Susan Griffin quote

We know ourselves to be made from this earth. We know this earth is made from our bodies. For we see ourselves. And we are nature. We are nature seeing nature. We are nature with a concept of nature. Nature weeping. Nature speaking of nature to nature.

The red-winged blackbird flies in us, in our inner sight. We see the arc of her flight. We measure the ellipse. We predict its climax. We are amazed. We are moved. We fly. We watch her wings negotiate the wind, the substance of the air, its elements and the elements of those elements, and count those elements found in other beings, the sea urchin's sting, ink, this paper, our bones, the flesh of our tongues with which we make the sound "blackbird," the ear with which we hear, the eye which travels the arc of her flight. And yet the blackbird does not fly in us but somewhere else free of our minds, and now even free of our sight, flying in the path of her own will.

~Susan Griffin

Seeking the Source

It's been an upside-down and inside-out kind of month. With Thanksgiving approaching, I'm choosing to follow the wisdom of Rumi and seek my Source, relaxing back into Who I Am and what is truly important to me. It's a time for reflection and for connection. Enjoy the process. Namaste.

Seeking the Source
by Jelaluddin Rumi

a voice out of this world
calls on our souls
not to wait any more
get ready to move
to the original home

your real home
your real birth place
is up here with the heavens
let your soul take a flight
like a happy phoenix

you've been tied up
your feet in the mud
your body roped to a log
break loose your ties
get ready for the final flight

make your last journey
from this strange world
soar for the heights
where there is no more
separation of you and your home

God has created
your wings not to be dormant
as long as you are alive
you must try more and more
to use your wings to show you're alive

these wings of yours
are filled with quests and hopes
if they are not used
they will wither away
they will soon decay

you may not like
what i'm going to tell you
you are stuck
now you must seek
nothing but the source

Photo: "Let go," originally uploaded by Nataly

Annie Dillard quote

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be too cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

~Annie Dillard

People Look Around

When it rains, it pours. It isn't a belief I typical espouse, however it has manifested in my life over the past couple of weeks. It's all good stuff--a few examples: my mother is finally moving to the Bay Area after two years of planning, and we found her a lovely new home last week; I'm interviewing for a position that would get me out in the world, interacting with people in a way that utilizes my excellent project management skills in combination with my life's desire to help people live their lives as fully as possible; and I'm embarking on a journey into the world of the shaman, realizing a dream I've had since I first discovered the Navajo's Beauty Way when I was a teenager. It's keeping me busy, but I must say, Life Is Good.

While I was working today, I was listening to Catie Curtis's most recent two albums: Long Night Moon (2006) and Sweet Life (2008). I talked about one of her songs back in January when I had a similar experience of reconnecting with her music and falling in love all over again. This time, I was especially struck by two songs . . .

"People Look Around," from Long Night Moon, is a timely look at where the political discussion in America has gotten derailed to. Written post-Katrina, it is just as applicable today as the conversation is turning yet again from global considerations (i.e. economics and climate change) back to things that have no business being mixed up with politics (i.e. religion). Of course, if we really wanted to bring religion into the discussion, I'm with Catie: "Jesus said, 'Feed the hungry,' Jesus said, 'Help the poor,' / 'Take care of each other, love one another.'" Not bad advice.

The other song that jumped out at me today was "Are You Ready to Fly?" from Sweet Life. Yes, I do have an obsession with the idea of learning to fly, but what a wonderful look at the sweetness of childhood, and how change really is an opportunity to fly.

So I hope you enjoy a little Catie Curtis distraction here this afternoon. And if it turns out you like her even half as much as I do, she'll be at the Freight and Salvage in Berkeley this Sunday and Monday. Wanna go?

