Playing in the present

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. Close the door, change the record, clean the house. Stop being who you were, become who you are now.

~ Paulo Coelho

I'm watching my son as he rediscovers a toy. He's older now, more developed, and so the toy appeals to him in a new way. He's incredibly excited about it, as if it's a new plaything just given to him for his enjoyment today. Sometimes I simply marvel at him, at how everything is so new and exciting to him, even when it technically isn't. Each moment he experiences makes up such a huge percentage of his life-to-date, but that doesn't phase him; he is still completely present in each moment. But perhaps even more amazing is that he comes to each moment fresh. He has a memory -- that is evidenced by his surprise when something doesn't do what he expects it to -- but somehow he is still open to having a new experience.


I can learn so much from this little light who has chosen to grace my world. In these first ten months of his walking (now literally) this earth, most of the lessons have been about staying present. This fresh example is an especially vivid one for me today, because it is reminding me of how much baggage we bring into each situation we find ourselves in, and how rarely we are interacting with just that moment. There is so much freedom, so much JOY, in coming into the moment fresh and experiencing it for what it is.


This is especially important when we deal with other people, but oh so challenging. Can you imagine what it would be like if you interacted with your partner, your parent, your boss, your sibling as if experiencing them for the first time in each encounter? You could see them for who they are in that moment instead of whichever version of them you carry inside of you. It is so hard for us to let others be new, to change our image of them, but every day, every experience, changes us a little. Some experiences have larger and longer lasting effects than others. I know I'm still surprised by the changes I find in myself since becoming a mother, and probably more surprised by some of the things that haven't changed, but some of the things that are different about me today have subtler causes. I'm like a fine wine, mellowing with age. :)


I'm not completely sure what the takeaway here is for me today. Like most things, it isn't that this concept is new, but it feels more real, more accessible somehow. Perhaps the way that my son is my guide is by showing me things that I'm ready to (finally) learn. More likely, it's that my learning is cyclical, and I'm open to the next bit of opening up along my "staying present" axis. Whatever it is, I am ready to embrace another aspect of change in my life. As Heraclitus said, "Change is the only constant." And as I like to say, enjoy the ride. Namaste.

Photo: "Birthday Present," originally uploaded by Lachlan Hardy

Steve Jobs quote

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something . . . almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

~ Steve Jobs

Moving

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
~Albert Einstein

I love to move. Okay, so maybe the act of packing up all my belongings and actually locating them from one home to another isn't my favorite activity ever, but still, at the end of the day, I love to move. For me, moving is, like most things in my life, more of a spiritual exercise than a physical one. I love the way changes to my physical environment change the flow of energy--even when I'm not moving from one place to another, I periodically rearrange my furniture, shifting the things that fill the space and seeing how the new arrangement feels. I love the way moving gives you an opportunity to sort through the things accumulated on this journey through life, purging what is no longer needed and celebrating where you come from with the memories uncovered through the process. And I love how a new home represents a new era of your life--the good and the not-so-good, the new challenges and victories, the new experiences that will shape the next stage of your life, just the way your past experiences helped shape where you are today.

Like any transition, there's a sense of nostalgia involved. Whatever your reasons for wanting to be in a new place, whether it's a home, job, or relationship, the old place had it's good times. Our current home saw us moving from an era of financial difficulties to times of prosperity. This is where we lived when we got engaged, when we got married, and when we found out we were having a baby. This is the home where I spent the 15 months of my self-discovery and exploration, the place where my days began with the question of "What do I *want* to do today?" This is the home where I trained for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, walking up and down the incredibly steep hill that we're perched on. And this is the home where my breath never ceases to get taken away every time I drive down that hill to my apartment, and every time I step out onto the balcony, with its spectacular views of the bay, the bridges, and San Francisco.

At the same time, I am ready to begin creating the new memories that this next phase of our life will bring. As Christy Snow sings, "There is always change / And change is good." Life is always unfolding in new and wonderful ways. What transition are you in the midst of? How can you both savor where you're coming from and enjoy the movement into the new? We are living in exciting, change-filled times. And I, for one, am enjoying the ride. Namaste.

Photo: "Moving Day," originally uploaded by Osbornb

Writing on a blank slate

Try and be a sheet of paper with nothing on it. Be a spot of ground where nothing is growing, where something might be planted, a seed, possibly, from the Absolute.
~Rumi

New beginnings can be wonderful, feeling like a fresh start and a clean slate. If you're anything like me, you like to play with the idea of reinventing yourself, of becoming that person you've always wanted to be. But it may seem like often you find yourself falling back into old patterns more quickly than you might have expected. It is challenging to be a truly blank slate. The past is essentially a habit, and it shows up in the way we think and talk and act. We may think that we need a change of place or people in order to achieve that state of newness, but wherever you go there you are. Unless the change begins within, it isn't really change.

So it was with both nervousness and excitement that I started my new job in January. After a blissful 15 months without a "real job," I was looking forward to getting back into regular interaction with people and putting some new skills into practice. The time off had given me a real perspective shift and an opportunity to make some real and lasting (I hoped) changes to the way I thought about work. I was a little nervous about the apparent loss of my freedom, but I was mostly nervous that I might fall back into the same negative patterns that had left me so miserable at my last full-time job.

