driver's seat for most of my life already, and I really want to engage the right brain, spirit-based, feminine energy side of me, at the very least creating a sense of balance in my life. What I'm looking to do now is to develop practices that strengthen my right brain, enabling it to become the dominant place that I'm operating from.

There are quite a few benefits to this practice that I can see. Perhaps the most obvious one for me right now is that so far I've had a heck of a time turning off the running commentary of my left brain. Mostly it is a distraction from my truth and it very rarely provides anything useful, except for when the commentary is obviously fear-based and then I can use it as a guiding light (i.e. do what the fear is telling me NOT to do). A new idea for me is developing this sense of not knowing where I end and the rest of the universe begins. I've had this experience in meditation or when I first wake up in the morning or while on the natural high induced by music and dancing, but recognizing its source makes me realize that it is an awareness that is always with me on some level, open to me all of the time.

I heard a story recently of a woman who recognized that she was allowing her left brain to dictate her reaction to a situation--she literally took a step to the right and allowed herself to respond from this part of her instead. What came out of her mouth surprised even her, but it came from her intuition, her inner wisdom, and resonated with a much deeper truth for her. I've also been experimenting with writing with my left hand, which allows me to naturally and easily tap into that intuitive place. Are you interested in experimenting with engaging more of your right brain? What kinds of activities do you find work for you? I know I'm excited to begin living from my right brain--let me know how it goes for you too! Namaste.

Photo: "***Creativity***," originally uploaded by Angela Mengoa

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A New Earth -- Finding Who You Truly Are

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the seventh week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

"Knowing yourself deeply has nothing to do with whatever ideas are floating around in your mind. Knowing yourself is to be rooted in Being, instead of lost in your mind."
~Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

I swear, the A New Earth webinars with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle are just getting better and better. Each week we get to dive deeper and deeper into the present moment, deeper and deeper into one of the most important things we can learn, as Oprah said on Monday, which is to live life from a place of acceptance, of non-resistance to the present moment.

The three levels of every situation
One of the callers this week spoke of being highly sensitive, which leaves her often overwhelmed. I think Eckhart's answer can be applied to anyone, sensitive or not, in any situation that is dredging up any type of negative emotion. Eckhart spoke of there being three levels to every situation.

1. What is happening: The first level of a situation is whatever is happening at this moment that is disturbing you (i.e. traffic, long lines at the store, loud noises).
2. Your reaction to what is happening: The second level of a situation is your reaction to what is happening, whether it's a physical reaction (i.e. a contraction in your stomach) or an emotional reaction (i.e. overwhelment, frustration, irritation, annoyance, anger) or a thought pattern (i.e. I'm miserable, I can't stand this any longer).
3. Your awareness of both of these levels: The third level is your awareness of the situation and your reaction to it, where there's no judgment, it's just purely observation.

When we let go of having our self-concept tied up in the way we react to things (like being highly sensitive) and accept what is happening in the now without judgment, we release old patterns of behavior that have left us feeling trapped. This is where true freedom lies.

Reaction vs. Response
I loved the distinction between REACTION and RESPONSE that I got out of this week's class. Reaction comes from your ego, and always has a piece of what the ego expects to get out of the situation. Reaction is a conditioned response, based in the past and therefore never totally adequate to the present moment. Response comes from a place of truth, from your inner being, your inner wisdom, without judgment or negativity. When responding to a challenging person from a place of awareness, your intuition will provide the right words for the situation. It might be what the other person needs to hear or it could just be the truth you need to speak in that moment, but it will come up without negative emotion or attachment.

Abundance comes only to those who already have it.
This idea is one that I think many people have trouble really wrapping their minds around. I know when I was growing up, I didn't understand the full meaning of Jesus's words, "For whoever has, to him more shall be given; and whoever does not have, even what he has shall be taken away from him." But once you understand that abundance comes from within, that it is the divine birthright of each and everyone of us, a light begins to shine on the meaning. We are all abundant--those who recognize this truth live this truth, and money flows to them like a river; those who do not believe this to be true live from a place of lack, and lack flows to them like a river. So how do you turn things around in your life? Begin by recognizing the abundance that is already present in your life. If you don't see abundance anywhere, you aren't looking closely enough. Abundance isn't just in your bank account--it's in the abundance of fresh product at the supermarket, the abundance of flowering plants in a garden, the abundance of blue in the sky. Appreciate what is around you, truly feeling grateful for it. Oprah even suggested keeping a gratitude journal, where every day you write down at least 5 things you are grateful for. Another way to truly recognize your own abundance is to give to others whatever it is you feel you are lacking. Anyone who can give, already has, and therefore is able to receive more in return.

