Aaah . . .

A friend of mine posted a quote from my dear favorite Hāfez this morning: "There are so many gifts still unopened from your birthday." I realized it doesn't matter what he's saying, it just makes my whole being open up, relax, and let go. I was moved to seek out inspiration from another Sufi this morning, Rumi. After a few minutes of surrendering to the perspectives of these beautiful mystics, I felt the challenges of this week fall off of me.

One of the biggest challenges for me this week has been shaking off some of the recent decisions made by this lovely state that I live in, California. First, there was the news that Prop. 8 (banning gay marriage) was being upheld, followed quickly by the governor's latest budget recommendation that includes, amongst other gems, cutting so much revenue to our state parks that 80% of them would have to close. After moving through my intial feelings of disappointment and frustration, I was able to find peace in the reminder that times of great change are often accompanied by chaos as the smallness and limiting beliefs created by fear are ultimately dissipated by the expansive, creative, loving energy of our ongoing growth. This snippet of Rumi's wisdom seemed especially appropriate to me this morning:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.

From: The Essential Rumi, by Coleman Barks

Here are a couple of other treasures from the realm of Rumi's wisdom. I hope that they have a similar opening, expansive, releasing feeling for you today, and that your being can relax into the Aaah . . . . Namaste.


Moving Water
~ by Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river
moving in you, a joy.

When actions come from another section, the feeling
disappears. Don't let

others lead you. They may be blind or, worse, vultures.
Reach for the rope

of God. And what is that? Putting aside self-will.
Because of willfulness

people sit in jail, the trapped bird's wings are tied,
fish sizzle in the skillet.

The anger of police is willfulness. You've seen a magistrate
inflict visible punishment. Now

see the invisible. If you could leave your selfishness, you
would see how you've

been torturing your soul. We are born and live inside black water in a well.

How could we know what an open field of sunlight is? Don't
insist on going where

you think you want to go. Ask the way to the spring. Your
living pieces will form

a harmony. There is a moving palace that floats in the air
with balconies and clear

water flowing through, infinity everywhere, yet contained
under a single tent.

From: The Glance


This We Have Now
~ by Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks

This we have now
is not imagination.

This is not
grief or joy.

Not a judging state,
or an elation,
or sadness.

Those come and go.
This is the presence that doesn't.

From: The Essential Rumi


Photo: "Sunset gateway," originally uploaded by Mirko Macari

Feeling expansive

I find myself unsubscribing from a lot of my mailing lists lately. It's not that I've suddenly changed my mind and don't believe in the causes, but I'm finding it overwhelming to have my inbox full of the same doom and gloom that you see in the media and hear people talking about in the streets. These days it seems like everybody's primary or secondary focus is on the negative, with much debate about who to blame and how much worse things will get before they get better and even whose situation sucks the most.

This is all in direct contrast to my own situation. My company is growing rapidly, with the focus on how quickly we can get new people in and trained to support our growth path. My life is constantly getting bigger as we prepare for baby: we just moved into a new home that's about twice as large as our last apartment, I am literally expanding as every day I discover a new article of clothing that no longer fits comfortably around my belly, and my heart and spirit are inflated with the love and new vision that I have for my life and my purpose. When I look at my friends, I see people taking new steps along their life journeys -- exploring new paths, starting new jobs, getting married, finding out more about who they really are.

But the contrast runs even deeper than that. When I close my eyes and listen to the energy of the universe, feeling the truth of what lies beneath the surface experience of what is, all I can feel is expansion. I've talked before about the consciousness shift taking place on our planet and how we're reaching a critical mass that will tip us over into the next phase of our evolutionary journey -- that shift has never been more apparent to me. The more chaotic things appear to be on the surface, the more that deep energy underneath feels positive, serene, and definite.

Imagine yourself on a carousel that is spinning really fast -- out on the edge things are wild and you have to hang on for dear life or you'll get thrown off, but at the center you can let go and relax and enjoy the ride. I think the universe is offering us a choice in this moment. Do you want to hold on to old, limiting ideas about how the world works and your place in it? Or are you ready for new way of living and being, one that is full of learning and exploration, but ultimately of expansion? If you choose to hold on to the old, that's okay, but it will likely be a rough ride. If you choose to explore the new, you may fall down and scrape your knees like a child learning to walk, but you'll be running before you know it, experiencing this ever-expanding energy that is at the core of your being.