I've been there for six very intense weeks now, and while you could argue that isn't really long enough to know how things will play out long term, I have seen quite a bit of evidence that things really are different this time around. The time off to regroup and put some key concepts into practice outside of a full-time job enabled some new patterns to take root, and that investment seems to be paying off big time now that I am back in the workplace. And while I would not say that I have handled every situation that has come up perfectly, I've managed to stay calm and collected even when things have gotten pretty stressful, and on my best days, I feel like I'm demonstrating to my co-workers that balance can exist even within the midst of apparent chaos.

The best part about this experience is that it feels like I am creating it consciously. I had a choice about how I approached this from day one. I could either experience this job like many of my co-workers do, as a highly stressful and chaotic workplace that requires you to work around the clock. Or I could begin by knowing that a true work/life balance was possible for me here, and that it was an opportunity for me to show up not just as a good employee but as a spiritual individual, sowing seeds of peace. I look for, and find, the good in everyone I work with and in everything that I am doing, and I truly feel like while this might not be the Work I was born to do, it is definitely the work that I am meant to be doing at this moment in time.

I may not be a true blank slate, but I can take steps every day to overwrite past patterns with the new ways I choose to think and talk and act. What choices can you make today to begin to shift your perspective and enable change to begin to take place in your life? And are you noticing and appreciating even the smallest changes that are already showing up for you? This is my daily challenge to myself, to stay conscious and present enough to make a choice about how I respond to my work and who I show up as while I am at work, and then to appreciate the good that comes out of these choices, reinforcing the new patterns and allowing them to grow stronger. If you choose to take this challenge on for yourself, I would love to hear how it goes for you, and I wish you the best on your journey! Namaste.

Photo: "beginnings...," originally uploaded by Sir Mervs

Aristotle quote

Change in all things is sweet.

~Aristotle

Seeking the Source

It's been an upside-down and inside-out kind of month. With Thanksgiving approaching, I'm choosing to follow the wisdom of Rumi and seek my Source, relaxing back into Who I Am and what is truly important to me. It's a time for reflection and for connection. Enjoy the process. Namaste.

Seeking the Source
by Jelaluddin Rumi

a voice out of this world
calls on our souls
not to wait any more
get ready to move
to the original home

your real home
your real birth place
is up here with the heavens
let your soul take a flight
like a happy phoenix

you've been tied up
your feet in the mud
your body roped to a log
break loose your ties
get ready for the final flight

make your last journey
from this strange world
soar for the heights
where there is no more
separation of you and your home

God has created
your wings not to be dormant
as long as you are alive
you must try more and more
to use your wings to show you're alive

these wings of yours
are filled with quests and hopes
if they are not used
they will wither away
they will soon decay

you may not like
what i'm going to tell you
you are stuck
now you must seek
nothing but the source

Photo: "Let go," originally uploaded by Nataly

Shifting gears

Since everything is but an apparition perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may as well burst out in laughter.
~Long Chen Pa

I kind of got lost the last few weeks, and I'm guessing I'm not alone. I can certainly point to all of the wonderful things I've been doing and the sense of urgency around them as the unbalancing factor, however I suspect that underlying drumbeat that you can practically feel and hear around you everywhere you go would have permeated even my best attempts at staying centered and grounded.

Yes, tomorrow is Election Day. I'm guessing you would have to live in an unplugged bomb shelter somewhere to have missed what promises to be the largest election in America's history. What started out as an optimistic, hope-filled embrace, however, has turned into a conversation steeped in fear. When I'm not careful, I can feel the country's anxiety and negativity seeping through into my own consciousness, and don't fool yourself into thinking it's all the other side. No matter which candidate you are supporting, in the desperate final days prior to the election the national conversation seems to be centered around all the terrible things that would happen if the other guy won. It's hardly surprising considering the culture of fear we've been living in for at least the last eight years, but my challenge to myself and to the world today is to rise above this fear-based thinking and focus instead on your intention.

What got me excited about this election in the first place was that it represented an opportunity for another voice to be heard -- the voice of the optimistic, the spiritual but not religious, those who recognize that every moment represents a choice about how we're going to live today. In other words, my voice. I want for my country what I want for myself -- the opportunity to spread your wings and fly, to live life to its fullest, to experience expansion and freedom. And I recognize for my country what I recognize for myself -- the best way to encourage change in another is to begin with yourself.

And so when I got dressed this morning, I pulled out my LIVE MINDFULLY shirt as a reminder to myself to truly stay present and be mindful this week. Because no matter what happens tomorrow, it's all going to be okay. I'm not going to kid myself and say I won't be disappointed if my candidate doesn't win, but I have to remember that life is an unfoldment and an evolution, always moving me in the direction of my highest good. I set my intention, I make my choices, I get out there and do what I can do, but I also allow the unexpected to come in and show me possibilities I might not have thought of on my own. And most of all, what I want to remember is not what I am against, but instead that I am FOR change, I am FOR hope, I am FOR living life fully. Namaste.

Photo: "blown open," originally uploaded by sookie

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Things that make you go hmmm...

So many very cool articles and videos have come my way this week. As one friend mentioned, you can actually FEEL the shift happening right now, in this very moment. Very cool stuff. I'd like to share just two of the many inbound messages I've received along with a poem that feels very appropriate to the times from my dear "friend" Hāfez.

One Minute Shift
The Institute of Noetic Sciences has a website with one-minute videos dedicated to the concept of "shift." It's part of their Shift In Action program, which I just happen to be a member of. I viewed a handful of these videos today -- you really can't go wrong, they're great little slices of inspiration -- and my favorite was one by Marianne Williamson talking about how you don't need a majority to change the world, you just need 11%.