Artist: Catie Curtis
Website: http://catiecurtis.com/
More information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catie_Curtis

Song: People Look Around
Album: Long Night Moon
Video: http://catiecurtis.com/index.php?page=video&display=797

The Mississippi River divides this land in two
Like the way tend to think of things, black and white, red and blue
If they can keep us fighting about marriage and god
They'll be no one left to notice if our leaders do their jobs

The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling in the ocean
Falling

When the water is rising and there is no higher ground
You can wave your hands up on the roof but you might be left to drown
In the streets of New Orleans, a makeshift funeral pall
"Here Lies Vera, God Help Us All"

The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling in the ocean
Falling

Jesus said "feed the hungry," Jesus said "help the poor"
"Take care of each other, love one another"
People look around, we let them down

The Mississippi River flooded New Orleans
And we stared in disbelief at our TV screens
If they can keep us fighting another endless war
How many tears before the truth cannot be ignored?

The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain
Falling in Lake Ponchartrain
Falling in the ocean
Falling

Written by Catie Curtis and Mark Erelli

Song: Are You Ready to Fly?
Albums: Sweet Life

Teenagers jumping off a railroad bridge
They’ve known each other since they were kids
It’s the end of the summer, good friends ready to fly
They do the cannonball in to the creek
They do the cannonball one more week
At the end of the summer, good friends saying goodbye

They were riding double on bicycles
Buying bubble gum and vying for the sun
And the summer was so long,
‘Til the summer was so gone

Your sister went to college in the fall
She took her posters off the bedroom wall
And the family drove all night from the university
And in the morning looking down the hall
She left her trophies and a couple dolls
But your family would be alright ‘cause you had to be

You were riding double on bicycles
Buying bubble gum and vying for the sun
And the summer was so long,
‘Til the summer was so gone

On we go down crooked roads alone to who knows where
Burning in this moment like a sparkler in mid-air

When you are jumping off a railroad bridge
No one can tell you what living is
At the end of the summer are you ready to fly?

We were riding double on bicycles
Buying bubble gum and vying for the sun
And the summer was so long,
‘Til the summer was so gone

Photo: Tony Baker

Joseph Campbell quote

A bit of advice given to a young Native American at the time of his initiation: “As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It’s not as wide as you think.”

~Joseph Campbell

Inspiration: The Invitation

I remember when Oriah Mountain Dreamer's The Invitation was just an email being forwarded from friend to friend. It was relatively early in the friend-spamming-friend era, but you still got more of those emails than "real" emails and it was tough to pick and choose which ones were worth your time. I know that I usually just skimmed those emails and deleted them, barely absorbing the messages within. This email was different, however. I remember doing my usual skim and then stopping, returning to the first line to read each word and allow it to truly sink in. To this day, I still get "Spirit bumps" when I read her words. I feel my whole body tingle with aliveness and I yearn to "dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of [my] fingers and toes." This is definitely a message about living life to its fullest, celebrating life in all its glory, and learning to fly.

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon . . .
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Photo: "Big Range Austin Dance Festival," originally uploaded by Andrew Baron

Inspiration: Wild Geese

I am in a place right now where I just want to soak up all the beauty and joy and love that is in the world. And so, with that in mind, this week I'd like to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to share some truly beautiful and moving words with you, the kind of words that inspire me to want both to write and to spread my wings and fly.

When I got out Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation this afternoon, the book fell open to a poem that brings tears to my eyes almost every time I hear its first line. Mary Oliver's words move me tangibly--I can feel them more than I can hear them even, vibrating within my being. I hope you find them inspirational too.

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Photo: "Wild Geese," originally uploaded by John Wigham

Ray Bradbury quote

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

~Ray Bradbury

Goodnight

I was listening to the radio in my car yesterday when I caught the lyrics "You have to leave the ground to learn the fly" in the song that was playing. This morning I looked it up and discovered it was a wonderfully simple song by a band I'm not familiar with called ZOX. I loved its imagery of releasing what you don't need any more and living in the present moment. Not to mention the power of understanding that you have to take a leap of faith before you can begin to soar. Lovely all the way around.