When I close my eyes and listen to the silence, I know there's only one answer that resonates for me. And so I choose to focus my energy on recognizing the growth and expansion that makes itself more evident every day, and I see the apparent chaos as a temporary piece of the transition we are going through as a society as we adjust to our new way of being. Where do you choose to focus your attention? How do you feel when you close your eyes and feel the truth of what is happening in your life and the world around you? Listen to the truth that resonates within you -- that is your guide to growth and expansion, but ultimately to experiencing true peace and joy. Enjoy the ride. Namaste.

Photo: "The last drop," originally uploaded by Gordana Adamovic-Mladenovic

Morihei Ueshiba quote

Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead.

~ Morihei Ueshiba

A new kind of love

If you were a regular reader in 2008, you may wonder where I've been the past couple of months. I am now catching my breath enough (or for a moment) to update you on the transition that is taking place in my life. It seems appropriate with Valentine's Day tomorrow to talk about the new love that has come into my life -- or really, I should say our lives, because this affects my husband, my family, on outward. We are all blossoming with the new love we feel for the baby we're due to have this summer.

It's been an interesting journey the past couple of months. I helped my mother move from Connecticut to California, I found out I was pregnant, my body adjusted to being shared with another life (well, I should say is continually adjusting), I started a new job, and now we're in the process of moving homes. There has been a part of me that has felt I should (ahem) be able to keep doing all of the things I had already been doing and yet still handle all of these new changes with relative ease. The trick has been to let the rest of me take over, the part that knows that I have to take every day as it comes, ask for help more than I ever have before, make taking care of myself my number one priority, stay in the present moment, and remember that it is what it is. While this way of thinking and living was always my goal, it has been elevated to the only way to think and live due to the circumstances. Much like the concussion I experienced last year, it seems like a gift, a way to get a perspective change because you have to, not just because you know it's the right thing to do.

As much as this feels like a physical journey, I am constantly reminded by how much of a spiritual journey it is. Even before I began walking down the path towards motherhood, I knew that 2009 was going to be the year of the divine feminine for me. Now I see just how true that is as I take on a new facet of that energy, the mother energy. I used to see motherhood as an end to, or at least a temporary derailment from, the spiritual path I have been on, but now I see that it is as much a fabric of that path as anything else I have endeavored in the past 20 years. Not only do I learn more about myself and my relationship to the universe every day, but I am learning about this little soul that is coming into the world. I have been brought in contact with a pure spirit, not yet immersed in the material plane, still aware of the universal big picture, still a being of pure love, still excited about the prospect of exploration and expansion that a life on earth will bring. It leaves me excited about my own exploration and expansion, and how this new experience will only widen my perspective and give me even more opportunity to grow and to learn and to share my gifts.

The world around us appears to be in chaos, but now more than I ever I feel removed from that chaos and connected only to the divine order that is being revealed. I know part of that is because my life is being expanded in so many ways right now that it makes it hard for me to see the limitation that the media is harping on. At the root of all of this is the deep love that I feel for myself, for my husband, for my family, and the new spirit coming into our lives. Love always expands, never contracts, and our universe is built on love. Bask in that feeling of expansion this Valentine's Day weekend and see if you can bring it into other aspects of your life as well. This is the true reality of our lives, and the more you experience it, the more you see it in your own life, the more this truth will be revealed to the world at large. Namaste.

Photo: "New life is coming," originally uploaded by marcusrg

Growing Pains

I've been struggling a bit lately. Nothing major, just feeling overwhelmed and having trouble getting caught back up again. Of course, being "caught up" is just a state of mind. Really, it is simply peace of mind. So what I've come to realize is that bringing myself back into alignment with my peace needs to be my top priority. Everything else can, and will, fall into place once that simple goal is realized. The best part? It can happen in a moment. Ah, I feel better already.

I read this gem from DailyOM last week when I was having an especially challenging day due to a couple of colliding illnesses. It made me want to be a little more gentle with myself, give myself a break, and remember that even on my trickiest day of the year, I have still grown so much and come so far since my best day of last year. I'm guessing that's true for you, too. So give yourself a big hug and a pat on the back, and remember to celebrate all that growth has to offer, even when it hurts a little bit. Namaste.


Growing Pains
Initiations For Growth

Life is about growth, which is wonderful, though not always easy. Indeed, many of life’s lessons can be painful or difficult. Yet, such challenges are often the ones that present the most opportunity for spiritual growth. Initiations for growth come in many forms. In fact, we can view every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. While these disruptions in life are not easy, they are necessary.

The challenges the universe sends us can seem unbearable at times: a job we don’t want to spend another day at, a broken heart that feels as if it will never heal, or a long and painful illness. And then, there are the challenges that can be just as scary because we are being called to step up to the plate in ways that we may think we are not yet ready for: overcoming our fears in order to realize a lifelong dream, leaving behind a situation or people in our life that we may have outgrown, or moving across the world for our dream job or life partner.