Obama as Lightworker
I really never thought I'd see the day when a political candidate of any kind was called a lightworker, especially not a presidential candidate. And while yes, it's the San Francisco Chronicle, and yes, it's an editorial, it was still pretty amazing reading this article. What do you think, are you a believer?

Awake Awhile
by Hāfez, translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Awake awhile.

It does not have to be
Forever,
Right now.

One step upon the Sky’s soft skirt
Would be enough.

Hafiz,
Awake awhile.
Just one True moment of Love
Will last for days.

Rest all your elaborate plans and tactics
For Knowing Him,
For they are all just frozen spring buds
Far,
So far from Summer’s Divine Gold.

Awake, my dear.
Be kind to your sleeping heart.
Take it out into the vast fields of Light
And let it breathe.

Say,
“Love,
give me back my wings.
Lift me,
lift me nearer.”

Say to the sun and moon,
say to our dear Friend,

"I will take You up now, Beloved,
On that wonderful Dance You promised!”

Photo: "Glimpse," originally uploaded by Bev Sykes

The Sonnets to Orpheus

The Sonnets to Orpheus, Part Two, XII

by Ranier Maria Rilke

Want the change. Be inspired by the flame
where everything shines as it disappears.
The artist, when sketching, loves nothing so much
as the curve of the body as it turns away.

What locks itself in sameness has congealed.
Is it safer to be gray and numb?
What turns hard becomes rigid
and is easily shattered.

Pour yourself out like a fountain.
Flow into the knowledge that what you are seeking
finishes often at the start, and, with ending, begins.

Every happiness is the child of a separation
it did not think it could survive. And Daphne, becoming a laurel,
dares you to become the wind.

Andy Warhol quote

They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

~Andy Warhol

A New Earth -- The Core of Ego

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the third week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

Awareness is the power that is concealed within the present moment. . . . The ultimate purpose of human existence, which is to say, your purpose, is to bring that power into this world.
~Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Another great week with the A New Earth web event based, of course, on another great chapter of the book A New Earth. I'm having a lot of fun with this process, especially knowing how widespread it is. Crossing the street to go to the theatre Sunday night, I overheard two women talking about the book and the webinars, women who probably wouldn't have come to this experience without Oprah's help. It totally feels like Oprah is inciting a revolution of consciousness, and I, for one, am happy to be a part of it!

As always, there is nothing new under the sun--Eckhart is simply providing a new perspective on spiritual teachings that have been available to us for millenia. There's just something about the way he does it, about his personal presence and his interplay with Oprah, that I'm finding truly inspirational and entirely practicable. I love taking this stuff out into the world each day and applying it in new ways and seeing what happens. Here are a few of the highlights from this week's class that I'm looking forward to playing with this week:

* Your true power lies in being yourself. This was the strongest message for me this week, even though it was a relatively small part of the class. Perhaps because someone like Oprah is involved in this process, the power of this concept becomes larger than life. As Oprah herself said, and Eckhart confirmed as well, Oprah's success has essentially been because of her ability to be herself on television. She spoke of her early career as an anchorwoman and how she would put on a persona when she was behind the desk, and how that broke down for her and she learned to be herself. Her show reaches so many viewers because people see her as genuine, as authentic, as someone they can relate to and talk to themselves. It calls to mind the idea that August Gold and so many others have talked about in terms of there being a place for you in this world and you are the only person who can fill it. You are unique, and when you show up fully as yourself, it's as if the universe recognizes an alignment and works to empower it even further.

* Change begins with you. There is only one person you can directly change and that is yourself. As much as we do not want those close to us to suffer, as much as we want to be able to help raise them out of their suffering, ultimately that responsibility is theirs. That's not to say that you cannot be there for them, support them, provide assistance to them, however the only person you can change in this situation is you. The best thing you can do for yourself, and ultimately for anyone, is to bring yourself into a place of awareness, of presence. Being present with your loved one, not wanting anything for them, just being conscious when you're with them, gives them a space in which they might be able to begin to heal. If you find your thoughts slipping into worry regularly, take time to get out of your mind and go into your body, feeling its aliveness, several times throughout the day. Worry itself is a condition of the ego--what is worry but thoughts chasing themselves around in a circle? It serves no purpose other than to pull you into the ego and keep you trapped in a place where it is difficult to stay present. Worry pretends to be necessary, but it doesn't actually have a useful purpose--becoming aware of this will help you to step back, detach from the worry, and help you to find the present moment, the only moment, the now.

* Complaining does not serve a purpose. Complaining, like worry, has no real purpose. It's a way of getting stuck in something that has happened in the past, but nothing comes of it. Complaining isn't usually intended to help correct a situation--it is more often a side effect of taking things personally and is tied up in the need to be right and make someone else wrong. When you bring someone else into the complaining, it's the ego's way of seeking validation and strengthening your position. Now, this does not mean that you cannot take action to bring about change in a situation. Eckhart's example from the second chapter was about what happens when the soup you ordered is served cold. If you pitch a fit and complain to your dinner companions and yell at the waiter making him wrong, then the ego has taken over. However, if you take the ego out of it, you can simply state what the situation is without negativity. You aren't making the waiter wrong, your ego is not invested in the outcome, you are just looking to rectify the situation and have a delicious meal. When your goal is to resolve a situation without blame, often things go much more smoothly--as the other people involved aren't being made to feel wrong, they aren't as likely to feel the need to make you wrong, reducing or eliminating the conflict.