Artist: ZOX
Song: Goodnight
Album: Line in the Sand
Website: http://www.zoxband.com/
More information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zox



Goodnight
To the city and the sea
To the strangers in the street
Goodnight
To the ghosts out in the hall
The paint peeling off the walls
Goodnight

Sometimes I
Stand between the sidewalk and the sky
And just stare into the clouds as they pass by
You have to leave the ground to learn to fly

Goodnight
To the TV and the clocks
To the rain that never stops
Goodnight
To everyone I know
Shut my eyes and let em go
Goodnight

Sometimes I
Stand between the sidewalk and the sky
And just stare into the clouds as they pass by
You have to leave the ground to learn to fly

There is something beautiful dying every day
And for the first time in my life I’m not afraid
Cause there is nothing in this world that doesn’t change

Goodnight
To the person I have been
To the place that I am in
Goodnight
Tomorrow hello to the sun
Are you ready here I come
Goodnight

Sometimes I
Stand between the sidewalk and the sky
And just stare into the clouds as they pass by
You have to leave the ground to learn to fly

Step 7: Follow Your Bliss

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

BILL MOYERS: Do you ever have the sense of . . . being helped by hidden hands?

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: All the time. It is miraculous. I even have a superstition that has grown on me as a result of invisible hands coming all the time—namely, that if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.

Have you ever had a feeling of complete self-awareness where you recognize that what is happening right now could only be happening to you, and the events of the past hours, days, months, even years have all come together to produce this very moment? August Gold talks about the work that we alone can do, that we were born to do, and the feeling of resonance that happens when we stand in that place that only we can stand in. In The Alchemist, Paolo Coehlo explores the idea of the universe conspiring to help bring your dreams to fruition. Joseph Campbell discusses how when you follow your bliss, invisible hands come out to help you along your path.

This concept of "following your bliss" is the culmination of the ideas we have been discussing over the course of this series. It is about what happens when we begin to shift, to get clear, to take time to be still and listen, to follow our intuitive guidance, to allow our real selves to come out into the world, and to take steps, however small, in the direction of our dreams. It is about how doors begin to open for us, how people begin to show up seemingly accidentally with access to different pieces of the puzzle, how things we were led to do years ago suddenly begin to make sense within this new framework, and how our dreams begin to take shape.

There is a lot of misconception surrounding this topic. Critics talk about how if we all followed our bliss, there would be tons of starving artists in the world and no janitors. Or people will say, what I'd really like to do is not to work, so I'm going to pursue that goal and the money will still follow, right? This isn't about imagining a life that sounds glamorous or exciting and doing that. And it definitely isn't some spiritually couched permission to be lazy. It is about finding your place in the world, your passion, your divine birthright, and throwing yourself into it, taking the leap of faith with full knowledge that the universe will provide you solid ground to step on, or at the very least a soft place to fall.

Finding your place in the world is neither as difficult nor as easy as it sounds. As we've touched on previously, life is always giving us messages, showing us the next step we need to take. We don't go out for our first run today and finish a marathon tomorrow--we take steps that enable us to reach that ultimate goal. It isn't a matter of instant gratification, it's about laying a solid foundation and creating the building blocks you need in order to get there. And the best part? You aren't doing this alone, you do not need to have the full blueprint in your head in order to have it all come together beautifully. Your job is to be aware, to notice what resonates and what doesn't, to trust in yourself and the universe, to listen to the messages you receive and follow their guidance.