At such times, it can feel as if the world is testing us and that life is asking more of us than we think we can give. We may feel uncomfortable, frightened, and unsure of what to do. However, life isn’t so much going against us as it is encouraging us to grow. During these periods, we can grow stronger by putting one foot in front of the other, as we work through our challenges. We may be asked to let go of old safety measures, shift old patterns of behavior, or step into the abyss of the unknown. When we do rise to the occasion, we end up better off for having made that journey. Not only do we end up learning and growing, but we inevitably become more compassionate to the challenges of others and wiser in the ways of the world. Our faith in the universe also grows because, ultimately, we can’t help but realize how much we are supported and taken care of at all times. When we are in the midst of a growing period, it is not easy to see our reward, but it is there, waiting for us to grow big enough to reach it.

Photo: "plant growing on bricks," originally uploaded by e453753

Notes from Jenn's World

I'm sorry for going a week without posting anything. There was definitely a lot going on--one of these days I'll find that balance where I can be busy and active and still write blog posts. But in the meantime, let's catch back up with a quick check-in about what's going on in my world . . .

Reiki
I was very excited to receive my first degree Reiki attunement last weekend. I've been loving playing with the Divine in a new way through the Reiki healing energies. After learning how to give a table session, it occurred to me that I've been using a form of Reiki energy on myself and loved ones for a while now, I just didn't know that's what it was. But it was wonderful to learn how to channel the energy in new and more concrete ways, and I'm having fun practicing with both the standard forms and following my intuition.

Rock Band
Have you felt the pull of the game Rock Band? It's a game sort of in the same vein as Guitar Hero, where you wield a guitar-shaped controller and play a Simon-like game of hitting the right button and strumming at the right time to make the right note play on the screen. Rock Band takes this genre one step farther by introducing the drums and a vocal track. I have a "band" with my husband and two friends of ours (I'm the singer), so Saturday we tackled the Endless Set List--58 songs in a row. It was an absolute blast--exhausting, but the kind of serious fun that could be bottled and sold for big bucks. I suspect it's because it appeals to several aspects of you at once: my inner child loves it because it's playing, my creative self loves it because it feels like creative expression even as you're mimicking the original song, my body loves it because it can dance a little as I go. Fun for the whole family. Next up--a real band. It may take us a while to get it together, but we plan to start pulling out real instruments and seeing if we can't make some music together. Or at the very least, continue to just have a really good time.

Chihuly exhibit
After spending the day in San Francisco yesterday exploring the Chihuly exhibit at the deYoung Museum and enjoying hanging out with a new friend I met while training for the Avon Walk, I feel absolutely full. Chihuly's work is so full of joy and creative expression that it makes me feel like I am full of joy and creative expression. I totally want to learn how to do what I'm thinking of now as "fire art," i.e. anything that uses fire in order to come into being, like blowing glass or making pottery or what have you. I've always loved to draw and paint, but I like the idea of having a 3-D, very tangible presence at the end of your creative expression. I'll let you know if anything come of this urge.

Guinea pigs
So I am currently looking for "guinea pigs," people I can practice energy work on (or with). I am opening myself up to do more and more with energy, both on the giving end, like with Reiki, and on the reading end, like with the way I do tarot readings. I'm learning a new way of doing energy readings related to the chakras and suspect that about the time I'm getting a handle on that, a new way of reading energy will be given to me. So please do let me know if you'd be willing to let me practice and experiment by giving you an energy reading. At this moment in time, I am looking for Bay Area guinea pigs only, but I will definitely let you know when I am ready to expand to long-distance!

So what's new in your world? How have you been entertaining yourself? Are all of your different aspects feeling involved in your life? What kinds of new and exciting things have you been learning? I'd love to hear all about the growth and fun happening in your life right now. Namaste.

Photo: "Chihuly glass at the Bellagio," originally uploaded by Joe Flood

Ghosts

I've been feeling ghosts all around me lately. Not the ghosts of those who have left this world--I know that in a way because they have moved on they are always with me--but the ghosts of old friends who used to be a large part of my life but due to geography or priorities or whatnot are no longer around. I see them in old pictures, hear them in classic songs, even have them cropping up in restless dreams. Suddenly, I'm missing people I haven't thought of in months or seen in years and I feel sad.