I've been expressing my gratitude all over the place today. I'm grateful for the beautiful contrast between the blue sky and green trees outside my window. I'm grateful for the love of my wonderful cats and husband. I'm grateful to be home with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle today. I'm grateful to this path and to all that I've learned. I'm grateful for the little deck garden I created with lettuce and herbs. I'm grateful to have a large deck that can double as an outdoor dining room. I could keep going and going and going . . . So, what are you grateful for this week? Today? In this moment? Soak up that appreciation, write it down, and keep looking for all the good, all the bounty, that is already present in your life. Namaste.

Photo: "Revealing," originally uploaded by Kjunstorm

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Let go and flow!

I was thinking this morning about the concept of paying taxes as a way to essentially force circulation into the economy. From a metaphysical perspective, holding on to anything--money or otherwise--stops the flow in and out of your life. The law of circulation says the more you give, the more you receive. When we think about taxes negatively, as something that is being taken away from us, that's another way to block the flow of energy for us. I'd like to shift that around today and recognize that I am giving this money, that it is part of the divine flow and a symbol of the circulation of money in my life. Just in writing that here, I already feel better about the checks I am mailing today and know that paying my taxes with love and trust is another way that I can open myself up to that divine flow. Care to join me?

I'd like to share with you an excerpt from Eric Butterworth's The Universe is Calling that I've always found inspirational. He's talking here about what it is we hold on to that keeps us small, keeps us trapped, but I think about these monkeys every time I'm holding on to anything too tightly.

     "An interesting system has been used for capturing monkeys in the jungles of Africa. The goal is to take the monkeys alive and unharmed for shipment to the zoos of America. In an extremely humane way, the captors use heavy bottles, with long narrow necks, into which they deposit a handful of sweet-smelling nuts. The bottles are dropped on the jungle floor, and the captors return the next morning to find a monkey trapped next to each bottle. How is it accomplished? The monkey, attracted by the aromatic scent of the nuts, comes to investigate the bottle, puts its arm down the long narrow necks, closes its hand around the nuts, and is trapped. The monkey can't take its hand out of the bottle as long as it's holding the nuts, but it is unwilling to open its hand and let them go. The bottle is too heavy to carry away . . . so the monkey is trapped. . . .

     Here is an imaging exercise for you to work with: Take [an] inventory, listing all the challenges, conflicts and difficulties that you may have. Let them be symbolized by the nuts in the bottle with the long, narrow neck. Feel your hand clasping a nut. Feel the frustration and pain of entrapment. Ask yourself, 'Am I content to have this bottle? Do I really want to be free?' There is only one way. Open your hand and feel your arm slipping out of the bottle. You are free. You might say, 'I let go of resistance, resentment, and anxiety.' Let it all go. There is no way to gain freedom unless you let go. Even God cannot set you free unless you follow the freeing call to let go."

Photo: "go with the flow...," originally uploaded by muha...

Andy Warhol quote

They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

~Andy Warhol

Free

A friend of mine posted something on Facebook about Stevie Wonder's song FREE. Curious, of course I had to check it out. After almost 20 years, it's still a wonderful song with a wonderful message. Plus, it really meshes with the Zen approach to life I'm taking these days, seeking the true freedom that lies in surrender. Enjoy.