* Consume mindfully. Someone called in about being aware of things she shouldn't do and doing them anyway, for example eating French fries or drinking too much. Eckhart spoke about how the ego lives in a constant state of "not enough," so it is always seeking things to fill itself up, like food or alcohol or things. The problem isn't the the consumption itself--the problem is in the overconsumption, going along with the ego's "more, more, more!" mentality. So don't ban yourself from eating French fries or drinking wine or having dessert, but bring mindfulness, awareness, consciousness into your consumption. When eating French fries, eat each one consciously, enjoying it, savoring every bite. Pay attention to your body as you go. It is likely that after a few French fries, your body will send signals letting you know it doesn't need any more, whether it's that you're not hungry any longer or they just aren't as pleasurable as they were when you started. The goal is to not pass this point from enjoyment into eating the French fries because they're there or because you're sad or whatnot. You can apply this to anything. When you're drinking a glass of wine, enjoy each sip until you reach the place where you've had enough. Savor each bite of tiramisu, but put your fork down after the last bite that truly feels pleasurable. The flavor and enjoyment is usually in the first couple of bites of anything. If you are truly present and listen to your body, you won't feel the need to overdo.

As always, it's about bringing more awareness into your daily life. This moment is the only one that is real, so notice it, experience it, be truly aware of it, then let it go and move on to the next one. It is literally a life-changing process, allowing you to awaken to your own magnificence. Have a little fun with it, and let me know how it goes! Namaste.

Photo: "Hypericum Chinense - Core," originally uploaded by Jun

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Shift happens

Today I would like to share with you what I hope is the first of many guest posts. As you travel the spiritual path, you come across many wonderful spirits, teachers, and friends. Rev. Melanie Colpaart is just one of these people. I feel blessed to have her in my life and hope you enjoy her warm wisdom.

Got something to pass through? Is it appearing a bit perilous and are you feeling a bit timid about the outcome? Choose a new idea about what it is you are "up against" in order to get to the other side. Is it possible to see an island paradise rather than a mountain perilous? And is there a boulder to push single-handedly up the mountain perilous? Why not sail through challenges rather than attempting to attack them with frustration. Ahh, sure, easy to say, not so easy to do, right?

Here's the trick (the jester said with a smile), ask yourself just what you are focusing on, truly focusing on. Is the focus on the obstacle to achieving a desired result, or is it on the desired result? Are you focusing on what is in your head, or what is in your heart? What you tend to focus on, IS what appears on your horizon, it is always for you to choose. Even in the midst of a disturbing event or challenge, how you choose to look at the situation is absolutely how the situation will show up and unfold. The trick is to absolutely keep your heart and mind in paradise to the extent you can muster, whenever possible. Complaining, griping, grousing does no good at all, it only allows the appearance of the bad to remain.

Sound a bit daunting, frustrating, unnerving? It might in the beginning, however with practice, changing how you approach situations will change the challenges that show up in your life experience, and this IS the truth. You have heard this before, haven't you? Every leader, teacher, spiritual mystic and avatar has said this same thing: "how, or what you believe in is how or what your life will be" (or something like that). They have said this for a very good reason--it is the way it is. It is up to you to make the difference in your own life, and by so doing, make a difference in the collective consciousness of our planet.

So, stop playing the victim or martyr and reclaim your power to sail through this paradise. Your island of peace and serenity is here for you as you journey AND it is here for you when you reach the other side of the pass you are moving through. Your paradise, or your peril is waiting for you to choose. So get to focusing on what you truly desire and it can and will appear for you now.

Rev. Melanie Colpaart is an Ordained Minister of Religious Science residing in beautiful Austin, Texas. She is a wife, stepmom, cat lover, traveler, hiker, sometimes golfer and friend to the wonderful Jenn, and so it is. :-)

Photo: This beautiful photo is one of Rev. Melanie's of a pass into a reef area at Rangiroa Tuamotus, in the Society Islands.

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A New Earth: The Flowering of Human Consciousness

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the first week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

I just want to start by saying how awesome I think it is that over half a million people turned out for last night's A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose web event, where Oprah and Eckhart Tolle spoke with each other and several participants about the background of this book and the contents of the first chapter. Wow! What an incredibly exciting time to be awake and aware on this planet. From my perspective, even if only a small percentage really get this book, it will still be revolutionary in terms of a consciousness shift on our planet. That said, I was disappointed I didn't get to watch it "live." The huge turnout affected some people's ability to watch the webcast live, including mine--about 18 minutes into the 90-minute event, my viewer crashed completely and I wasn't able to get back in, so I downloaded it today to catch back up again.

While there is nothing new under the sun, getting a new perspective always brings new Aha! moments to light for me, and this was no exception. In addition to just enjoying Eckhart's gentle presence, I was pleased to feel a shift in me in watching this program even after having already read the first chapter twice through. Plus, the power of knowing how you are part of a global consciousness is simply amazing. Overall, I would say participating in this process is well worth just about anyone's time and attention. Here are the highlights from my perspective:

What does life want from me? So much of our energy gets focused on what it is that we want from life. When you're awakening to your life's purpose, a better question might be what does life want from me? Eckhart talked about asking this question everyday for years without an answer. When it finally came, he had an impulse, a feeling like something wanted to be born. Instead of coming to a place where he wanted to write a book, he realized that a book wanted to be written. I loved this concept of allowing your purpose to come through you in such a conscious manner. As much as I know in my head that life is answering your prayers through you, this concept opened up expansively for me with this slightly different way of looking at things. I will be interested to see how this affects the way that I view the messages I receive moving forward from here.