My mom calls me a pack rat, and that applies to people as well as to things. I hate to let people go, even when it is obviously time, when we've grown apart or aren't helping each other to grow any longer. It's true, I have this dream of being able to gather everyone I've ever loved into one community so that they may continue to be a part of my life even if it's only to run into each other at Town Hall meetings. There's a piece of me that hungers for that small town feel where it's a rare person that moves into the town and an even rarer one that leaves, where everybody knows everybody and their business, for good or for bad.

And yet, no one is aware more than I am that it is precisely because I've led the somewhat transient life I've led, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and moving into new areas with new people, that I've been able to grow and change as much as I have. The old friends, while still dear to me, could not have helped me to get to where I am today. They've had their own paths to explore, and I've needed fresh ideas, fresh motivations to nudge me along my own. There was a time and a place for us to be together, and the time may come where we'll meet again. But in the meantime, I'm always being pushed out of my nest out in the wide world, where no one is really a stranger, they're just friends I haven't collected yet.

And so, I am writing this to honor my ghosts, to let them know I will never forget them. I will be here when the time is right for us to be in community again. In the meantime, best of luck on the journey. Namaste.

Photo: "Lighthouse in sepia," originally uploaded by eva

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Growing pains

A mentor of mine recently reminded me that just because the road looks like it is dipping, does not mean you've gotten off course. The path of spiritual and personal growth can look bumpy from time to time, but think of it as driving on a mountain road--it may go up for a little while, it may go down for a little while, but the whole way you are moving in the direction of your destination. This very simple piece of wisdom helped me shift from beating myself up for not always living in the light to accepting that every step takes me forward along my path with plenty to be learned from the experience.

I loved this recent DailyOM posting that had some additional insight on what might look like a challenging time. I know that I, for one, am looking forward to a slightly less bumpy road, but I also know that when it comes I will be all the stronger for what I am going through today. Namaste.

Growing Pains
Difficult Times

It can be very challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith when you are in the midst of difficult times. This is partly because we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of positive circumstances. However, we are like children, and the universe is our wise mother who knows what our souls need to thrive better than we do. Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.

This period of time in history is full of difficulty for a lot of human beings, and you may feel less alone knowing you are not being singled out. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the growing process and the growing pains. It helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that this difficult time will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.

At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty. Gently and compassionately exploring the areas giving you the most trouble may reveal things you are holding onto and need to release: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or reality. As you take responsibility for the things you can change, you can more easily surrender to the things you can’t, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another.

Photo: "Sapa - Mountain Road," originally uploaded by j.fisher

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A New Earth -- A New Earth

Jenn's thoughts and learnings from the tenth and final week of A New Earth: The Oprah Web Event.

"I am a hole in a flute that the Christ's breath moves through--listen to this music."
~Hafiz, as translated by Daniel Ladinsky

For whatever reason--resistance, the timing of the Universe is perfect, etc.--it has taken me over a week (two, if you count my trying to watch it on the plane to Georgia) to watch the final week of the A New Earth web event. And I'm kind of glad it did. It's given me time to really soak this one up, to savor it, linger over it, which seems appropriate for a finale. Eckhart was his usual jovial self but Oprah seemed a little sad to have it all come to an end. I look forward to watching her continue to grow and unfold, to see where life continues to lead her.

My favorite part
I loved the way Oprah put the "what to call God" problem. She said something to the effect of, Spirit doesn't have an ego so it doesn't get hung up on what it's called. Yes!

How to stay present
At one point Oprah shared that her mantra (my word, not hers) is, "Be here, be now." She repeats it to herself as a reminder to be present. Mine is very similar, "Be Here Now." I'm not sure why it needs to be capitalized, but that is how it shows up in my head. It's almost like the words get dropped into my mind one by one, each word their own reminder. Be. Here. Now.

Growing older, growing wiser
One of the most striking concepts in this chapter for me was how all of this applies to growing old. As I'm sure we all do, I know many people who have so identified with what they DO that growing old has been a tragedy for them. Each responsibility they can no longer manage, each task they can no longer perform, is like an arrow through their heart. The process is nothing but pain, nothing but regret, and they spend their time either complaining, focusing solely on what's wrong, or lost in nostalgia. However for others, they begin to recognize that there is so much more to life than just the doing. It is through having the doing reduced in their life that they recognize the presence and importance of being. They grow lighter, freer, and end up with a luminescent quality. These individuals have been rarer in my life, but are such lights when you come across them. I know which way I'd rather be, but I don't want to wait until I'm old--I want to start today! (See the poem I posted this morning for further exploration of this subject.)

