Emerson quote

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way we stand

I love that Earth Day is celebrated with such vigor these days. Or maybe it just seems like that because so many of my friends on Facebook chose to proclaim their love and gratitude for Mother Earth this week. But it helped create a sense of celebration in me, anyway, and opened me up to that deep connection we all share with each other and with the energy of our beautiful planet. So really, it's no surprise that this morning I was drawn to that favorite of mine, Earth Prayers. And within this phenomenal collection of "prayers, poems, and invocations for honoring the earth," I was drawn to one of my favorite pieces of Susan Griffin's that speaks so eloquently to that connection. Enjoy, and namaste.

The way we stand, you can see we have grown up this way together, out of the same soil, with the same rains, leaning in the same way towards the sun. See how we lean together in the same direction. How the dead limbs of one of us rest in the branches of another. How those branches have grown around the limbs. How the two are inseparable. And if you look, you can see the different ways we have taken this place into us. Magnolia, loblolly bay, sweet gum, Southern bayberry, Pacific bayberry; wherever we grow there are many of us; Monterey pine, sugar pine, white-bark pine, four-leaf pine, single-leaf pine, bristle-cone pine, foxtail pine, Torrey pine, Western red pine, Jeffrey pine, bishop pine.

And we are various, and amazing in our variety, and our differences multiply, so that edge after edge of the endlessness of possibility is exposed. You know we have grown this way for years. And to no purpose you can understand. Yet what you fail to know we know, and the knowing is in us, how we have grown this way, why these years were not one of them heedless, why we are shaped the way we are, not all straight to your purpose, but to ours. And how we are each purpose, how each cell, how light and soil are in us, how we are in the soil, how we are in the air, how we are both infinitesimal and great and how we are infinitely without any purpose you can see, in the way we stand, each alone, yet none of us separable, none of us beautiful when separate but all exquisite as we stand, each moment heeded in this cycle, no detail unlovely.

~ Susan Griffin from Earth Prayers

Photo: "Path Through the Trees," originally uploaded by Tony

Rumi quote

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

~ Rumi

Notes from Jenn's World

I'm sorry for going a week without posting anything. There was definitely a lot going on--one of these days I'll find that balance where I can be busy and active and still write blog posts. But in the meantime, let's catch back up with a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Reiki
I was very excited to receive my first degree Reiki attunement last weekend. I've been loving playing with the Divine in a new way through the Reiki healing energies. After learning how to give a table session, it occurred to me that I've been using a form of Reiki energy on myself and loved ones for a while now, I just didn't know that's what it was. But it was wonderful to learn how to channel the energy in new and more concrete ways, and I'm having fun practicing with both the standard forms and following my intuition.

Rock Band
Have you felt the pull of the game Rock Band? It's a game sort of in the same vein as Guitar Hero, where you wield a guitar-shaped controller and play a Simon-like game of hitting the right button and strumming at the right time to make the right note play on the screen. Rock Band takes this genre one step farther by introducing the drums and a vocal track. I have a "band" with my husband and two friends of ours (I'm the singer), so Saturday we tackled the Endless Set List--58 songs in a row. It was an absolute blast--exhausting, but the kind of serious fun that could be bottled and sold for big bucks. I suspect it's because it appeals to several aspects of you at once: my inner child loves it because it's playing, my creative self loves it because it feels like creative expression even as you're mimicking the original song, my body loves it because it can dance a little as I go. Fun for the whole family. Next up--a real band. It may take us a while to get it together, but we plan to start pulling out real instruments and seeing if we can't make some music together. Or at the very least, continue to just have a really good time.

Chihuly exhibit
After spending the day in San Francisco yesterday exploring the Chihuly exhibit at the deYoung Museum and enjoying hanging out with a new friend I met while training for the Avon Walk, I feel absolutely full. Chihuly's work is so full of joy and creative expression that it makes me feel like I am full of joy and creative expression. I totally want to learn how to do what I'm thinking of now as "fire art," i.e. anything that uses fire in order to come into being, like blowing glass or making pottery or what have you. I've always loved to draw and paint, but I like the idea of having a 3-D, very tangible presence at the end of your creative expression. I'll let you know if anything come of this urge.

Guinea pigs
So I am currently looking for "guinea pigs," people I can practice energy work on (or with). I am opening myself up to do more and more with energy, both on the giving end, like with Reiki, and on the reading end, like with the way I do tarot readings. I'm learning a new way of doing energy readings related to the chakras and suspect that about the time I'm getting a handle on that, a new way of reading energy will be given to me. So please do let me know if you'd be willing to let me practice and experiment by giving you an energy reading. At this moment in time, I am looking for Bay Area guinea pigs only, but I will definitely let you know when I am ready to expand to long-distance!