Global change begins within. This is one that I've known for years but always appreciate a deepening understanding. It is essentially Ghandi's thoughts on being the change you want to see in the world. If you look around you and see a world in need of a consciousness shift, then begin that consciousness shift in the only way you can--within yourself. In the case of A New Earth, it's about breaking down the dysfunction of the ego, the thing in your head that is constantly chattering, constantly throwing up thoughts and fears to distract you from being aware of who you really are. At a global level, this egoic dysfunction is the source of warfare, oppression, poverty, disease. If you want to be a part of mining this dysfunction from the world, begin by mining it within you, on the scale that is appropriate to you, which mostly means your negative, pessimistic, fear-based thoughts and patterns. Start by becoming aware and begin to shift yourself, and you will ultimately affect the world.

All you need is now. While our thought processes have evolved through thousands of years of conditioning, it doesn't take years and years to reverse. All you need is the present moment. Take a moment right now to breathe and notice the breath--that was you shifting your consciousness into the present, even if it was just for a second. It's the kind of exercise that can be practiced throughout the day. For me, appreciation of beauty is a huge way for me to connect with the oneness and return to the present moment. Driving, walking, looking out the window--take a moment to really soak up the beauty around you, to really see it and appreciate it. You will instantly feel the shift in your body, in your mind as you open up to this awareness. The more we can find these moments throughout the day, the more we are shifting our thought processes away from the old patterns and habits that our ego is holding onto into the awareness of who we really are. Eckhart suggests any time you do a simple action, like washing your hands or walking up the stairs, pull your consciousness fully into that action. When you're on your way to work, really be on your way to work, not there already in your head. Now is the only moment you have--make sure you are experiencing it.

Towards the end of the program an email came in about whether or not the world is ready for this type of shift. The answer lies in a different question, the only question any of us can really answer--am I ready? When I ask this question of myself, I know for sure that I am ready (and now doubly motivated) to take time each day to pay attention, to experience the stillness in the present moment, to ask life what it wants from me. What about you, are you ready?

Photo: "lotus-blooming," originally uploaded by Jun

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Step 3: Shift Your Perspective

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

How would it be if everything that you thought you knew / Was turned upside down opposite from your point of view / How would you feel if the ground was really the sky and all of this time / you've been walkin' when you coulda been flying . . . ~Ellis, How Would It Be

Have you ever seen one of those images where if you look at it one way it looks like one thing, but if you shift your perspective it looks like something else entirely? There's the classic from Intro to Psych where the same image looks like an old lady or a young lady. Or the one where you can tell which side of the brain you are using depending on which direction the lady is spinning, and for some of us even switch the direction she is spinning in. Or really, just about any of M.C. Escher's work, where he plays with reality by throwing physics out the window. Perspective is part of what makes us human and is probably the best example of relativity I can think of because there is nothing permanent about it, nothing absolute--it can always be changed, shifted, adjusted as new information comes in or as we make new choices.

Choice is perhaps the most powerful concept available to anyone interested in making changes in their life. Dictionary.com offers at least a dozen definitions of choice; my favorites are 1) an act or instance of choosing; selection; 2) the right, power, or opportunity to choose; option; and 3) an alternative. This idea of selection, of opportunity, of options, of alternatives, can be applied to our lives in a myriad of ways. Let's start by looking at three:

1. Choose your reaction. How you react to what's happening to you and around you is a choice. Even just looking at life as a series of events that are happening to you is a choice. We are active participants in our lives with more power than most of us can imagine, let alone tap into, but a place that is (relatively) easy to start is with our reactions. When someone cuts in front of you in line at the store, you have a choice whether to view it as an active insult, an honest mistake, or not to care either way. When someone else is having a bad day and bites your head off, you have a choice about whether to get mad in return or to recognize where they're coming from and to see past the attitude. It's a matter of perspective, of where you're coming from and how you're feeling in that moment. Sometimes even just being aware that there are alternative ways to react to a situation diffuses it and provides you with what you need in order to take a step back, detach yourself, and choice a more positive perspective. Does this mean that suddenly the people around us in our lives aren't rude or whatnot? Not necessarily. The power in this is that it is 100% about you and what you choose to do with the situation--whatever is going on with the other person doesn't need to come into play, especially since the only person you have control over, really ever, is yourself.

2. Choose anew. Each moment is an opportunity to make a new choice. A teacher of mine used to say, "You aren't responsible for your first thought but you are responsible for your second thought." Especially when you're just learning how to shift your reactions to things, the first thing that comes up for you is often the familiar pattern or habit that's been with you for most of your life. It's okay, there's no need to beat yourself up here. This is a great opportunity to use that power of choice to shift your perspective and choose anew. While Scarlett O'Hara's observation that "tomorrow is another day" is definitely true, coming right up is another moment for you to use as you see fit. The goal here is to pay attention to your thoughts, your moods, whatever is happening right now and see if those reactions are really in your best interest in this moment. So let's say you're back at that store with the person cutting you off in line. If you find yourself getting angry and starting to mumble under your breath, pause for a moment, take a deep breath, maybe shake your hand or your foot a bit like you're letting the anger fall out of you, and find a thought that feels better. Maybe notice that it is difficult to tell where the line goes and it's a mistake that anyone could make, or perhaps conjure up some sympathy when you see that the person is obviously distraught and just not paying attention, or even just laugh it off. Laughter is amazingly restorative and, at least for me, always makes me feel better no matter what is going on.