What you do is always secondary
There was just something about the way this concept was reiterated in this webcast that got me. What you do is always secondary; how you do it is primary. You want to know how to fulfill your destiny? Do whatever it is you are doing, no matter how seemingly large or small, completely and utterly consciously, full of presence. No what where you are, whether you're mailing a package at the post office, waiting tables at a restaurant, washing up after breakfast, bring your Presence with you. That's what showing up and fulfilling your destiny looks like. Placing the plate down on the table in front of your customer with full awareness, consciousness, presence, affects everyone around you. It doesn't matter what it is you are doing--if you are doing it consciously, you are bringing more Presence into the world and playing your role in the greater awakening of the planet.

Goals and visions
This is one of those concepts I've been working with for over 15 years, but I feel like it was presented to me brand new. Your goal, your vision, is not something "out there" that is in the future. It lives within you as if it were already a reality, because on some level it already is. It isn't a goal you are projecting yourself into, something you will reach someday. It isn't something coming from a place of neediness or scarcity, it is coming from a place of fullness, the way it would feel if you already had it. Because it is something that already exists within you, ready to be born into form in your life. Eckhart talked about writing The Power of Now in this fashion. He sensed that there was a book within him that had already been written. His job, then, was just to allow this already completed construct to come out of him, to manifest itself. This is where true power lies, because all power exists in the present moment. It is about always focusing on this step, just this step. Whatever this moment is, it is a step on the journey.

Acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm
The key point to this chapter (to me, anyway) is that it is time to choose to do everything with acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm. If you cannot operate from one of these three modalities, you are not in alignment with the present moment, with yourself, with life, and you are causing yourself and/or those around you suffering. So the question to always ask yourself is, what is my relationship with the present moment? Am I okay with this moment, friendly with it? If yes, then you are empowered. If no, then ask yourself what you can do to move towards acceptance. It may be that you need to stop doing whatever it is you're doing, step aside and into something that you can accept. Or you may be able to find acceptance just through becoming aware of where you are, consciously shifting your attention towards recognizing that this moment is what it is. You don't have to enjoy changing a tire, but when you accept that the tire is flat and changing it is what needs to be done, as opposed to resisting it, cursing it, getting upset with it, etc., then you will be able to find peace in the experience.

I loved what Eckhart had to say about enjoyment, that it will replace wanting. Wanting comes from a place of lack, and when you get whatever it is you were wanting, you feel empty and unfulfilled. Enjoyment, however, leaves you feeling full. It brings empowerment to what you do, flowing through you and allowing creativity to be born in what you are doing. Joy does not come from what you do, from another person, from outside of you in any way--it comes from within, flowing out of you into the world around you.

So my exercise for this week, and yours too, if you so choose, is to pay attention to where I am and see if I can shift the energy. If I feel like I'm in resistance, fighting the moment, then it is time for me to move into acceptance. If it's something I'm already able to accept, then I can make a game out of it, find a way to turn that acceptance into enjoyment. And if it's something I'm already able to enjoy, then I can look for that extra something that reminds me this moment is a step towards manifesting my vision and allow enthusiasm to come into play. The new earth already exists within us. Our job now is to allow it to come through us, to be made manifest in form in our lives. Namaste.

Photo: "Dream," originally uploaded by Jan McLaughlin

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Aldous Huxley quote

The spiritual journey does not consist in arriving at a new destination where a person gains what he did not have, or becomes what he is not. It consists in the dissipation of one's own ignorance concerning one's self and life, and the gradual growth of that understanding which begins the spiritual awakening. The finding of God is a coming to one's self.

~Aldous Huxley

Step 1: Start Where You Are

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

I like to live my life by what I call wisdom according to Aerosmith: Life is a journey, not a destination. It isn't about where you're headed, it's about the places you go to along the way. I personally want that journey to be full and rich, about learning new things and appreciating the beauty around me, about living mindfully and discovering my passions and expressing who I really am.

I haven't always lived that way--even as I was learning the tools necessary to spread my wings, I spent a substantial amount of time living my life the way other people expected me to. I was a good girl, usually doing the "right" things, even as I was exploring realms that I didn't think most of my friends and family would understand. My life took on a splintered quality as different pieces of me showed up depending on who I was with. I often felt like I was a shadow of myself, flimsy and insubstantial, and I yearned for the day when I could be one coherent me. But that was where I was, and the first thing I needed to learn was to let go of those expectations, to give myself a break, to stop being so hard on myself before I could begin the shift from living my life externally towards exploring the me on the inside and letting her light shine.