So what's new in your world? How have you been entertaining yourself? Are all of your different aspects feeling involved in your life? What kinds of new and exciting things have you been learning? I'd love to hear all about the growth and fun happening in your life right now. Namaste.

Photo: "Chihuly glass at the Bellagio," originally uploaded by Joe Flood

Reconnecting

"When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."
~Will Rogers

We all have those moments, days, weeks where it feels like we can't keep up, we aren't centered or grounded, we're separated from Source. I don't know about you, but when it happens to me, I have this sense that it will require a grand gesture to turn it around. Missed a few days of meditation? Then I must need an hour-long meditation plus two more hours of spiritual practice to catch back up. And then when I don't have the time or make the time for such a long practice, I judge myself as lacking and sink deeper into the darkness.

The thing is, of course, we're never completely closed off from Source and no matter how disconnected we feel, reconnection is literally only a breath away. Once the awakening has begun, once you've had a taste of the experience of your deep connection to Source, it doesn't take much to bring you back there. Here are a few simple tools you can use throughout your day to either help you remain connected or reconnect you as needed:

Breathing. We are constantly breathing, in and out, all day long, each and every day. It is something we are generally unconscious of, but try bringing your consciousness to this natural process, recognizing with each breath that you are alive in this moment, right now. Do this for a few moments or a few minutes, depending on where you are and how much time you have. It's amazing how this simple technique can bring you quickly back to yourself, to you as observer, as awareness, to the now.

Be Here Now. The key to happiness is to stay present in this moment. I find that a simple mantra can work wonders in helping me remain present when I find my mind wandering into past and future events. I've been using "Be Here Now" recently, although any mantra will work. I've also been playing with the idea that whatever I am doing right now, it is my life's purpose to be doing it, and so I remind myself of that as I work. It is a great way to turn any activity into a meditation and almost always brings me up out of whatever dark thoughts were trying to take hold in my mind into the space of light and peace that is always available in the now.

Music. Listening to music can be a quick and easy way to reconnect. Our bodies are energy and we are all vibrating. Music is also a vibration, and when the two vibrations meet, we can experience a deep harmony. I know for me there are a few tracks that from the first note I feel myself transported. If you don't already know what works for you in this way, I recommend exploring the many examples that are available these days developed with the intention of positively affecting people's vibration. My current favorite is Jonathan Goldman's Waves of Light, although I also enjoy the Brainwave Suite and the second track of Kelly Howell's Retrieve Your Destiny. The Globe Institute for Sound Therapy & Healing is a great resource as well. They have a collection of CDs available in their store with demos for you to sample. When you visit their website, they have a selection playing, "Awakening," that instantly transports me, and I often leave the page open in the background while I'm working so that I can stay in that sense of the divine no matter what I'm doing.

Nature. If you have a wee bit more time, try connecting with the natural world. If there's a park or a forest nearby, go for a short walk. Try taking off your shoes, feeling the grass or dirt beneath your feet. Connecting with the earth directly is a quick and easy way to literally ground yourself through the earth's energy. When you don't have nature readily at hand, try observing the flora and fauna around you. Flowers in a vase, a house plant, a pet, a bird outside your window -- take a few moments to really experience these examples of life that can be found just about everywhere, using each of your senses. You may feel how they radiate energy just like you do. Or you may just notice their simple beauty. Whatever comes up for you, the natural world provides so many examples of the essence of life that it can become a great way for you to reconnect with your own sense of that essence within you.

The key here is really it only takes a moment to remember what it is we already know--that we are one with the Source of all life and that the only moment that truly is is this one. When we come into that awareness, we are in contact with the power of the universe, with the divine. Try playing with a few of these tools this week, maybe by setting up a reminder alarm to go off a few times throughout the day or by using them when you start to feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness. I think you'll find it only takes a moment to turn your day around. Good luck, have fun, and let me know how it goes! Namaste.

Photo: "That my life would depend on the morning sun," originally uploaded by ThunderChild the Magnificent

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Inspiration: The Invitation

I remember when Oriah Mountain Dreamer's The Invitation was just an email being forwarded from friend to friend. It was relatively early in the friend-spamming-friend era, but you still got more of those emails than "real" emails and it was tough to pick and choose which ones were worth your time. I know that I usually just skimmed those emails and deleted them, barely absorbing the messages within. This email was different, however. I remember doing my usual skim and then stopping, returning to the first line to read each word and allow it to truly sink in. To this day, I still get "Spirit bumps" when I read her words. I feel my whole body tingle with aliveness and I yearn to "dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of [my] fingers and toes." This is definitely a message about living life to its fullest, celebrating life in all its glory, and learning to fly.