One of the reasons I love Wonderfalls, the short-lived TV series starring Caroline Dhavernas, is that it explores this concept in a more obvious and direct way. The main character, Jaye, literally receives messages from the universe--normally inanimate objects begin to speak to her. Their somewhat enigmatic messages lead her to do things that set whole courses of events in motion with often humorous and always miraculous results. The show explores how seemingly small circumstances become snowballs that nudge (or knock) us into living our destiny. One of my favorite episodes (spoiler alert) includes the phrase "Bring Her Back To Him." Jaye interprets this to mean that she should try to reconcile the nun hiding out at the local bar with the priest who has come to town looking for her. At one point she and the nun have an argument in a parking lot--Jaye gets upset and drives away, backing into a car and breaking its taillight in the process. It turns out to be the priest's car; when the police pull him over for the broken taillight, they discover a warrant out for his arrest. His last girlfriend before he had entered the priesthood had been looking for him for almost ten years, and he gets to meet the daughter he never knew he had for the first time. By the end of the episode many "hers" have been brought back to many "hims," including, and resulting in, the nun's faith in God being restored.

While our messages are not usually so literal, nor the steps to get from taillight to reunion so clearly painted, they are always happening for us too. Once you really get this, you come to understand that coincidences are really incidences of synchronicity, showing us the way. Start saying "Yes!" to the universe, stepping through the doors that open up for you along the way. Pay attention to the messages you receive each day and follow where they lead. Uncover your passion and immerse yourself in it. My guess is that you will be following your bliss before you know, benefiting from the invisible hands helping you along the way, spreading your wings and soaring to new heights, loving the feeling of resonance that comes with standing in your right place in the world. Namaste.

Recommended Reading:
The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron
The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield
Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow, by Marsha Sinetar
Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Power of Myth, by Joseph Campbell
The Witch of Portobello, by Paolo Coehlo

Photo: "follow your bliss," by irene suchocki

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Step 3: Shift Your Perspective

From the Steps to Learning How to Fly series.

How would it be if everything that you thought you knew / Was turned upside down opposite from your point of view / How would you feel if the ground was really the sky and all of this time / you've been walkin' when you coulda been flying . . . ~Ellis, How Would It Be

Have you ever seen one of those images where if you look at it one way it looks like one thing, but if you shift your perspective it looks like something else entirely? There's the classic from Intro to Psych where the same image looks like an old lady or a young lady. Or the one where you can tell which side of the brain you are using depending on which direction the lady is spinning, and for some of us even switch the direction she is spinning in. Or really, just about any of M.C. Escher's work, where he plays with reality by throwing physics out the window. Perspective is part of what makes us human and is probably the best example of relativity I can think of because there is nothing permanent about it, nothing absolute--it can always be changed, shifted, adjusted as new information comes in or as we make new choices.

Choice is perhaps the most powerful concept available to anyone interested in making changes in their life. Dictionary.com offers at least a dozen definitions of choice; my favorites are 1) an act or instance of choosing; selection; 2) the right, power, or opportunity to choose; option; and 3) an alternative. This idea of selection, of opportunity, of options, of alternatives, can be applied to our lives in a myriad of ways. Let's start by looking at three:

1. Choose your reaction. How you react to what's happening to you and around you is a choice. Even just looking at life as a series of events that are happening to you is a choice. We are active participants in our lives with more power than most of us can imagine, let alone tap into, but a place that is (relatively) easy to start is with our reactions. When someone cuts in front of you in line at the store, you have a choice whether to view it as an active insult, an honest mistake, or not to care either way. When someone else is having a bad day and bites your head off, you have a choice about whether to get mad in return or to recognize where they're coming from and to see past the attitude. It's a matter of perspective, of where you're coming from and how you're feeling in that moment. Sometimes even just being aware that there are alternative ways to react to a situation diffuses it and provides you with what you need in order to take a step back, detach yourself, and choice a more positive perspective. Does this mean that suddenly the people around us in our lives aren't rude or whatnot? Not necessarily. The power in this is that it is 100% about you and what you choose to do with the situation--whatever is going on with the other person doesn't need to come into play, especially since the only person you have control over, really ever, is yourself.