Artist: Stevie Wonder
Song: Free
Album: Characters
Website: http://www.steviewonder.net/
More Information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevie_Wonder

Free like the river
Flowing freely through infinity
Free to be sure of
What I am and who I need not be
Free from all worries
Worries prey on oneself's troubled mind
Freer than the clock's hands
Tickin' way the times
Freer than the meaning of free that man defines
Life running through me
Till I feel my father God has called

Me having nothin'
But possessing riches more than all
And I'm free
To be nowhere
But in every place I need to be
Freer than a sunbeam
Shining through my soul
Free from feelin' heat or knowing bitter cold
Free from conceiving the beginning
For that's the infinite start

I'm gone - gone but still living
Life goes on without a beating heart

Free like a vision
That the mind of only you can see

Freer than a raindrop
Falling from the sky
Freer than a smile in a baby's sleepin' eyes

I'm free like a river
Flowin' freely through infinity
I'm free to be sure of what
I am and who I need not to be
I'm much freer - like the meaning of the word free that crazy man defines
Free - free like the vision that
The mind of only you are ever gonna see
Free like the river my life
Goes on and on through infinity

What does "work" mean to you?

Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
~Harvey Mackay

The title of today's post on one of the blogs I read totally caught my attention this morning: Killer Career Advice Goes manga, meet Johnny Bunko. Intrigued, I clicked through and discovered what promises to be an awesome way to transform the concept of career planning in the form of a manga career guide. The best part? The video trailer promoting the book:


Johnny Bunko trailer from Daniel Pink on Vimeo.

Obviously, only having heard about The Adventures of Johnny Bunko this morning, I haven't read it yet, but it really got me thinking about how the consciousness shift across the planet is changing everything, literally everything. It is possible that mine will be the last generation burdened with the idea that work is drudgery, just something to get through so you can enjoy the rest of your life. While many people of all generations have broken free of that belief, the generation that is graduating from college in this decade is benefiting from the awakening that has been happening. They tend to have higher expectations about work as something that had better be fulfilling since you spend more time doing that than just about anything else you do in your life.

For me, work was always a struggle based in conflicting beliefs. On one side, I knew that if you do what you love, the money will follow. On the other side, I believed that work was, well, work, something that was difficult and complex and the harder you worked at it, the more you would be rewarded. The problems for me in breaking free, or so I told myself, were that I didn't know what it was that I loved and that I was just too practical not to have a "real job" while I was figuring that out. What has become clear over the years is really that fear was keeping me small--the longer I stayed at jobs that I didn't love, the longer I could stay "safe" by blaming the job for my unhappiness. If I took a risk and became a writer or healer or spiritual mentor, then there was a chance that I would fail, that I would discover I was mediocre, that I didn't have any true gifts to share with the world.

Since I left my job in September, I've really focused on turning my concept of the word "work" around. "Work" and "play" are no longer opposites for me. I've come to think of it more as you would "a work of art." It's a matter of where you place your attention, what you're putting your energy into, the product of your natural creativity. While I do not have "a job," I invest a lot of time and energy in my work right now--my work is to live my life as fully as I know how to today. Some days that includes activities that earn me money and some days that doesn't--I still have some unlearning and relearning to do, but there is daily progress on that front. At the end of the day, I judge whether my time was well-spent by how much joy I've experienced, whether or not there's a smile on my face, how authentically I showed up in the world today. The more that happens, the more the work I'm doing is seen as valuable to someone else and I am compensated.

How do you define "work"? Do you feel that your current work is your life's work? What steps can you take today to shift that concept for yourself? Join me this week in being part of the consciousness shift taking place around "work." Doesn't it make life more fun? Namaste.

Photo: "cubicle," originally uploaded by Kat

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Hugging back

Something I was reading this week recommended hugging a tree, saying that if you get still and pay attention you should feel the tree hugging back. Somewhat by accident, I ended up participating in a tree hug fest yesterday, and I am so glad that I did. What a magnificent way to connect with nature and the universe. Booyah!

I've been feeling the pull towards the beach this week--it takes about 30 minutes to get over to Half Moon Bay and I tend to fill my days with so much busyness that I don't feel I have time to make the journey. Every time I go I think, wow, it's so close, why don't I do this more often? The intellect can be so silly sometimes. Turning it off and letting the greater wisdom within me do the thinking always nets better results.