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon . . .
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Photo: "Big Range Austin Dance Festival," originally uploaded by Andrew Baron

Inspiration: Wild Geese

I am in a place right now where I just want to soak up all the beauty and joy and love that is in the world. And so, with that in mind, this week I'd like to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to share some truly beautiful and moving words with you, the kind of words that inspire me to want both to write and to spread my wings and fly.

When I got out Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation this afternoon, the book fell open to a poem that brings tears to my eyes almost every time I hear its first line. Mary Oliver's words move me tangibly--I can feel them more than I can hear them even, vibrating within my being. I hope you find them inspirational too.

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Photo: "Wild Geese," originally uploaded by John Wigham

A New Earth -- Finding Who You Truly Are

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the seventh week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

"Knowing yourself deeply has nothing to do with whatever ideas are floating around in your mind. Knowing yourself is to be rooted in Being, instead of lost in your mind."
~Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

I swear, the A New Earth webinars with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle are just getting better and better. Each week we get to dive deeper and deeper into the present moment, deeper and deeper into one of the most important things we can learn, as Oprah said on Monday, which is to live life from a place of acceptance, of non-resistance to the present moment.

The three levels of every situation
One of the callers this week spoke of being highly sensitive, which leaves her often overwhelmed. I think Eckhart's answer can be applied to anyone, sensitive or not, in any situation that is dredging up any type of negative emotion. Eckhart spoke of there being three levels to every situation.

1. What is happening: The first level of a situation is whatever is happening at this moment that is disturbing you (i.e. traffic, long lines at the store, loud noises).
2. Your reaction to what is happening: The second level of a situation is your reaction to what is happening, whether it's a physical reaction (i.e. a contraction in your stomach) or an emotional reaction (i.e. overwhelment, frustration, irritation, annoyance, anger) or a thought pattern (i.e. I'm miserable, I can't stand this any longer).
3. Your awareness of both of these levels: The third level is your awareness of the situation and your reaction to it, where there's no judgment, it's just purely observation.

When we let go of having our self-concept tied up in the way we react to things (like being highly sensitive) and accept what is happening in the now without judgment, we release old patterns of behavior that have left us feeling trapped. This is where true freedom lies.

Reaction vs. Response
I loved the distinction between REACTION and RESPONSE that I got out of this week's class. Reaction comes from your ego, and always has a piece of what the ego expects to get out of the situation. Reaction is a conditioned response, based in the past and therefore never totally adequate to the present moment. Response comes from a place of truth, from your inner being, your inner wisdom, without judgment or negativity. When responding to a challenging person from a place of awareness, your intuition will provide the right words for the situation. It might be what the other person needs to hear or it could just be the truth you need to speak in that moment, but it will come up without negative emotion or attachment.

Abundance comes only to those who already have it.
This idea is one that I think many people have trouble really wrapping their minds around. I know when I was growing up, I didn't understand the full meaning of Jesus's words, "For whoever has, to him more shall be given; and whoever does not have, even what he has shall be taken away from him." But once you understand that abundance comes from within, that it is the divine birthright of each and everyone of us, a light begins to shine on the meaning. We are all abundant--those who recognize this truth live this truth, and money flows to them like a river; those who do not believe this to be true live from a place of lack, and lack flows to them like a river. So how do you turn things around in your life? Begin by recognizing the abundance that is already present in your life. If you don't see abundance anywhere, you aren't looking closely enough. Abundance isn't just in your bank account--it's in the abundance of fresh product at the supermarket, the abundance of flowering plants in a garden, the abundance of blue in the sky. Appreciate what is around you, truly feeling grateful for it. Oprah even suggested keeping a gratitude journal, where every day you write down at least 5 things you are grateful for. Another way to truly recognize your own abundance is to give to others whatever it is you feel you are lacking. Anyone who can give, already has, and therefore is able to receive more in return.

I've been expressing my gratitude all over the place today. I'm grateful for the beautiful contrast between the blue sky and green trees outside my window. I'm grateful for the love of my wonderful cats and husband. I'm grateful to be home with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle today. I'm grateful to this path and to all that I've learned. I'm grateful for the little deck garden I created with lettuce and herbs. I'm grateful to have a large deck that can double as an outdoor dining room. I could keep going and going and going . . . So, what are you grateful for this week? Today? In this moment? Soak up that appreciation, write it down, and keep looking for all the good, all the bounty, that is already present in your life. Namaste.

Photo: "Revealing," originally uploaded by Kjunstorm

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Hugging back

Something I was reading this week recommended hugging a tree, saying that if you get still and pay attention you should feel the tree hugging back. Somewhat by accident, I ended up participating in a tree hug fest yesterday, and I am so glad that I did. What a magnificent way to connect with nature and the universe. Booyah!