Starting where you are is about being loving and compassionate towards yourself. You may dream of what you want your life to look like, who you want to be, and often that leads to beating yourself up, judging yourself and finding yourself lacking. This is counterproductive, placing the emphasis on what you don't want instead of on what you do want. The first thing to do is to recognize that you are where you are, and while you are capable of realizing your dreams, you have to be gentle with yourself as you take the steps necessary to get there. I like to think of it as building your muscles. If you had a dream of running a marathon, you wouldn't try to run 26.2 miles tomorrow. You would put a training program in motion and build your muscles and your endurance to enable success. Each step in the training program is a stretch and while you get close to your objective during training, the day of the event is the day you actually achieve your goal.

This is how realizing life goals works, too. While we don't always have a full training program laid out in front of us so we know in advance the steps we'll take to reach our goals, life is always feeding us opportunities to stretch ourselves, to grow in the direction we want to be moving in. When a challenge comes up for you today, instead of handling it the way you might have in the past, ask yourself how you can react differently this time. The answer might feel a little outside of your comfort zone, but do it anyway. You know where the old road leads--explore a new road and see if it lands you in a place you haven't been before. Play with it, experiment a bit. You might not land exactly where you want to be, but keep experimenting with it as situations come up until you find a new way of handling it that feels more authentic to who you are and where you want to go in life. If you're shy, a public speaking engagement might be too big of a stretch, but talking to a stranger in a bar might be just the right size. Strengthen that extroverted muscle, that faith muscle, that love muscle--whatever it is that you've been seeking, that's been missing in your life.

There is always something right in front of us, right where we are today that is a gift for the growth we have been asking for. It might feel small, it might be a just baby step, but each step is a movement, and each step opens up new opportunities for expansion. As T. Harv Ecker reminds us:

Success is a learnable skill. You can learn to succeed at anything . . . If you want to be a great piano player, you can learn how to do it. If you want to be truly happy, you can learn how to do it. If you want to be rich, you can learn how to do it. It doesn’t matter where you are right now. It doesn’t matter where you’re starting from. What matters is that you are willing to learn.

Start where you are right now, in this moment, and take a step, begin the process of learning how to spread those wings, to move in the direction that you've always dreamed of.

Recommended Reading:
The Alchemist, by Paolo Coelho
Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch
The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
Spiritual Fitness, by Caroline Reynolds
Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Photo: Views of Bratislava, by Lukas Ondrousek

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My vision

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
~Tallulah Bankhead

I love synchronicity. I met a friend for lunch yesterday whom I haven't seen in quite a while. At one point I felt compelled to share a vision I have. Before I'd finished, she started to laugh and shake her head. It turns out another friend of hers has a similar, overlapping vision. She's down in Southern California right now, but she plans to move back to the Bay Area at some point during the next year to put her vision into action. My friend is going to introduce us to see if our ideas overlap enough that we could work together. How cool is that? The funny thing is I don't talk about this idea very much these days. It's been feeling too "future" for me to give much energy to, but this seemed like a wonderful reminder that the only place we live is in the present.

So I've known that I'm on a healer's path for quite a while now. I've spent most of the past decade focusing on my Practitioner work in a Religious Science community, and I am in the process of evolving this work into more of a spiritual coach or mentor. Within the past couple of years I've had an idea for a Center develop as part of my larger vision, mostly coming up out of the desire to create the kind of community that I've wished already existed in my area. I want it to be a place that is there to assist people along their life's journey, whether they would like to work with a coach, they are in need of acupuncture or massage, they are looking for inspiration and learning through books or seminars, they are looking for a psychic or energy reading, or they just need a safe haven where they can break bread with fellow travelers.

I envision a bookstore that isn't just a bookstore, it provides an atmosphere of community. There are books on metaphysics, religion, spirituality, psychology, personal growth -- great examples of fiction and non-fiction that open you up and stretch you and become good friends. There are candles and lamps and incense, cards that make you laugh and cry, jewelery and bath products, gifts to soothe the soul for yourself and your loved ones. It's a simple store of wood and stone, with comfortable chairs scattered throughout so you can rest and soak up the good energy that gathers from the products and the patrons.

Upstairs or in the back, you might find a yoga class or a workshop or a poetry reading is being held that afternoon, or perhaps it's a movie night where something like What the Bleep Do We Know!? or a Spiritual Cinema Circle selection is being shown, or maybe a 12-step meeting is happening, and various readers have openings in their schedules for you to meet with them. Whether you're interested in energy work like Reiki, astrology or numerology, tarot or shamanism, or want to invest in some long-term coaching, there is someone associated with the Center for you to work with. There are offices in the building where various healing practitioners have full-time practices or you might find a table in the store where readings are held on a more impromptu basis. You might also find a writer or a musician or painter in one of the offices, lending their energy to the space and feeding the Center's energy back into their work.