2. Choose anew. Each moment is an opportunity to make a new choice. A teacher of mine used to say, "You aren't responsible for your first thought but you are responsible for your second thought." Especially when you're just learning how to shift your reactions to things, the first thing that comes up for you is often the familiar pattern or habit that's been with you for most of your life. It's okay, there's no need to beat yourself up here. This is a great opportunity to use that power of choice to shift your perspective and choose anew. While Scarlett O'Hara's observation that "tomorrow is another day" is definitely true, coming right up is another moment for you to use as you see fit. The goal here is to pay attention to your thoughts, your moods, whatever is happening right now and see if those reactions are really in your best interest in this moment. So let's say you're back at that store with the person cutting you off in line. If you find yourself getting angry and starting to mumble under your breath, pause for a moment, take a deep breath, maybe shake your hand or your foot a bit like you're letting the anger fall out of you, and find a thought that feels better. Maybe notice that it is difficult to tell where the line goes and it's a mistake that anyone could make, or perhaps conjure up some sympathy when you see that the person is obviously distraught and just not paying attention, or even just laugh it off. Laughter is amazingly restorative and, at least for me, always makes me feel better no matter what is going on.

3. Choose to focus on the positive. Have you ever noticed how many of our cliches, adages, sayings are about things not going our way? When we talk about money, we say how it doesn't grow on trees or how we need to make sure we're saving it for a rainy day. When we talk about love, we say how it is fickle and fleeting or we banter about how hard it is to find a good man or woman these days. On your way into work in the morning if you meet a colleague on the way in, what do you talk about? My guess is how little sleep you got the night before or how much work is waiting for you on your desk or that flu that's been going around. Try a little experiment sometime and don't go with the flow here, talk about how great you're feeling and what a beautiful day it is and how you're really looking forward to that project you're getting to work on today. If you're lucky you can shift the tenor of the conversation; if not, you might just recognize how ingrained all this negativity is in our culture, our expectations, our way of life.

The law of attraction has gotten a lot of attention lately, some good and some bad. Wherever you are on that spectrum, it is definitely worth taking the time to truly understand what the law of attraction is all about.* It is an incredibly simple concept that is not necessarily easy to put into practice. The gist is that what you put out into the universe is what comes back to you, so if your thoughts, feelings, beliefs are generally negative then you'll get more negative back and if you're focusing on the positive, you'll get positive in return. I like to think of it as a cosmic photocopier--it isn't a perceptive process, it just takes in what it gets and returns it in kind. It doesn't have the power of discernment, can't say, "Oh, what she meant here was . . ." Often when we're thinking about what it is we want, our attention is on what it is we feel is missing in our lives--and exactly that, what is MISSING instead of on what it is we desire--and so we get more of the "missing" back in return. It's kind of like being asked NOT to think about a pink elephant--the first thing that happens is that you think about a pink elephant.

This is where the power of choice comes into play. As with the earlier examples, it is a matter of paying attention to what's happening in your head and in your life and using that power of choice to shift your perspective, make new choices, see the good even when it doesn't appear to be there. There are millions of inputs into this system every day and it is not possible to control all of them, but you can control the ones you're conscious of and choose to shift your attention to the positive, to what feels good to you. As with anything else, start where you are today and see if you can turn even one thing around, then maybe shoot for two tomorrow. With each thought, belief, pattern you shift each day, you'll begin to see your life shifting around you too.

Just remember, there's no one right way to do things. The only mistake you can make is not to try, to notice that things aren't going the way you would like them to and to choose not to do anything about them. Because yes, even appearing to not make a choice is a choice. Life is not a dress rehearsal, but it can definitely be a play with you as the playwright and the star. What new choices would you make if you really knew you couldn't make a mistake, that you'll always be supported, that there will always be something new out there for you to explore? What's stopping you?

Recommended Viewing:
The Secret
What the Bleep Do We Know!?

Recommended Reading:
The Law of Attraction, by Ester and Jerry Hicks
Winona's Web, by Priscilla Cogan
You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay

* I plan to revisit this topic fairly regularly on this blog so we can continue to explore and come to better understand the law of attraction together.