I've been feeling the pull towards the beach this week--it takes about 30 minutes to get over to Half Moon Bay and I tend to fill my days with so much busyness that I don't feel I have time to make the journey. Every time I go I think, wow, it's so close, why don't I do this more often? The intellect can be so silly sometimes. Turning it off and letting the greater wisdom within me do the thinking always nets better results.

So while I was there I had two goals: to walk my 3-mile walk for my Avon Walk for Breast Cancer training, and to soak up as much beauty and peace and, well, beach as I could. It was absolutely gorgeous when I arrived--a deep blue sky reflecting into the sparkling blue ocean, relatively warm (I'm thinking mid-60s), a handful of fluffy, white clouds. I set off in a northerly direction along a path that ran along the top of the cliff. At some point I reached an easy access point to head down to the beach and I did, walking along the water and just enjoying the smell, the way the clouds dancing across the sun cast shadows on the sand, the feeling of the sand giving way beneath my feet.

When I turned around to head back the other way I realized that dark, heavy clouds were coming in, slowly obscuring the sun, but it was an almost tangible blanket with distinct edges--when you looked out to the horizon you could see the sun reflecting off the water on the other side a few miles out. It was absolutely breathtaking in its own way. On the way back I made a game out of walking in my own footsteps, half running in the sand and laughing at my own silliness. At the car, I knew I was having too much fun to go home, so I just kept walking past it towards a clump of trees I saw hanging on the edge of the cliff.

And man, as much fun as I had walking on the beach, exploring these trees was definitely the highlight of my day. It's only Thursday and I don't want to squelch any upcoming joy, otherwise I'd claim it as the highlight of my week! I had to cross a little bridge to reach this grove of cypresses and it was like crossing into another world. A deep peace fell over me and I felt as though I'd walked into a large cathedral with the kind of deep energy that collects over many years of reverence. My steps got very slow and I could feel my energy shift in response to the trees, keeping the playfulness but almost mutating it into a sense of celebration, a joie de vivre, that resonated all the way to my core.

There was a single cypress hanging off the edge of the cliff, completely bent so that its top ran almost parallel to the ground. I walked up to it and wrapped my arms around it, resting my chin on its bark and looking out over its vista. I'd been soaking up the beauty of the beach for almost an hour, but it was like I was seeing it for the first time, I was seeing it from the tree's vantage point. I stood there for a few minutes, soaking up the energy of the tree, not even really conscious of the fact that my toes were just a couple of inches from the edge of a cliff. I just felt so safe, so centered, so grounded, so connected.

The next tree I came to was sticking out of the earth at about a 45 degree angle. It wasn't one I could really hug, so instead I ran my hands along it, really seeing it through my palms and fingers, feeling the intricacies of its bark. There were a couple of knots that looked a bit like the deep, soulful eyes of a horse or a whale or something, and I looked deeply into them, feeling like I was looking into the tree's soul. The tree emanated such a sense of grace, and I felt honored to have it share its presence with me.

After that, I ran through the clumps of trees I found and explored them like I was a little kid, seeing them as great places to play games, making different rooms out of the trees' canopies, seeing how many I could walk between along the edge of the cliff without going back out to the path. These trees brought me to a place of such joy and gratitude. I felt childlike in their presence, totally in awe of them, yet having so much fun with them.

I am so grateful to have had this experience yesterday. I needed this connection, this reminder of the magnificence of the universe and my place in it. And now I know exactly where I can go if I ever need help reaching a place of peace and serenity. The grace of these trees will always show me the way. Namaste.

Photo: "the lone cypress as seen from the 17 mile drive," originally uploaded by Vaidyanathan Krishnan

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Two of my favorite things

My meditation altar

I feel like a kid in a candy store. The last few weeks I've been indulging in a few new toys that I am just loving playing with. As part of this shift, I cleared out one of my bookshelves and turned it into a sort of altar. It is now home to my abalone shell with a sage smudge stick, a couple of Buddhas, rocks I collected in Sedona and Utah, my pendulum and crystal, and some cards whose images and messages I just love. I'm using it as a place to display my daily angel card and tarot card as well. It just has such a lovely warm-and-fuzzy feeling to it. I've been meditating on the floor in front of this altar for the past week or so--certainly not as comfy as my couch, but I do like the way the energy is building in this space. While I hate to play favorites with my new toys, the Osho Zen Tarot cards are so much fun I've been a little like a doting grandmother with them, showing them off to anyone who cares to listen. Whether you've been reading cards for 30 years or are brand new to the concept, these are sure to captivate you. Beautiful and insightful.