So while I was there I had two goals: to walk my 3-mile walk for my Avon Walk for Breast Cancer training, and to soak up as much beauty and peace and, well, beach as I could. It was absolutely gorgeous when I arrived--a deep blue sky reflecting into the sparkling blue ocean, relatively warm (I'm thinking mid-60s), a handful of fluffy, white clouds. I set off in a northerly direction along a path that ran along the top of the cliff. At some point I reached an easy access point to head down to the beach and I did, walking along the water and just enjoying the smell, the way the clouds dancing across the sun cast shadows on the sand, the feeling of the sand giving way beneath my feet.

When I turned around to head back the other way I realized that dark, heavy clouds were coming in, slowly obscuring the sun, but it was an almost tangible blanket with distinct edges--when you looked out to the horizon you could see the sun reflecting off the water on the other side a few miles out. It was absolutely breathtaking in its own way. On the way back I made a game out of walking in my own footsteps, half running in the sand and laughing at my own silliness. At the car, I knew I was having too much fun to go home, so I just kept walking past it towards a clump of trees I saw hanging on the edge of the cliff.

And man, as much fun as I had walking on the beach, exploring these trees was definitely the highlight of my day. It's only Thursday and I don't want to squelch any upcoming joy, otherwise I'd claim it as the highlight of my week! I had to cross a little bridge to reach this grove of cypresses and it was like crossing into another world. A deep peace fell over me and I felt as though I'd walked into a large cathedral with the kind of deep energy that collects over many years of reverence. My steps got very slow and I could feel my energy shift in response to the trees, keeping the playfulness but almost mutating it into a sense of celebration, a joie de vivre, that resonated all the way to my core.

There was a single cypress hanging off the edge of the cliff, completely bent so that its top ran almost parallel to the ground. I walked up to it and wrapped my arms around it, resting my chin on its bark and looking out over its vista. I'd been soaking up the beauty of the beach for almost an hour, but it was like I was seeing it for the first time, I was seeing it from the tree's vantage point. I stood there for a few minutes, soaking up the energy of the tree, not even really conscious of the fact that my toes were just a couple of inches from the edge of a cliff. I just felt so safe, so centered, so grounded, so connected.

The next tree I came to was sticking out of the earth at about a 45 degree angle. It wasn't one I could really hug, so instead I ran my hands along it, really seeing it through my palms and fingers, feeling the intricacies of its bark. There were a couple of knots that looked a bit like the deep, soulful eyes of a horse or a whale or something, and I looked deeply into them, feeling like I was looking into the tree's soul. The tree emanated such a sense of grace, and I felt honored to have it share its presence with me.

After that, I ran through the clumps of trees I found and explored them like I was a little kid, seeing them as great places to play games, making different rooms out of the trees' canopies, seeing how many I could walk between along the edge of the cliff without going back out to the path. These trees brought me to a place of such joy and gratitude. I felt childlike in their presence, totally in awe of them, yet having so much fun with them.

I am so grateful to have had this experience yesterday. I needed this connection, this reminder of the magnificence of the universe and my place in it. And now I know exactly where I can go if I ever need help reaching a place of peace and serenity. The grace of these trees will always show me the way. Namaste.

Photo: "the lone cypress as seen from the 17 mile drive," originally uploaded by Vaidyanathan Krishnan

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A New Earth -- Breaking Free

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the sixth week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

"The next step in human evolution is not inevitable, but for the first time in the history of our planet, it can be a conscious choice."
~Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

It was another great week with Oprah, Eckhart Tolle, and A New Earth. I'm loving the ongoing awakening that is happening within me and in the world around me. Can you feel it? It's almost tangible. And it's completely infected my language these days--I find myself speaking about ego and awareness and staying present even to people who don't necessarily know what it is I'm talking about. I figure if they don't understand what I'm saying they can always ask me, right?

The Monster Within, Take Two
Last week I talked about my big Aha! surrounding the pain-body in me and in those around me. What was so wonderful about this week was recognizing how simple it is to disconnect from your pain-body. Naturally, many people want to know how they can be free of the pain-body and how long it will take to attain that freedom. Eckhart spoke about how it is really a matter of disidentifying with the pain-body through your awareness of its presence within you. All it takes is this moment, the only moment there is, to see that the pain-body has been triggered and to become aware of it. It's such a beautiful culmination of everything we've been talking about here. Being present, being aware of this moment, enables you to recognize your identification with the pain-body in that moment and be free. That doesn't mean it won't come back again, but what it means is that the more aware you are, the more present you are, the less power the pain-body can ever have over you, because it requires unconsciousness to continue its reign of terror in your mind and body.