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Steps to learning how to fly

So I have this burning question that I hope you share with me -- How does one really learn how to fly? As with many things in life, I have great philosophical and intellectual answers to this question, and what I am working on now is the experiential piece. But I'd like to share with you what I've learned so far.

Perhaps the key here is to first believe that you really do deserve to fly, that life isn't meant to be endless suffering and struggle, that there really is the opportunity rise up above the relativity of the world and experience the Absolute, the inherent love and good and peace that is always available for the taking. I love this quote from Robert Cooper:

It’s easy to act as if you are a weathervane, always changing your beliefs and words, trying to please everyone around you. But we were born to be lighthouses, not weathervanes. Imagine a vertical axis running through the center of your heart, from your deepest roots to your highest aspirations. That’s your lighthouse. It anchors you in the world and frees you from having to change directions every time the weather shifts. Inside this lighthouse there is a lens and a light. The light represents who you are when nobody else is looking. That light was meant to keep shining, no matter how dark or stormy it gets outside . . . when you find that light inside you, you will know it. Don’t let anyone else dim it . . . and one more thing: remember to look for the light inside others. If at first you can’t see it, look deeper. It’s there.

This is what I believe, or even more than that, I know it to be true. All of the great teachers have talked about letting your let shine, not hiding your light under a bushel, seeing the divinity in everyone -- sound familiar? These aren't just pretty words to make you feel better -- really, they're a call to action, a call to that deep place within you that really feels, that wants to thrive, that understands why you are here. When you get quiet and listen, can you hear it? Can you feel it? What do you hear that voice within you saying?

Perhaps you cannot feel this with any definiteness, you just hope that it is true. That's more than enough to start down the path of learning how to fly. I'd like to take some time over this next week to explore what I see as the steps along this path.

1. Start Where You Are
2. Clear the Slate
3. Shift Your Perspective
4. Connect Consciously
5. Trust Your Intuition
6. Come Out of Hiding
7. Follow Your Bliss

They aren't necessarily linear, some of them are most certainly circular, making your journey look more like you're dancing a little jig as you go. But each step is important, necessary even, as you learn how to spread your wings and begin to fly. The more steps I take myself, the more I understand the ones I've already taken, and the more trust I have when the light shines on my next step. I think this will be fun to explore together and I look forward to learning more with you as we continue along this journey together. Namaste.

Photo: Soaring, Originally uploaded by Peter Kaminski


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How Would It Be

Today feels like a good day for "How Would It Be." A good friend gave my mom Ellis's EP as a birthday present for her trip cross-country last fall. This song quickly became part of her daily ritual due to its powerful message and infectious music. As soon as I heard it I understood why, and ended up playing it over and over and over and over again. It is still a "go to" song for both of us, the kind of music that lifts you up and carries you over the trials of your day.

Please, do yourself a favor, visit Ellis's website, listen to her music, find a venue where she's playing near you. Funny, honest, open, entertaining, deep, powerful--she is a true treasure. I saw her in Santa Cruz in December and I fell even more in love with her. And I can even forgive her for re-recording "How Would It Be," even though I thought the version on the EP was infinitely better than the version that ended up on the full album, because she's that awesome. So, how would you change your life if you learned that the ground was really sky? Would you stop walking and learn how to fly?

Artist: Ellis
Song: How Would It Be
Album: Break The Spell
Website: http://www.ellis-music.com/
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5Exkqp2FVo



V1: How would it be if everything that you thought you knew
Was turned upside down opposite from your point of view
How would you feel if the ground was really the sky and all of this
time you've been walkin' when you coulda been ...flying

V2: If you run a thousand miles a minute you can expect
to wear out a few pairs of shoes
If you forget how to love and take it for granted
You can expect to wear out people close to you

Ch: What if all the birds were flying just to show us
All the trees were really holdin' the sky up
And everything that you do matters somehow
What if heaven and hell was right now

V3. How would it be if you really created your life?
Stories you told, the good and bad, that they come alive
And how would it change if your words were like nails and wood?
You build your house, but you forget that it's just a house
You can rebuild it

Ch: What if all the birds were flying just to show us
All the trees were really holdin' the sky up
Everything that you do matters in the end
What if all of our mistakes are forgiven?