My love ferns

When Sean and I got married two years ago, our friend Don put together some absolutely beautiful calla lily bouquets for me and my bridesmaids to carry. As an accent to that, he also picked up two potted calla lilies that were used to adorn the area of the patio where the ceremony was held. I dubbed them my "love ferns" after the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I was a wee bit worried about my ability to keep them alive--while I no longer consider my thumb to be completely brown, it is far from green and I tend to surround myself with plants of the variety Those That Can't Be Killed. The love ferns live out on the deck and I water them somewhat sporadically; while they always seem to recover from my dry spells I wouldn't have called them thriving . . . until now. The last few months I've been much more conscious of my plants, watering them much more consistently and talking to them regularly. As a reward for my attention, the calla lilies bloomed for the first time since the wedding. They've been absolutely gorgeous and such a treat to view out on the deck each day. Definitely motivation to continue being good to them!

Koyaanisqatsi

I just read an awesome article, "Pearls Before Breakfast," by Gene Weingarten. A friend had posted something on Facebook about it having won a Pulitzer and, curious, I googled it. When I read newspaper stories, at best I skim them, usually really just reading the first couple of paragraphs. This may be the first time I've ever read every word. In addition to being well-written, its concept was fascinating--what happens when a world-renowned violinist dons the role of street musician during rush hour--and turned out to be an incredibly interesting commentary on what appears to be the American way of self-absorption and not paying attention. Life out of balance, which is what the Hopi word "Koyaanisqatsi" means.

Take a few minutes to read the article--it is definitely worth it--and please use the comments to let me know what came up for you.

A New Earth: The Flowering of Human Consciousness

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the first week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

I just want to start by saying how awesome I think it is that over half a million people turned out for last night's A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose web event, where Oprah and Eckhart Tolle spoke with each other and several participants about the background of this book and the contents of the first chapter. Wow! What an incredibly exciting time to be awake and aware on this planet. From my perspective, even if only a small percentage really get this book, it will still be revolutionary in terms of a consciousness shift on our planet. That said, I was disappointed I didn't get to watch it "live." The huge turnout affected some people's ability to watch the webcast live, including mine--about 18 minutes into the 90-minute event, my viewer crashed completely and I wasn't able to get back in, so I downloaded it today to catch back up again.

While there is nothing new under the sun, getting a new perspective always brings new Aha! moments to light for me, and this was no exception. In addition to just enjoying Eckhart's gentle presence, I was pleased to feel a shift in me in watching this program even after having already read the first chapter twice through. Plus, the power of knowing how you are part of a global consciousness is simply amazing. Overall, I would say participating in this process is well worth just about anyone's time and attention. Here are the highlights from my perspective:

What does life want from me? So much of our energy gets focused on what it is that we want from life. When you're awakening to your life's purpose, a better question might be what does life want from me? Eckhart talked about asking this question everyday for years without an answer. When it finally came, he had an impulse, a feeling like something wanted to be born. Instead of coming to a place where he wanted to write a book, he realized that a book wanted to be written. I loved this concept of allowing your purpose to come through you in such a conscious manner. As much as I know in my head that life is answering your prayers through you, this concept opened up expansively for me with this slightly different way of looking at things. I will be interested to see how this affects the way that I view the messages I receive moving forward from here.

Global change begins within. This is one that I've known for years but always appreciate a deepening understanding. It is essentially Ghandi's thoughts on being the change you want to see in the world. If you look around you and see a world in need of a consciousness shift, then begin that consciousness shift in the only way you can--within yourself. In the case of A New Earth, it's about breaking down the dysfunction of the ego, the thing in your head that is constantly chattering, constantly throwing up thoughts and fears to distract you from being aware of who you really are. At a global level, this egoic dysfunction is the source of warfare, oppression, poverty, disease. If you want to be a part of mining this dysfunction from the world, begin by mining it within you, on the scale that is appropriate to you, which mostly means your negative, pessimistic, fear-based thoughts and patterns. Start by becoming aware and begin to shift yourself, and you will ultimately affect the world.

All you need is now. While our thought processes have evolved through thousands of years of conditioning, it doesn't take years and years to reverse. All you need is the present moment. Take a moment right now to breathe and notice the breath--that was you shifting your consciousness into the present, even if it was just for a second. It's the kind of exercise that can be practiced throughout the day. For me, appreciation of beauty is a huge way for me to connect with the oneness and return to the present moment. Driving, walking, looking out the window--take a moment to really soak up the beauty around you, to really see it and appreciate it. You will instantly feel the shift in your body, in your mind as you open up to this awareness. The more we can find these moments throughout the day, the more we are shifting our thought processes away from the old patterns and habits that our ego is holding onto into the awareness of who we really are. Eckhart suggests any time you do a simple action, like washing your hands or walking up the stairs, pull your consciousness fully into that action. When you're on your way to work, really be on your way to work, not there already in your head. Now is the only moment you have--make sure you are experiencing it.