True Love
I loved listening to Eckhart talk about love this week. It totally reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves." Love is not about wanting or needing, it isn't about what you get from another person, it isn't about romance, and it certainly isn't about wanting another person to change in any way. Eckhart spoke about true love as being the recognition of the essence of the other person, of the divinity within each and every human being. It is truly Namaste, defined by Namaste.org as, "The Light of God in Me recognizes and honors The Light of God in You and in that recognition is our Oneness." When we are with someone that we love exactly as they are, requiring nothing from them, just allowing them to be, then we are experiencing true love.

Traffic as an Opportunity
At the end of this week's webinar, Oprah and Eckhart were talking about how many people get frustrated in traffic and how they just don't understand how people can experience road rage. I've spent more time in the car with people intolerant of traffic to be able to claim a lack of understanding--it is easy to see the unconsciousness slip over them. Eckhart talks about it being a matter of taking the traffic personally, which totally resonated with me. Everyone else who is on the road is just as absorbed in their own world as you are, so of course having them move into your lane in front of you isn't personal--how could it be? They barely even notice there's another human being in that car, and they definitely don't know it's you. The only thing that is happening here is that you are reacting to a situation that is completely out of your control. Getting upset, feeling stressed out about it does not change the situation in the slightest--it just makes it even more intolerable for you. Eckhart spoke about this as being a wonderful opportunity to practice your awareness, and in that case, the more traffic the better. If your car isn't moving at all, you can even close your eyes for a brief breathing meditation or practice feeling the aliveness within your body. Whether you tend to find traffic frustrating or not, take the opportunity this week to use traffic to your advantage--I bet it will transform your time in the car, and ultimately will leave you feeling more centered, more connected, more awake, and more aware. Namaste.

Photo: "Love is being stupid together," originally uploaded by Nattu

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Two of my favorite things

My meditation altar

I feel like a kid in a candy store. The last few weeks I've been indulging in a few new toys that I am just loving playing with. As part of this shift, I cleared out one of my bookshelves and turned it into a sort of altar. It is now home to my abalone shell with a sage smudge stick, a couple of Buddhas, rocks I collected in Sedona and Utah, my pendulum and crystal, and some cards whose images and messages I just love. I'm using it as a place to display my daily angel card and tarot card as well. It just has such a lovely warm-and-fuzzy feeling to it. I've been meditating on the floor in front of this altar for the past week or so--certainly not as comfy as my couch, but I do like the way the energy is building in this space. While I hate to play favorites with my new toys, the Osho Zen Tarot cards are so much fun I've been a little like a doting grandmother with them, showing them off to anyone who cares to listen. Whether you've been reading cards for 30 years or are brand new to the concept, these are sure to captivate you. Beautiful and insightful.

My love ferns

When Sean and I got married two years ago, our friend Don put together some absolutely beautiful calla lily bouquets for me and my bridesmaids to carry. As an accent to that, he also picked up two potted calla lilies that were used to adorn the area of the patio where the ceremony was held. I dubbed them my "love ferns" after the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I was a wee bit worried about my ability to keep them alive--while I no longer consider my thumb to be completely brown, it is far from green and I tend to surround myself with plants of the variety Those That Can't Be Killed. The love ferns live out on the deck and I water them somewhat sporadically; while they always seem to recover from my dry spells I wouldn't have called them thriving . . . until now. The last few months I've been much more conscious of my plants, watering them much more consistently and talking to them regularly. As a reward for my attention, the calla lilies bloomed for the first time since the wedding. They've been absolutely gorgeous and such a treat to view out on the deck each day. Definitely motivation to continue being good to them!