Br: What if love is a lot of listening
A little bit of time not pretending
We are caught up in a world of daydreams
What if loving what you have is everything?

Ch out: What if all the birds were flying just to show us
And all the trees were really holdin' the sky up
And everything that you do matters so much
How would you change your life?
How would you change your life?

Blossoming

I already feel like I've been on a roller coaster and it's only 9:30! I woke up this morning really tense, my whole body aching from head to toe. I'd had a long night of not sleeping well, presumably because my back hurt but substantially because I've had underlying money worries all week. I dragged myself out of bed a little before 6, set myself up on the couch with an ice pack, and started to do my morning pages. I grumbled for a little while but finally just started asking myself questions. What is it going to take for me not to let stress show up in my body? What do I need to learn in order to kick my money issues once and for all? What is the source of this fear that I can feel rumbling around in my tummy?

The bottom line? As Marianne Williamson says, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." The more I recognize that I need to take risks, the push myself out of my shell, to claim my power, the louder the voice of fear becomes in my head. But as Anais Nin said, "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." I know that this change is necessary and I know that now is the time and I know that I am ready to live my life like Ellis suggests: "How would it be if everything that you thought you knew / Was turned upside down opposite from your point of view / How would you feel if the ground was really the sky and all of this / time you've been walkin' when you coulda been flying." Yeah baby, yeah!

So I got out a pad of paper and wrote down each of my fears on its own page. Then I went back and added the old patterns that surface, enabling those fears to gain footing in my consciousness. I took my 11 slips of paper, a pile of pillows, and a whiffle bat and I bashed each fear or pattern. Hallelujah! The paper was really too light for this process and so it would float up in the air, which immediately made me laugh. So I kept bashing and laughing and bashing and laughing until I felt completely filled with love and light and laughter. The weight of those fears and patterns had lifted. I danced around my living room for a little while, high on the feeling of lightness, then scooped up the slips of paper and held a burning bowl ritual. I took the slips one by one, stated my intention for what I am now accepting in my life, and watched the words burn away, going back into the nothingness from whence they came. When I was done, I took out my sage and smudged myself and my apartment, acknowledging that today is a new day, and that I am starting fresh.

I find ritual soothing, a way of getting a message out of my head and into my body. While it might not be necessary in order to affect change, for me it feels like one of the better tools in my toolbox, a tried and true method of getting things to move in a direction that feels good. Like anything else, it's a process, and I may need to do another ritual next week, next month, or even tomorrow, but for right now, I feel free to fly. Namaste.

Learn to Fly

I was driving home from the grocery store this afternoon and this song came on the radio. I'm singing along thinking, I really like this song, I'd forgotten all about it. Then we come to the chorus and it is, of course, all about learning to fly. It seemed too appropriate not to post it today, since, in case you hadn't noticed, learning to fly is what I'm all about these days.

This concept speaks to me on at least two levels. One, it's about learning, growing, expanding. And two, it's about FLYING, not just surviving or being adequate--it's about being more. This in a nutshell is what I want my life to be about, not just today, but from here on out. There is always more to learn and there is always a space to expand into. Hear hear.

The song "Learn to Fly" is another one from 1999. I believe (although I might be mistaken, I'm definitely no expert) that it was the first big Foo Fighters hit here in the U.S. While I enjoyed it when it came out, it didn't make a huge mark on my landscape. It's one that over time, the more I've listened to it, the more I like it. Perhaps a little bit of nostalgia--songs that remind me of specific periods grow on me precisely because they are reminders--but I've also grown and changed a lot over the past decade. Whatever it is, I now think this song is a lot of fun, and 8+ years after it was released, I am now a proud owner of it. Thank you, iTunes.