3. Choose to focus on the positive. Have you ever noticed how many of our cliches, adages, sayings are about things not going our way? When we talk about money, we say how it doesn't grow on trees or how we need to make sure we're saving it for a rainy day. When we talk about love, we say how it is fickle and fleeting or we banter about how hard it is to find a good man or woman these days. On your way into work in the morning if you meet a colleague on the way in, what do you talk about? My guess is how little sleep you got the night before or how much work is waiting for you on your desk or that flu that's been going around. Try a little experiment sometime and don't go with the flow here, talk about how great you're feeling and what a beautiful day it is and how you're really looking forward to that project you're getting to work on today. If you're lucky you can shift the tenor of the conversation; if not, you might just recognize how ingrained all this negativity is in our culture, our expectations, our way of life.

The law of attraction has gotten a lot of attention lately, some good and some bad. Wherever you are on that spectrum, it is definitely worth taking the time to truly understand what the law of attraction is all about.* It is an incredibly simple concept that is not necessarily easy to put into practice. The gist is that what you put out into the universe is what comes back to you, so if your thoughts, feelings, beliefs are generally negative then you'll get more negative back and if you're focusing on the positive, you'll get positive in return. I like to think of it as a cosmic photocopier--it isn't a perceptive process, it just takes in what it gets and returns it in kind. It doesn't have the power of discernment, can't say, "Oh, what she meant here was . . ." Often when we're thinking about what it is we want, our attention is on what it is we feel is missing in our lives--and exactly that, what is MISSING instead of on what it is we desire--and so we get more of the "missing" back in return. It's kind of like being asked NOT to think about a pink elephant--the first thing that happens is that you think about a pink elephant.

This is where the power of choice comes into play. As with the earlier examples, it is a matter of paying attention to what's happening in your head and in your life and using that power of choice to shift your perspective, make new choices, see the good even when it doesn't appear to be there. There are millions of inputs into this system every day and it is not possible to control all of them, but you can control the ones you're conscious of and choose to shift your attention to the positive, to what feels good to you. As with anything else, start where you are today and see if you can turn even one thing around, then maybe shoot for two tomorrow. With each thought, belief, pattern you shift each day, you'll begin to see your life shifting around you too.

Just remember, there's no one right way to do things. The only mistake you can make is not to try, to notice that things aren't going the way you would like them to and to choose not to do anything about them. Because yes, even appearing to not make a choice is a choice. Life is not a dress rehearsal, but it can definitely be a play with you as the playwright and the star. What new choices would you make if you really knew you couldn't make a mistake, that you'll always be supported, that there will always be something new out there for you to explore? What's stopping you?

Recommended Viewing:
The Secret
What the Bleep Do We Know!?

Recommended Reading:
The Law of Attraction, by Ester and Jerry Hicks
Winona's Web, by Priscilla Cogan
You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay

* I plan to revisit this topic fairly regularly on this blog so we can continue to explore and come to better understand the law of attraction together.

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Sweaters

I discovered this little gem on the KFOG's Local Scene CD I got in the mail a few years back for being a Foghead. I'd listened to it a few times but hadn't really gotten into it until I was making a mix for my mother in December and pulled it out. I loved "Sweaters" so much that I even named the CD for it. Beth Waters has a beautiful, silky voice and a lot of energy that adds oomph to her complex and soulful lyrics. Seeing as how I'm a little slow on the uptake, I just figured out that "local scene" means she should be playing around here and sure enough, she has a show in Berkeley in March at Caffe Trieste. I'll have to mark my calendar.

So I was looking for a video of her singing this song on YouTube -- instead, I found a friend of hers covering the song. I enjoyed it and thought you might too. If you want to hear her version, check out her MySpace page -- "Sweaters" is the first song in her player. I love the message of this song, which I take to mean that when you change yourself, you change the world. I believe I can change the world, just give me time . . .



Artist: Beth Waters
Song: Sweaters
Album: Beth Waters
Website: http://www.bethwaters.com/

This worn out sweater is slightly torn
Like the mouth of that old woman waiting for that phone
And I hear a little laughter from my own
Cause I see so many sweaters that refuse to be sewn

Well I finally threw my Valentine away
It was crumpled and faded
And as I kept it I had always thought the world would be that way
Until I opened up the drawer and it had changed

And it called to mind how I’d always felt like I’m
Just living in this life for a while
And how you get so far beneath yourself
It’s hard to see the journey with a smile

But I believe I can change the world just give me time
I believe I can change the world just give me time
I believe, I believe I can change the world
I believe I can change the world just give me time
Just give me time

Well I tried to start that journal once or twice
But I always end up writing notes on day-to-day life
And like all of us I’m just trying to hang on
In the middle of the carousel it’s much more calm

And it called to mind how I’d always felt like I’m
The last one to hear of things
I’m in the back of the room watching all of you
I go unnoticed but I notice everything

But I believe I can change the world just give me time
I believe I can change the world just give me time
I believe, I believe I can change the world
I believe I can change the world
Just give me time
Just give me time
Just give me time
Just give me time

Copyright © 2003 by Beth Waters and Mermaid Mafia Records/Publishing

Overcoming inertia

I love that it is 9:45 and we've already had an absolute downpour, had the sun come out, and now the skies are clear and blue and beautiful. Ah yes, this is my kind of day, where I can enjoy the sun doubly because we've already had some rain today. Yesterday I was not so lucky. I went for my 3-mile walk in the afternoon. It had already rained but the sky was still gray and heavy. I grabbed my umbrella as I headed out and managed to get most of the way through without having to use it, but that last half mile or so it started to rain -- thankfully a light, misty rain, but rain nonetheless. I was so relieved, pleased, proud that I had chosen to walk anyway. It wasn't that long ago that a rainy day would have been more than enough excuse not to leave the house, and considering I was still coming out of my funk, it showed substantial more motivation than I thought I had.