Attached to the store is a cafe where you can get a variety of juices and coffees and snacks from a counter, or you can be seated in the dining room for a healthy and delicious meal. Perhaps a jazz trio is playing in the corner, or a singer-songwriter is just getting started, or there is a beautiful, revitalizing CD being played through the speakers. The produce all comes from local farmers and is organic wherever possible. The drink list features sustainable wineries, breweries, and distilleries in addition to the juice and coffee drinks from the counter. While not exclusive, much of the menu is vegetarian, introducing you to foods you might not have had the opportunity to experience previously. Mostly it is a place to relax and connect, and there are several community tables in the restaurant if you are interested in meeting new people during your meal.

While much of these ideas flow from my imagination, I've been blessed to experience little pieces of this idea around the country. This Center has its roots in at least three concepts: Golden Braid Books and Oasis Cafe in Salt Lake City, Utah; The Grotto in San Francisco, California; and Sacred Center in New York City. They are all amazing examples of spirit in action, and I cannot wait until I, too, am a part of a similar creative expression.

Learn to Fly

I was driving home from the grocery store this afternoon and this song came on the radio. I'm singing along thinking, I really like this song, I'd forgotten all about it. Then we come to the chorus and it is, of course, all about learning to fly. It seemed too appropriate not to post it today, since, in case you hadn't noticed, learning to fly is what I'm all about these days.

This concept speaks to me on at least two levels. One, it's about learning, growing, expanding. And two, it's about FLYING, not just surviving or being adequate--it's about being more. This in a nutshell is what I want my life to be about, not just today, but from here on out. There is always more to learn and there is always a space to expand into. Hear hear.

The song "Learn to Fly" is another one from 1999. I believe (although I might be mistaken, I'm definitely no expert) that it was the first big Foo Fighters hit here in the U.S. While I enjoyed it when it came out, it didn't make a huge mark on my landscape. It's one that over time, the more I've listened to it, the more I like it. Perhaps a little bit of nostalgia--songs that remind me of specific periods grow on me precisely because they are reminders--but I've also grown and changed a lot over the past decade. Whatever it is, I now think this song is a lot of fun, and 8+ years after it was released, I am now a proud owner of it. Thank you, iTunes.

Artist: Foo Fighters
Website: http://www.foofighters.com/home
More information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foo_Fighters
Song: Learn to Fly
Album: There Is Nothing Left to Lose

Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die

I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly

I think I'm done nursing the patience
I can wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try
We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright...
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own

Sweet Mistakes

"Sweet Mistakes" seems like a great way to open up this blog* because it's just such a great song from every angle. Ellis Paul is, of course, an incredible songwriter. He combines insightful lyrics with upbeat, catchy tunes that reel you in. You find yourself humming the melody, then singing along, and then suddenly you realize what the song is about on your 12th time through.

That's what happened to me with Sweet Mistakes. I loved the song instantly but it took time for me to figure out why. Its chorus talks about one of the keys to life -- learning from our mistakes, being grateful for the opportunities to make them, because it is through them that we grow and change. The mistakes we've made may have hurt when they were happening, but time heals all wounds, and they are part of what makes you who you are today.

But there's a larger meaning to this song too. It's about living your life *your* way, being Who You Really Are, and how the world just laps it up and asks for more. It's about the power of faith. And it's about peace and gratitude, too. It packs quite a lot of punch, and it's fun to sing along with to boot. :)

Artist: Ellis Paul
Website: http://www.ellispaul.com/
More information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellis_Paul
Song: Sweet Mistakes
Albums: Sweet Mistakes; The Speed of Trees; Essentials

Pop the cork, a champagne glass
Raise to the future, drink to the past
Thank the Lord for the friends he cast,
In the play he wrote for you.
And if you love the girl, man, light up a torch
Blaze a trail to her front porch
Kiss her till your lips are scorched
Till the rain comes down on you

[chorus]
Bless your sweet mistakes,
That crumbled you down to your knees.
That brought you to this place
Changing you by degrees...
When change was just what you needed...
What you needed...

So if you live your life in a three piece suit,
In a cocktail dress, or combat boots
You pick your path, you walk your truth
And the world will come round to you.
It's a long strange ride, I can't tell you why
But there's a place in your pocket where peace can abide
You pull it out, it's a compass, a guide
And it will put a little soul on you.

[repeat chorus]

[bridge]
And in this wild blue world
There is a soul weavin' fine feelin' girl
You've got to walk in paradise to find a pearl
If you only believe,
You'll get what you need...
What you needed...
Conquer your fear and you'll master the game,
Life is always and never the same.
Use a little faith to light the flame
And I know you'll connect to you.