Artist: Foo Fighters
Website: http://www.foofighters.com/home
More information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foo_Fighters
Song: Learn to Fly
Album: There Is Nothing Left to Lose

Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die

I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright

I'm looking for complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly

I think I'm done nursing the patience
I can wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try
We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright...
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own

My dark side

My dark side is rearing its ugly head this morning. It's like a cacophony of voices ringing in my head, the voices of fear saying, You'll never be good enough... you're not special... there are thousands of writers and coaches and intuitives and teachers and healers out there. What makes you think you're special? What makes you think you've got something unique or different to say? And the best one of all -- Who do you think you are?

Ah yes, the dark side. My negative self-talk that often masquerades as rational, critical thinking. It can sound so self-protective sometimes, like when a parent is trying to let their child down easy, or give advice the child doesn't really want to hear. Other times it sounds harsh, cruel, angry, throwing past failures (or even current) in my face as if to say, See? If you'd just listened to me in the first place, this never would have happened. And when I'm feeling a little down, what those voices are saying make so much sense. I start thinking you're right, I'm being totally silly here, I should try something more practical, something safe. But something inside of me knows there's only one thing that voice of fear has said that's entirely true -- if I had listened to it in the first place, this never would have happened. The voice means it to be reprimanding, to suggest that next time I should follow its advice. But the real truth is that making those mistakes, putting myself out there in such a way that there's even a possibility of failure is the only way I'm going to grow, the only way I'm going to learn.

You'll hear people talk about not being able to follow their dreams because look how old they are. I can't go to film school, medical school, etc. -- I'm already 30, or 40, or 50! But what they aren't considering is that if they don't go follow that dream, they'll still be however old they are and stuck in the same unfulfilled place they are now. I do not want to be one of those people. What I want more than anything else in this life is to shake off all these feelings of "should have" and "supposed to," all this practical, intellect-based thinking, and really FEEL, really and truly LIVE. And the only way I'm going to be able to do that is to take leaps of faith, to continue to push the envelope, to come out of hiding, to integrate all of the facets of my personality into one ME and show her off to the whole world. And sometimes I'm going to fall flat on my face and bang up my knees (literally and figuratively), but I will always have the support I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again tomorrow.

What is your dream? What would living your life fully look like? What aren't you doing today that feels like a gaping hole in your life, even if it's a hole that has never been filled? You show me yours and I'll show you mine. And then maybe, we can give each other a boost, help each other unfurl those wings, and give flying a try together. Namaste.

My two cents

I've been talking about blogging on and off for years, but there was always something I needed to do first. Getting wise enough to have something to say. Needing to find the time. Building out my own website so I could have the blog be on that. But something an interesting man I met at dinner last week said made me realize that those excuses just weren't cutting it any more. So here I am, with all of my imperfections, learning how to fly with the rest of the flock, just out here sharing my thoughts.

It seems to me this time of year that there's an overwhelming amount of angst about. I know this isn't exactly a novel observation, but it hits me in the gut every year, even when I think I'm prepared for it. The holidays are steeped in expectation, and many of those expectations are negative ones. I believe that what we put out there comes back to us, so if we have negative expectations for how the holidays will be, then that's how they'll turn out. Those presents we're working so hard to buy will be unappreciated. Nothing you do will be good enough for your parents. The traffic in the parking lots will be awful. Just writing about it makes me shudder and want to do a little dance to get it all off of me before it soaks in.

My goal for this holiday season is to take each day as it comes. To focus on the love I feel for all of my family and friends. To know that yes, I am writing 100 holiday cards and yes, that feels like a lot, but I truly am blessed to have such an expansive group of family and friends that I want to share with this time of year. For me, it isn't about what this season represents or doesn't represent -- it's about taking the opportunity at any point in the year to experience your life in its present moment and to share your love with your world.

That's my two cents for the day. Namaste.