This past week has been really interesting to me, as I've managed to observe myself in the midst of my behaviors and subtly shift what I've always done to something different. What I've always done is let a funk absorb me, depress me, derail me. What was different was that there were still pockets of motivation, moments of productivity, rays of light that kept me at least partially on course in spite of inertia's best efforts to the contrary. Not to mention the unsmall feat of not beating myself up anywhere near as much as I usually do for the moments where I was off course, sitting on the couch eating chocolate and watching copious amounts of silly television.

This is what progress looks like. Most of the time it isn't great leaps and bounds, onward and upwards. It's making small changes, little shifts, and acknowledging yourself for making the effort, noticing the results however wee they may be. Each moment has its own challenges, its own choices, its own ups and downs, its own little victories. The trick is to be aware, to pay attention, to recognize what is happening inside you and around you, and to be grateful both for the awareness and the shift that is taking place. I feel like so much is happening right now, like everyday is full to overflowing even when on paper it doesn't look like I'm doing very much at all. But I can see the progress, in a way I've never been able to do before, and it is truly amazing.

What things do you notice when you pay attention? What are the little ways that you can shift what is happening in your life today? What are you grateful for? I can almost guarantee that the inertia will dissipate when faced with questions like these. There's no place for it to hide when you shine the light. Namaste.

Blossoming

I already feel like I've been on a roller coaster and it's only 9:30! I woke up this morning really tense, my whole body aching from head to toe. I'd had a long night of not sleeping well, presumably because my back hurt but substantially because I've had underlying money worries all week. I dragged myself out of bed a little before 6, set myself up on the couch with an ice pack, and started to do my morning pages. I grumbled for a little while but finally just started asking myself questions. What is it going to take for me not to let stress show up in my body? What do I need to learn in order to kick my money issues once and for all? What is the source of this fear that I can feel rumbling around in my tummy?

The bottom line? As Marianne Williamson says, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." The more I recognize that I need to take risks, the push myself out of my shell, to claim my power, the louder the voice of fear becomes in my head. But as Anais Nin said, "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." I know that this change is necessary and I know that now is the time and I know that I am ready to live my life like Ellis suggests: "How would it be if everything that you thought you knew / Was turned upside down opposite from your point of view / How would you feel if the ground was really the sky and all of this / time you've been walkin' when you coulda been flying." Yeah baby, yeah!

So I got out a pad of paper and wrote down each of my fears on its own page. Then I went back and added the old patterns that surface, enabling those fears to gain footing in my consciousness. I took my 11 slips of paper, a pile of pillows, and a whiffle bat and I bashed each fear or pattern. Hallelujah! The paper was really too light for this process and so it would float up in the air, which immediately made me laugh. So I kept bashing and laughing and bashing and laughing until I felt completely filled with love and light and laughter. The weight of those fears and patterns had lifted. I danced around my living room for a little while, high on the feeling of lightness, then scooped up the slips of paper and held a burning bowl ritual. I took the slips one by one, stated my intention for what I am now accepting in my life, and watched the words burn away, going back into the nothingness from whence they came. When I was done, I took out my sage and smudged myself and my apartment, acknowledging that today is a new day, and that I am starting fresh.

I find ritual soothing, a way of getting a message out of my head and into my body. While it might not be necessary in order to affect change, for me it feels like one of the better tools in my toolbox, a tried and true method of getting things to move in a direction that feels good. Like anything else, it's a process, and I may need to do another ritual next week, next month, or even tomorrow, but for right now, I feel free to fly. Namaste.

Room to change

It's Sunday morning and I'm moving a little bit slowly. I've been sitting in bed with my laptop doing my morning pages, checking my email, fiddling around with the blog. Somewhere in the backdrop I was aware of my cat Morgan crying, but that isn't unusual. Morgan is one of those cats who will leave the room that contains everyone else in the family and then cry as if to say, Where is everybody? So my thoughts are somewhere else completely and I hear this sort of funny scratching sound and I think she must have found a bug, which would account for the crying. I look up and instead see Morgan hanging out of the top of my chest of drawers. The front of one of the drawers fell off a while back, so I moved it to the top of the dresser and use it like a shelf for my t-shirts. Morgan had squeezed herself in amongst the piles of shirts, not very well mind you as she ended up falling right back out again. It was so startling I burst out laughing, which of course annoyed Morgan to no end. I tried to apologize to her saying it was just that I had never seen her do anything even remotely like that in all of her six years with us. She's not a jumper, having difficulty even getting up on the couch with grace, and she's not one of those cats who likes to crawl into anything and everything they can fit in. But my cats never cease to amaze me with the crazy new things they come up with, even in the midst of a life that appears to be all routine, and mostly sleep.