Towards the end of the program an email came in about whether or not the world is ready for this type of shift. The answer lies in a different question, the only question any of us can really answer--am I ready? When I ask this question of myself, I know for sure that I am ready (and now doubly motivated) to take time each day to pay attention, to experience the stillness in the present moment, to ask life what it wants from me. What about you, are you ready?

Photo: "lotus-blooming," originally uploaded by Jun

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Step 6: Come Out of Hiding

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

When I woke up this morning, the world was covered in a blanket of fog. I love mornings like this, when it looks like I'm all alone on top of the hill and there's nothing past the edge of my balcony. As the morning progresses the fog lifts and ultimately burns off, revealing the beauty of the world it was hiding from me earlier. While the fog is beautiful in its own right, what lies beneath contains a much deeper, more vibrant beauty. Very appropriate, then, that today I get to talk about coming out of hiding and unleashing your inner beauty that is begging to be revealed.

Whether you are aware of its presence of not, each of us has something special, something unique to share with the world. As children, we often learn that being different is a bad thing, and yearn to be just like everyone else. We ask our parents to dress us in the same clothes the other kids are wearing, enroll us in the same activities our friends are engaged in, watch the same TV shows and movies, play the same games, eat the same foods. Even when we rebel we tend to do in along some socially acceptable guidelines, just falling into another clique with its own rules for how to fit in. As adults, this same idea shows up in the kinds of work we do, the places we live, the cars we drive. This conformity is all outwardly focused as we worry about how other people view us, looking for external accolades to make us feel like we're really doing okay.

Your uniqueness, your specialness often gets hidden away in all of this, which is somewhat ironic considering the surest way to really feel like you're doing okay is uncover your gifts and share them with the world. There are quite a few forces at play here--need for approval, discomfort with vulnerability, lack of belief in yourself, fear of commitment, of making a mistake. I know for me that the process of eliminating these issues is ongoing and somewhat circular--the more I learn about myself and the world I live in, the more what I know to be true really sinks in, the more I can release these issues and allow the real me to come out and play. For me coming out of hiding is a practice, like meditation, that I make a priority every day, with three primary pieces to it:

1. There's no such thing as a mistake. I don't know where I first got the idea that mistakes were something to be avoided like the plague, especially since now I recognize there really is no such thing. When I look back over my life I know now that I would not choose to have anything play out differently, because each moment in time makes me who I am today. The relationships that turned sour, the jobs that didn't lead where I'd hoped they would--I learned so much from each of them, knowledge I get to use now as my life unfolds in the direction of my dreams.

The natural extension of this is that there is no such thing as failure. The world's most successful people are also the world's biggest failures in the sense that they have explored many different avenues in life until they found the one (or the many) that worked for them. Without that experimentation, those supposed mistakes and failures, they would not have discovered where their true talents lay, where their success would be. The lesson I take away from all this is that I need to explore more, try more, put myself out there as much as I can. Not everything I attempt will result in success, but that's okay--I know to keep learning, keep trying new things, keep exploring until I find what works, and then explore some more in order to expand that success into new realms.

2. What you think of me is none of your business. There are days where I need to write this in foot-tall letters and display it prominently around me. The gist here is that we do not need external approval. Seeking the approval of other people means you're living someone else's life, not your own. The point is to discover what makes you happy and then do it. If people want to approve or disapprove, that's their prerogative. Trust me, even when you're doing things that impress those people whose approval you're seeking, they often find ways to disapprove anyway. How they feel is about just that--how THEY feel and what's up for them right now--it really doesn't have anything to do with you.

Harold Whitman offers me better inspiration: “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” I try to ask myself this question everyday--what makes me come alive? Some of my answers so far: loving my friends and family, myself, my world; connecting with people, with Source; dancing (with and without music); learning new things; living consciously; making a difference in other people's lives, in the world; creating just about anything; being in nature; and, perhaps most of all, laughing.

3. Will the real me please stand up? One of my daily goals is to allow the real me to stand up and announce its presence with authority. In fact, that was the first sentence I wrote when I was putting together my initial notes for this topic--this idea just speaks to me in such a huge way right now. The persona I developed as a child was shy, with very few opinions of her own, a follower. I was somewhat surprised to discover that my natural state, although always open to learning new things, was to be very clear on how I feel about things, to be a teacher and a leader, and while I am introverted in the sense that I get my energy through my time alone, I love to meet new people, to spend time with my friends and family, to share and connect.

I've learned to stop labeling myself, to stop trying to pigeonhole myself, to allow myself just to be who I am with all of my quirks and differences, and I'm learning to apply that concept to others as well. What I'm still working on is integrating all of the different parts of me into one cohesive whole, and then showing up as simply myself when I go out into the world. I am spiritual, I am playful, I am peaceful, I am powerful. The more I show up like this, the more clarity I have about my choices, and the more the universe seems to open up, provide me with the answers I'm looking for, and say "Yes, please!"