Koyaanisqatsi

I just read an awesome article, "Pearls Before Breakfast," by Gene Weingarten. A friend had posted something on Facebook about it having won a Pulitzer and, curious, I googled it. When I read newspaper stories, at best I skim them, usually really just reading the first couple of paragraphs. This may be the first time I've ever read every word. In addition to being well-written, its concept was fascinating--what happens when a world-renowned violinist dons the role of street musician during rush hour--and turned out to be an incredibly interesting commentary on what appears to be the American way of self-absorption and not paying attention. Life out of balance, which is what the Hopi word "Koyaanisqatsi" means.

Take a few minutes to read the article--it is definitely worth it--and please use the comments to let me know what came up for you.

Ray Bradbury quote

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

~Ray Bradbury

Gentler still

The pollen count has been pretty high lately, leaving me a little sniffly and sneezy this week. I've honestly barely noticed it there's been so much other stuff going on . . . until today. The appearance of allergies has turned into the appearance of a cold, and my head feels so stuffy I can barely think. The funny thing is, all of my messages for today were to just be, not to act, to allow and sit in the silence, to be receptive and let the universe do the work. Unfortunately, my body must have thought I wouldn't listen to these messages and so it created something that would force me into stillness. I have to laugh because this is gentler than many of my other recent messages, so it would appear the "Gently, please!" message has gotten across. Next up: recalibrating my body's idea of what "gently" means.

I'd like to share a favorite passage of Annie Dillard's originally from her book Teaching a Stone to Talk, although I found this excerpt in Life Prayers:

At a certain point you say to the woods, to the sea, to the mountains, the world, Now I am ready. Now I will stop and be wholly attentive. You empty yourself and wait, listening. After a time you hear it: there is nothing there. There is nothing but those things only, those created objects, discrete, growing or holding, or swaying, being rained on or raining, held, flooding or ebbing, standing, or spread. You feel the world's word as a tension, a hum, a single chorused note everywhere the same. This is it: this hum is the silence . . .

The silence is all there is. It is the alpha and the omega. It is God's brooding over the face of the waters; it is the blended note of the ten thousand things, the whine of wings. You take a step in the right direction to pray to this silence, and even to address the prayer to "World." Distinctions blur. Quit your tents. Pray without ceasing.

Photo: "gentle curve," originally uploaded by yugoQ

Notes from Jenn's World

Just a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Friends abound!

I had lunch with former colleagues of mine, Mary and Maria, I'm heading out shortly for coffee with Annelene, a buddy from the Hoffman Process, and then Jerry, a friend from my former spiritual community, is in town so a bunch of us are joining him for dinner this evening. Considering how much time I spend by myself most days, it feels good to be reconnecting with so many wise and wonderful people today. Life is good!

Avon Walk for Breast Cancer

It is so much fun to be training for this walk coming up in July--I just love watching my body and mind get stronger as the weeks progress. I am moving up to 8 miles Saturday, 5 miles Sunday in my training program this weekend. I went for a wonderful 3-mile walk today up at the reservoir--it was so warm and sunny and the air smelled so sweet. Aaaah . . . And, of course, everyone's generous donations keep coming in. I'm up to 37% of my personal goal and 74% of my requirement. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Spiritual Fitness

It's official! I'm kicking off my first class in a few weeks, based on the book Spiritual Fitness by the wonderful Caroline Reynolds. Preparing for this class is already so much fun--I can't wait to get into the material with everyone! If you're interested, you can check out my new website jennsheridan.wordpress.com and click on the Classes tab for more information. Yes, it's true, I am in the process of creating a new website for myself, which means ultimately I will be moving away from this one. As wonderful as this platform has been for blogging, as I branch out into new arenas, I need greater flexibility from my website. I'm still working out the kinks over there and would love feedback as I go, so please check it out and let me know what you think!

Gratitude

I am just feeling so grateful to life and to this path today. I received my first tithe from a friend who has been enjoying Learning to Fly. This experiencing in exploring life and then getting to share it has been such an amazing ride for me that sometimes I forget that folks are out there reading as well, and it is inspiring to me that they find inspiration in what I write. So it's just a big tumble of gratitude happening here all the way around. I love all the feedback I get in all its myriad forms--it's such an affirmation of the work I'm doing. Thank you!

So, what's going on with you? What are you grateful for? I'd love to hear all about any flow and synchronicity you are experiencing in your life. It truly is a wonderful world we live in. Namaste.