The truth is, however, that if we pay attention, the people in our lives can amaze us as well. The reason we don't usually notice that, however, is that we expect them not to change. Have you ever had a full conversation in your head with someone and then you're surprised later when you try to talk to them about it and they have no idea what you're talking about? We think we know the people in our lives so well that we know what they'll say or do around just about anything. The funny thing about that for me is that I am so invested in my own growth and work pretty hard to shift the way I interact with the people around me so that I am showing up more authentically -- meaning, it would be challenging for someone to know how I was going to react at any given time because I'm not sure I would know that myself in advance. So why can't I apply that concept to the other people in my life? Now, I'm not saying that we should expect people to change -- that really never works and just leaves us disappointed. I guess all I'm saying is that we should leave them room to change. Don't assume you know what your mother or your brother or your wife thinks about something -- ask them. I suspect they'll surprise you.

Resistance is futile

I'm tempted to create some giant flash cards with sayings like "You'll feel so good once you've done it!" and "Just get started!" and possibly even "Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration." Something I can look at when I feel the haze of distraction coming over me to drown out the siren song that is making me want to play video games or fool around on Facebook instead of doing my morning pages or cleaning out the linen closet. This week I've been so aware of the demon of resistance raising its ugly head. It is completely insidious, and sometimes almost impossible to spot.

If you've read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, you might remember the Somebody Else's Problem field. I always loved this concept of an invisibility field that worked because people's eyes would just slide off of something that they thought was somebody else's problem. That sort of slipping around or off of something is how I often feel when resistance is coming up. I'll be sitting at my desk cleaning out my inbox and getting organized for the day and I'll say okay, now I'm going to do my physical therapy exercises. Without me consciously noticing, my mind will throw up the equivalent of an SEP field that makes my mind slip right past that thought and remember something it wanted me to google or something I "should" do on Facebook. An hour later I'm looking back over my list of things to do today and I notice "exercises / ice" is still there. I pick up the pen and start to cross it off when it occurs to me I haven't actually done them yet. I feel a bit like I've just had a prank pulled on me and I'll get up to do my exercises and almost immediately a haze comes over me and... I have to shake myself and force my legs to carry me into the other room and start doing my work.

Resistance has one goal -- to keep us from changing. My husband likes to quote Wayne's World saying, "We fear change." And it's true! Our ego is invested in us staying the same, keeping things comfortable, and ultimately keeping us small. Our spirit is invested in us becoming more, growing and learning and expanding into the people we were born to be. When we try to follow the voice of spirit, our ego digs into its bag of tricks and starts throwing road blocks in our way. Some of them are obvious -- I've learned to recognize the voice of fear in my head and know that if it's telling me not to do something, then that's exactly what I need to do. But resistance is usually a lot more subtle, using highly honed skills of rationalization to hide its true nature. The more I pay attention to what I'm doing, thinking, and saying, the more I can recognize when I'm in resistance. I'm getting to the point where I often notice the SEP field within minutes and I can get myself back on track, but it takes practice -- give yourself a consciousness vacation and see how quickly the roots of resistance coil back around your mind. For me anyway, it's all about creating new habits. Even if they're in keeping with your spirit's goals for you, your ego recognizes them as routines and relaxes a little bit. And the more you practice staying in the present moment and truly pay attention to what's happening around you, the more prepared you'll be when your ego throws up its next resistance smoke screen. You can look the resistance right in the eye, tell it you know what it is doing, and move through it towards your goal. I promise, each step out of resistance is easier than the last, and while practice might not make perfect, it definitely does strengthen the tools you have at your disposal to release resistance more and more quickly.

Wish me luck in shifting my habits. And please, send out a search party into the lands of resistance if you don't see me for a few days. Namaste.

Great expectations

This week has been an emotional week for me. It could be that I'm PMing, although I suspect that just magnifies things. I think the real culprit here is expectations. I've been on a spiritual path for over 15 years now, and while I have grown and changed significantly throughout that time, one thing that has not changed is the high expectations I have for myself, and as a result for others. If anything, it has just gotten worse. Instead of focusing on how far I've come, on how much more love and joy and peace I have in my life, I often focus on the old patterns that still come up for me, on how my buttons are still pushable, on the ways in which I am still flawed.

I had an experience this week where someone pushed my buttons and I ended up bawling my eyes out. I knew that the situation had nothing to do with me really, that they were just looking for someone to lash out at and I was there, but it still hurt like the dickens and brought up all sorts of self-worth (and self-doubt) issues. The good news is that instead of sinking into a depression over it, like I might have done in the past, I worked myself out of it, turned it around and got myself back into a happy, peaceful place. I'm patting myself on the back for it now mostly because all I could think about yesterday was how I'd let my buttons get pushed in the first place. Today I am choosing to give myself a break, to recognize how the way I responded still changed an old pattern and how much better my day ended up because of it. Kudos to me.

The other thing I'm recognizing today as I consider that situation is how it was the expectations I'd set for the other person that ended up making me feel so blue. Instead of just letting them be them, I had hoped for, wished for, prayed for something different. When the same ol', same ol' came up instead, I let myself be hurt by it. There are other people in my life that when they make the same mistakes over and over again, all I can do is laugh (in a "what can you do?" kind of way). Partially because if you don't laugh, you cry. And partially because I recognize that this is part of who they are, and until they recognize for themselves that the pattern isn't working, it isn't going to change.

So now my challenge to myself (and to anyone else who cares to join me) is to find a way to apply that perception shift across the board. Our loved ones have their flaws, but we love them anyway. Let's not set expectations for them that they cannot meet. Instead, let's try to see their true spirit through those flaws, and love them for that. And love ourselves in the process too. Namaste.