What parts of yourself have you been hiding from the rest of the world? What gifts do you have that are still waiting to be shared? In what ways are you not showing up authentically? What seeds are you ready to plant today, and what is ready to blossom inside you? What makes you truly come alive? Start asking yourself these questions and others like them today. Begin the process of exploring, of experimenting, and come back and let us know what you've learned!

Recommended Reading:
The Holy Man, by Susan Trott
Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by M.D. Herbert Norton
Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation, edited by Roger Housden
What Should I Do with My Life?, by Po Bronson

Photo: Coming out blues, Originally uploaded by Jurek Durczak

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Happy Valentine's Day!

I love Google's doodles, the way they play with their logo on google.com for holidays and whatnot. Today's is especially sweet. It reminds me of our friends Rhoda and Sydney, not because they're like that image really, but because they are the one example I can think of a couple who has been together for more than 50 years and who are still utterly devoted to each other. They're truly inspirational.

Today, I am running behind schedule. I had high aspirations for what I was going to accomplish today, but that all went out the window when I decided that it was time to reorganize the "pantry" area in my kitchen or else. Honestly, it was a highly cost effective use of my time, and I feel so much lighter for having done it, but now I'm trying to squeeze in a 3 mile walk, grocery shopping, bathing, and making dinner in the remainder of my afternoon, all while remembering that today is a day to open up your heart and to experience all of the love that is in the world. I'm not really Valentine's Day's biggest fan, but it seems like a good excuse for me this year to practice opening up, romance, and loving unconditionally, and to notice all the sweetness and beauty around me. Enjoy.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What A Wonderful World

Okay, so it's Valentine's Day and what's more appropriate than a song that warms your heart every time you listen to it? Not to mention, it was our wedding recessional, picked out on one of Sean's more romantic days. Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's medley of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "What a Wonderful World" has become iconic, representing all that is good and sweet and loving in the world. You hear it everywhere--in TV shows, commercials, movies, at the mall. I found a plethora of videos on YouTube that use this song; my favorite is embedded below.

During a time of great stress (a.k.a. wedding planning while starting a new job and trying to go to grad school), it brought such a sense of calm over me, and still does every time I hear it. Take a few moments today to listen to this song, and relax into the peace and beauty it embodies. Mahalo.

Artist: Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Song: Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What A Wonderful World
Album: Facing Future
More Information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Israel_Kamakawiwo'ole



(Okay, this one's for Gabby)
(Ooh ooh...)

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dream of
Once in a lullaby
Oh, somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dream of
Dreams really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me

Oh, somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?
Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying I, I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I?

(Ooh ooh...)

California

Today is one of those days where you truly appreciate Joni Mitchell's song California. No matter how beautiful the rest of the world is, California is home. "So I bought me a ticket / I caught a plane to Spain / Went to a party down a red dirt road / There were lots of pretty people there / Reading Rolling Stone, reading Vogue / They said, how long can you hang around? / I said a week, maybe two / Just until my skin turns brown / Then I'm going home to California / California I'm coming home / Oh will you take me as I am / Strung out on another man / California I'm coming home."

It was 75 and sunny today, the prototypical beautiful California day. Plus, my cleaning lady came today--I know, such a splurge but SO worth it--so I vacated the premises for the afternoon. I went for a walk around downtown. I meditated by a fountain. I infected people with my smiling, so that as I passed they broke out into big grins as well. I browsed an arts and crafts store, imagining all the creative projects I could undertake. I hung out at Starbucks and watched the people come and go, read a book. It was pure bliss. And then when I came home, my apartment smelled like that wonderful smell that tells me Vilma has been here, everything is clean and in its place and the world is orderly and wonderful, and I felt as close to perfection as I probably ever will. Ah yes, today was absolutely fantastic.

I wonder what new and exciting fun tomorrow will bring?

Strength

One of the joys of being between jobs is the flexibility inherent in the situation. If I wake up in the morning and need to spend some time on forgiveness work, I can. If a book falls off a shelf asking to be read, I can follow that urge. If nature is calling me out into its luscious depths, I can pack up and go for a walk. I am spending a lot of time listening and following the guidance I receive. Ultimately, my hope is that it will lead me to an income source, so a lot of my focus is on my life's purpose and seeing what the next step on that path looks like.

Earlier this week, the daily "big idea" email I get from thinkArete.com was about Dr. Mark Seligman's Authentic Happiness. The short idea is that if you figure out what your strengths are and use them, you will find happiness. I was, of course, intrigued and checked out the Authentic Happiness website and discovered a whole slew of interesting looking questionnaires, including the one calling to me -- Signature Strengths. My results were both unsurprising and edifying, and I feel compelled to share the top five (of 24) with you today.