[repeat chorus]

Pop the cork, a champagne glass
Raise to the future, drink to the past
Thank the Lord for the friends he cast,
In the play he wrote for you.

Copyright Ellis Paul Publishing SESAC

* I temporarily had a separate music blog and this was my first post on it.

Resistance is futile

I'm tempted to create some giant flash cards with sayings like "You'll feel so good once you've done it!" and "Just get started!" and possibly even "Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration." Something I can look at when I feel the haze of distraction coming over me to drown out the siren song that is making me want to play video games or fool around on Facebook instead of doing my morning pages or cleaning out the linen closet. This week I've been so aware of the demon of resistance raising its ugly head. It is completely insidious, and sometimes almost impossible to spot.

If you've read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, you might remember the Somebody Else's Problem field. I always loved this concept of an invisibility field that worked because people's eyes would just slide off of something that they thought was somebody else's problem. That sort of slipping around or off of something is how I often feel when resistance is coming up. I'll be sitting at my desk cleaning out my inbox and getting organized for the day and I'll say okay, now I'm going to do my physical therapy exercises. Without me consciously noticing, my mind will throw up the equivalent of an SEP field that makes my mind slip right past that thought and remember something it wanted me to google or something I "should" do on Facebook. An hour later I'm looking back over my list of things to do today and I notice "exercises / ice" is still there. I pick up the pen and start to cross it off when it occurs to me I haven't actually done them yet. I feel a bit like I've just had a prank pulled on me and I'll get up to do my exercises and almost immediately a haze comes over me and... I have to shake myself and force my legs to carry me into the other room and start doing my work.

Resistance has one goal -- to keep us from changing. My husband likes to quote Wayne's World saying, "We fear change." And it's true! Our ego is invested in us staying the same, keeping things comfortable, and ultimately keeping us small. Our spirit is invested in us becoming more, growing and learning and expanding into the people we were born to be. When we try to follow the voice of spirit, our ego digs into its bag of tricks and starts throwing road blocks in our way. Some of them are obvious -- I've learned to recognize the voice of fear in my head and know that if it's telling me not to do something, then that's exactly what I need to do. But resistance is usually a lot more subtle, using highly honed skills of rationalization to hide its true nature. The more I pay attention to what I'm doing, thinking, and saying, the more I can recognize when I'm in resistance. I'm getting to the point where I often notice the SEP field within minutes and I can get myself back on track, but it takes practice -- give yourself a consciousness vacation and see how quickly the roots of resistance coil back around your mind. For me anyway, it's all about creating new habits. Even if they're in keeping with your spirit's goals for you, your ego recognizes them as routines and relaxes a little bit. And the more you practice staying in the present moment and truly pay attention to what's happening around you, the more prepared you'll be when your ego throws up its next resistance smoke screen. You can look the resistance right in the eye, tell it you know what it is doing, and move through it towards your goal. I promise, each step out of resistance is easier than the last, and while practice might not make perfect, it definitely does strengthen the tools you have at your disposal to release resistance more and more quickly.

Wish me luck in shifting my habits. And please, send out a search party into the lands of resistance if you don't see me for a few days. Namaste.

The shining

The new year did not get kicked off exactly as I planned. I ended up being waylaid by a stomach flu of some sort. While it was a very purging way to start the year, I would have preferred to do it my way, and definitely more gently. Isn't that always the way?

While I was caught up in the flu I found myself full of doubt, wondering if the choices I've made in my life these past few months were the right ones. Between jobs, focusing on my own personal growth instead of on making a buck, the lack of income has been a challenge. When I've gotten quiet and listened, I've been reassured that I am right on track, that the work I've been doing is exactly what I needed to be doing and that the income would sort itself out in time. But that voice was hard to find this week, and the voices of "logic" and "lack" loomed large instead.

The good news is that now that I've recovered my energy, I'm finding myself feeling very clear, very much on purpose, and very connected to that message of being in the right place. I feel very... full. Ironic considering how little I've eaten this week, but it makes a surprising amount of sense. I'm reminded of the movie Stardust -- Claire Danes plays a star who has fallen to earth. When she is happy, she begins to shine, filling with light that pours out all over. That's how I feel, like Who I Am is filling me up and pouring out, shining for all the world to see. It's no wonder really that I feel full.

Well, I should probably put a little food in my body as well to ensure that it isn't just lightheadedness I'm feeling. If you're in the Bay Area, stay dry and firmly planted to the earth during this storm. It's good to be back. Namaste.