My top strength is Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith. Not surprising considering how much time I am currently dedicating to my connection to my Source. I would guess that if I had taken this questionnaire a year ago, this would not have turned up number one, but today it truly is the best thing I have going for me and the source of the contentment I find in each day.

My second strength is Appreciation of beauty and excellence. This is definitely one that I try to cultivate. I happen to believe I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, so most days this is easy, but I can find beauty in anything, anyone, anywhere.

My third strength is Love of learning. Oh, if Ms. Tinsley could just see me now. I was the bane of many a schoolteacher's existence -- that kid who didn't pay attention in class, never did her homework, but still did well on tests. I always had an affinity for learning, but was so often bored it didn't come out in school until I was about halfway through college. As an adult, learning is a source of great pleasure for me, and I find myself taking classes whenever I can.

My fourth strength is Perspective (wisdom). Who knew I was so wise? I definitely do believe that we each hold a unique perspective, and mine is valuable precisely because it is uniquely mine. The unique perspectives of other individuals help me to hone my own, and I hope vice versa. The world is such an interesting place full of such interesting people. And hey, I'm one of them!

My fifth strength is Capacity to love and be loved. I love just about everyone I come in contact with. Now, that doesn't mean I always like them, but I can always find something in them to love. I am also blessed with parents whose love for me I have never had reason to doubt, affectionate and loving family members, a burgeoning family of choice (aka my friends), and the love of a supportive husband and adoring cats. It's a good place to be.

I love having the opportunity to explore and celebrate my strengths. I have spent too much of my life being my own biggest critic, focusing on all of my weaknesses and flaws. Just thinking about my strengths brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. Isn't that a much better place to live? I already feel that authentic happiness flooding into my life, and I've only just begun. Namaste.

Sunrise, Sunset

It is 4 o'clock in the afternoon and it feels like the sun just rose. We're in the midst of several days of stormy weather -- and I mean stormy, lots and lots of wind, rain and even thunder and lightening, unheard of around here -- and over the past hour the rain started to let up and the sky got lighter until finally the sun came out. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm reminded of the Ray Bradbury story "All Summer in a Day" where the sun comes out every seven years for one hour. A melodramatic comparison, I know, but it's amazing how much a little sun can turn my energy around. I've spent my day feeling blah with very little energy, not feeling motivated to do anything -- I played Civ this morning instead of meditating and doing my morning pages -- but now that the sun is out I feel like dancing around the living room in my underwear. Or something.

All in time for the sun to set. Okay, we've got about an hour, but it is kind of funny timing. I bet it will be a beautiful one with lots of pinks and purples reflected in the clouds that are still lingering, reminders of how recently we were granted a reprieve. It's easy to get spoiled by beautiful weather living in California. I choose to view days like this as gifts, enabling me to soak up the contrast created between the downpour and the sun and find the beauty in all of it. I'm so grateful for my sunrise this afternoon, and I anticipate a beautiful sunset to follow shortly. May you find beauty in this day as well. Namaste.

Dead Poets Society Quote

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And, the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, 'O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless -- of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these O me, O life? Answer. That you are here -- that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.' That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

~John Keating in Dead Poets Society

Greetings from Connecticut

I feel a little like I'm living in a postcard this week. I'd love to find one of those old fashioned "greetings" cards. I could upload the photo for you. :) Being back in Connecticut is always an experience for me. In some respects, it's awesome. I get to see places I hung out as a teenager -- as much as they've been transformed, they still bring back memories. I get to see good friends and family that I just never can connect with enough from 3,000 miles away. But there's always reminders of the reasons why I left, the obnoxious people on the streets and the attitudes out at restaurants and stores.

But this trip has been different, more positive than negative. I've been trying to put my finger on the why of it, and it seems like it's a matter of attachment (or lack thereof). I'm just not feeling attached to anything. Now, that might not sound like a good thing. It might smack of apathy or indifference. But that's not it at all. I'm much more present this trip. I'm not experiencing Connecticut through the eyes of the past, I'm actually seeing it as it is now. I'm enjoying its beauty and not being bugged as much by its flaws. I feel more contentment, less agita. I'm focusing on the yummy Chinese and Italian food, the beauty of the snow and the rivers and the trees, the joy of connecting with friends and family. I don't have a picture in my head of how things should be; instead, I'm just enjoying what is. There's a lot of power in that kind of detachment. And a lot more happiness.

Wish me luck with the remainder of my travels. Today I am off to New Jersey to continue this journey of contentment. Namaste.

Editor's Note, 12/30/07: I went back and found one of those postcards -- I love those images! I just started re-watching one of my favorite TV series of all times, Wonderfalls, and had forgotten that they use that type of postcard as part of the titles. I'm not sure which came first -- my love for the postcards or my love of the show, but the synchronicity is making me smile today.